Here are my Human Resources political slogans:
- “No. You. Can’t.”
- “Don’t hope.”
- “Your dreams have been derailed.”
- “We’re rebuilding America — with cheaper, foreign labor.”
- “Everyone in the C-Suite gets a tax cut.”
- “Prosperity will never be shared.”
- “Change isn’t an option.”
- “Stop believing it’s possible.”
What am I missing, Suckers?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Teamwork – there’s no “i” in team, so I’m going on vacation and leaving you with all the “work.”
“There’s no ‘we’ in my paycheck.”
- Laurie Ruettimann, circa 2001, at an unnamed Consumer Packaged Goods Company.
(I have since learned that you don’t say those things to a VP of HR when you have no seniority and you’re a twenty-five year-old punk kid with a bad attitude.)
Hmm.. I have a few ideas:
* Rebuilding America with a really big Org Chart.
* Building trust with tools nobody trusts.
* Raising expectations, lowering pay.
… And I actually *like* our HR department! (Most of the time)
Oh Neil, these are so good!