I’m fascinated by this article about depression in The Economist (via Gawker). The authors talk about the evolutionary origin of depression and how it may be healthy to give up inappropriate goals.
I think there’s something to be said for giving up unattainable goals in your job search. America puts so much emphasis on our jobs & careers as extensions of our personalities and lives. What if you started to think about your job search differently? What if a job is just a means to other things? What if it’s less important for you to find a job that pays what you earned in 2007 and more important for you to enough to achieve more thoughtful and meaningful goals in your life?
Check your expectations right now. Do you want to find a job that makes you feel better about who you are as a person? It’s never gonna to happen. Sorry. Your career will always break your heart. Get a dog, eat some ice cream with your kids, and stop your unemployment-related depression in its tracks.
Oh—and if you want to stop being moody & sad about your job search, approach Monday with a different purpose. It’s time to look for a job that allows you to have awesome and meaningful experiences outside of work.
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Most people are not cut out for flipping burgers (aka – American beauty)…I say don’t drop your aspirations, just don’t make it about $$$, make it about meaningful to you – work…
M
Thought provoking – something to definitely to reference as I talk with job hunters out there.
Here’s my addition to this theory: I think people can have unrealistic expectations of how other people will behave. This also adds to depression and anxiety. And when it comes to a job search, people can appear to fail the job hunter left and right.
I can’t tell you how many seekers I’ve talked to that are still dwelling on the fact that they sent their resume in and no one wanted to interview them.
Thanks for this Laurie, you made me think on a Saturday morning!
@MarkF What if you worked for money to attain realistic things in life? What if it’s not about earning money to keep up with a consumer-driven cycle, but rather, earning money to do something more important like a) pay a mortgage or b) go back to school or c) retire early and spend time with your grandkids? I don’t want to demonize money. I want to demonize stupid expectations.
@Nelking Oh, good thoughts. I’m reminded of how family members are stuck on finding a job just like their last job. What about finding the next job that will lead to something better? We’re not taught to look forward in a realistic way. I could never find a sweet & easy job like the one I had at Pfizer. I’d never even think about it.
Unreachable goals is a little strong in this case. I thinking our goals evolve each day or year as we age. I do agree people need to stop looking at the “American Fantasy” and start being real. However, I think a dream job is not out of reach, just be realistic on their approach.
Now, I will always tell job seekers if they get two job offers, look at their situation and see what fits them for now. It could be a dream job that pays not a lot, or a miserable company that pays a ton. People have different reasons why they select one or the other and I respect that, but I would never tell anyone to drop their aspirations.
Right ON. I’m not surprised that some people don’t get this concept, though. In America, we reward persistence. However, misplaced persistence can be a major hazard professionally, psychologically, socially, economically, etc. Put it this way: stalkers are very persistent.
It reminds me of the “natural” argument people use. “This product is NATURAL so you can’t be allergic to it or have a bad reaction from it, it has to be GOOD for you”. Guess what else is NATURAL? Cobra venom, black widows, tobacco, a lion’s teeth, lava, poisonous mushrooms…
@Tracy Tran Who gets two job offers, these days? Anyway I get your point but sometimes aspirations are misguided or immature. I have relatives who still think they have talent like Britney Spears. I’m like, yeah, okay, you can hope to be discovered but please get yourself a job, yo.
@Jenn OMG, the list of natural stuff is brilliant. Death. Death is natural, too.
Death is natural. I will never look at a “natural” product again without thinking: Death. cobra venom, and black widows.
Oh yes. Do not make your job your identity because if you do, you will be devastated when you are laid off along with 800 other salaried employees at HQ. You had to know it was coming because they ran out of hourly people to lay off a long time ago. Five years of layoffs will do that. And yes, you will be devastated anyhow, but it hurts worse if you are emotionally attached to the job.
It will be worse when you take that Christmas temp job at Macy’s at Christmas in Women’s Finer Sportswear (Ralph Lauren, Dana Buchman) and wait on two of your former colleagues who are still employed. You know — the ones who were on the team YOU WERE RUNNING.
Yes, there is dignity in all work and you are happy to have the job because hey, you have a mortgage that has to be paid, and you do get a 20% employee discount, which is why the women who work full time at FedEx are also working at Macy’s in the evening (although you for sure aren’t using it because see: mortgage), but damn, you never did like that woman and it is a little galling to ring up her $536 purchase while you are working for $9/hour before taxes.
@Nelking Now go use some Burt’s Bees!
@Class that woman who spends $536 is probably mortgaged to the hilt with no savings.
There was a time when I thought that I had to give 200% of myself to a job, work late hours & weekends, work thru my lunch breaks and really dedicate myself to the detriment of my family…when I was let go on a Friday and the bosses new daughter in law was in my office on a Monday, I quickly realized what I fool I was. It was a big wake up call for me and it took months to “get over it”. When I finally snapped out of it, I took my career towards a different path. The next job I took was working for a smaller company, I did not clock in the hours and I made sure that I took some time for my personal needs each day. I’m much happier now then I ever thought I was before and this is just the beginning. In the next year I plan to redirect my entire career into a totally different path including writing a book and spending more time persuing personal goals such as travel. I downsized everything including putting my big house up for sale, just so that I dont have to take a job for the money….so far its been an exciting new journey and I’m really looking forward to staying on track!!!
Discussions on this topic always make me think of my favourite line in Fight Club: “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”
It’s a perceptive take on GenX’s general disaffection and alienation and I think it goes double for the millenials. Not to say it’s an apology or an excuse for people who use said disaffection as a reason to do nothing but slack and complain (I mean, slack if you like, it’s your call, but don’t complain if you don’t get anywhere), but it’s a really helpful little line for understanding where they’re (we’re) coming from.
@latinahr I really applaud and support this. That’s a smart way to think about life & what’s most important. Way to live your values!
The other problem with our focus on “work as everything” is that it takes away the time and mental energy we could be using to explore and experiment with other things (outside of our jobs) that could ultimately lead us to meaningful work. I think this is why so many people feel stuck after years of just taking the next job after the next job.