Weird story.
Apparently, as I was leaving my pformer employer, two colleagues recognized my hard work & nominated me for a performance award. This performance award is called a STAR award, and you are given $50 if your supervisor agrees that you are a STAR.
I vaguely remember being nominated and feeling ambivalent.
- I’m a star? Wow! Great! Don’t forget to send me the superstar severance check, yo.
So I opened today’s mail and I received one of those gifty Mastercards for $100 — the amount represents my unused and unredeemed STAR awards. I can use it almost anywhere!
I wish I could remember who nominated me and recognized my performance because now I feel like an asshole. Did I say ‘thank you’ in an email? I’m usually very polite, so I’m praying to baby jesus that I recognized your recognition of me.
Needless to say, this superstar is feeling like she ‘exceeds expectations’. She also needs a manicure & pedicure.
This reminds me of something I’ve thought of a few times in the past: as if a funeral wasn’t sad enough, isn’t it even sadder that the casket-borne will never get to hear the best words ever pronounced about them i.e. their own eulogy?
Can you imagine if one of your family members or friends came up to you and told you what they would say?
Or how about if you wrote your own eulogy?
you deserve every single penny — and a mani pedi … and a latte!
So where are you taking us for dinner tonight?
@Jacob I’m not someone who is motivated by feedback, positive or negative. If I wrote my own eulogy, I would say, “It’s too bad she didn’t have more cats.”
@Cols Oh, I’m all about the latte.
@B We are going to Olive Garden because I’m classy like that.
You may have forgotten how awesome you are, Mrs. Ruettimann, but I know I speak for all of us when I say that we never forgot it for a moment. Here are some of the things I find most awesome about you, because I so closely relate:
Punk rock, the predilection for tubular meat, coffee, blond hair, bad knees, bacon, and fudge packing to the musical glug of vodka.
I’ll keep you in suspense no longer now: the plica tissue across the condyle of my right knee, in the suprapatellar pouch, has responded well to cortisone injections. My doctor even tells me that if I’m able to run without any pain, I can continue running. She said furthermore, in answer to my direct question on the matter, that the cortisone injections could be safely replaced with hot beef injections — “not that it will do you any good” (quoting her exact words). Unfortunately, the patellar tendon of my left knee is still rather inflamed. If it’s not one thing with me, it’s another.
Miss Priss, you make me blush.
I concur with your recommendation for a hot beef injection. Might I suggest a cold one on the side, as well? (Won’t do much for your knee or my hips, but my suggested therapy is like a glass of 2% milk — it goes down smooth and does the body good.)
xxxooo