This isn’t a work-related post, necessarily, but you must know this about me: there are no men in several generations of my family. It’s by design, actually: we are a family of second and third marriages, multiple divorces, and men who are simply referred to as the baby’s daddy.
I have no problem with my family’s structure. Furthermore, we have several generations of strong women in my family who know how to survive. We can adapt to change, we can manage dysfunction, and we still know how to have a good time.
In any case, the time when the absence of men is most noticeable in our family is during illnesses.
My mother was sick in 1998, and a doctor referred to my family as a group of Amazons. He was an old, stupid doctor who had his head up his ass — but it’s not uncommon to hear similar comments at the hospital from well-intentioned doctors and nurses who are genuinely surprised to see a lack of men in my family.
Just yesterday, a very nice and thoughtful surgeon commented upon the lack of the Y chromosome in my family — immediately after telling us about my grandmother’s condition. I know we are a friendly family. We smile and love the doctors who care for our grandmother; however, I just wanted to respond, “Dude, aren’t you at work? Does your job allow you to comment upon the lack of Y chromosomes in the nursing staff, too?”
My grandmother is a stubborn old lady who exemplifies independence and self-sufficiency. It’s nice to have a man, of course, and I’m totally thankful for my own husband — but it’s nice to know that I come from a long-line of hardworking, determined feminists who are not afraid to choose something better than the crappy comforts of bad marriages and good-for-nothing husbands. We may not always make the best choices in my family, but we have some standards.
Also, if you’re a medical professional, I do have some work-related advice for you: please keep your personal commentary about my family structure to yo’self.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.
You are a smelly pirate hooker!
At least he didn’t say “Which one of you little ladies needs a little doctor lovin’?”.
I would have responded, “I don’t know how to put this, doctor, but I’m kind of a big deal.”
hey babe. i’ve read a bit about “the masculinization of medicine,” particularly in regard to the childbirth process. it’s NOT GOOD. those doctors can go F themselves!
and here’s an excerpt from an article in the NYTimes that’s over 10 years old but still seems to be true:
“By the end of the century, ”regular medicine” – the male medical establishment – emphasized laboratory science and experimentation, so the microorganisms responsible for specific diseases could be identified and attacked. Women doctors, often clinging to some of the traditions of ”irregular medicine,” emphasized holistic healing and prevention. Mrs. Morantz-Sanchez acknowledges these poles but insists on a more complex history. Women in medicine have never been united in their perspectives, she says, and most have used both approaches to healing; they have been less active in medical science partly because of discrimination and harassment.”
Col, those are all good. I’m going to sit down & read them when I have a minute. Truly, though, you are right on the money: those doctors can F themselves.
Laurs, I really can’t help myself, but please remember that my core policy is to only tease people I love!
…”This isn
Etienne — No need to resist teasing me. I love it!