Brace yourselves, Suckers. It’s not all good news around the water cooler even though — technically — we’re not in a recession. (Whew!)
Did you hear the big announcement that Japan is almost out of butter?!
Oh. My. God. It’s the end of the world as we know it. How do you feel?!
I, for one, am freaked out. While smart people are quibbling with George Bush on the semantics of a recession, I’m busy hording fuel and stocking up on butter, rice, and anything else with fat & carbs.
Join me, will you? Let me know — what are you hording in anticipation of the upcoming apocalypse?
My mother has a pantry full of about 50 lbs. of white rice and at least 30 cans of Dinty Moore beef stew, among other things. Seriously. It’s not because of the recession-that’s-not-a-recession or rising food prices. It’s in preparation for the bird flu. She also has about 80 rolls of toilet paper or something like that, and my step-dad has taken care of the guns and ammo needed to defend it all when hell breaks loose. The sad thing about this is that I’m not joking.
Beer, cigarettes and pork chops.
It works now, why change a good thing?
In the event that I will no longer be able to obtain pork chops or live pigs, I’ve also stocked up on other white meat flavored spam.
-Brad
http://www.ClashofCulture.com
I’m hording pugs. Here’s hoping the market improves!
@La Mama When the bird flu arrives, I’m going to Louisiana. (Also, it’s nice to know that someone will be eating DInty Moore after the rapture.)
@Brad I like the idea of hording ready-to-eat bacon. When the end of the world comes, I don’t want to be slowed down by the microwave.
@Rachel Oh boy, we need to defend the weak US dollar before you get worse!
What? no hording of bacon?
Bacon meets my fat quota — I wish it had more carbs.
I just bought a big bag of jasmine rice at Costco, but I’ll probably share it with my sister. I’m not actually hoarding anything, but I have all of my grandmother’s Depression-era recipes ready and waiting.
I’m hoarding pet hair by not cleaning it off my carpet or furniture. This way if we run out of fabric during the recession I can just knit clothes out of dog fur.
@Average Jane There’s nothing like rice and poverty to fuel the American spirit!
@Jen Don’t forget about the pet hair in your car!
I can’t hoard anything cause the boyfriend eats it all. However, at my parents, they have a few shelves of Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce. In my office I have a stash of Heinz ketchup packets. Hmm, condiments are they key to making anything taste better in my world I guess!! I’m safe here!
Beans… I have about 10 pounds of pinto beans. I also have a rubbermaid container full of rice, it’s about half a 50lb bag. and a flat of ramen. I serioualy have a phobia of not having enough food, I always have, I’m crazy.
@Gina Do you also stash sweet & low? It’s so weird when I go to restaurants and see old people steal condiments!
@Lexy Beans? We know that the world will still have methane-human-global-warming if you survive the apocalypse! Also, the way you feel about beans is the way I feel about paper towels. I can’t have too many rolls.
i have some sugar in there too… haha.
Oh crap, the easiest way to keep yourself in carbs is a few bags of dirt and potatoes. Potatoes are alive and try to make more potatoes by growing ‘eyes’. Put them in the dirt, put a few holes in the side & bottom of the bag to drain the water, give them half a cup of water each day, pesto, carb supply that isn’t just a starch bomb every 100 days. Lots of weeds are edible, like dandelions. Unless your in New York, a supply of spuds, some onions, and weeds will keep you going so long as you’ve a water supply & purifier.
I love how dandelions are recession-food for some people and avant garde salad food for rich people.