@perrik Ah, you make me sentimental for the days when doctors didn’t wash their hands and women couldn’t inherit property.

@babyboy True. Sometimes it’s okay to bring children to work. Not every day, though.

@wordsmythe I can’t disagree with anything you’ve written, especially the part about being temporarily abled. So true. Thanks for being on your soap box because that was awesome.

I understand the demands of the workplace, but I understand also the demands of parents. Infancy in my experience is about the least distracting time you will have with your kid. I have done many things with a baby over my shoulder, on my lap, sleeping. When they start running around, it’s harder. Maybe a good use for your high school interns… kiddie corral. It is amazing, also, how well kids can adapt to the situations they are in if they are treated like human beings, and not mere nuisances.

I know the usual arguments about family versus work: think before you have kids, use birth control, moms belong at home, don’t get divorced, etc. I’ve heard them all. Life is not always that neat and orderly. Try this, for example: think before you have a crippled kid. If only things always went according to plan.

Advocate we do… Amazing how productive some of us can be in our mission to change the world, even with a few screaming kids surrounding us, including one who is very verbal (“Fuck you fucking computer!”), kicking holes in the wall when his computer program does not produce the desired effect, and another who is nonverbal but LOUD, weighs 120, is not toilet trained, and has the toddler-like curiosity to scout out whatever is left out on the kitchen counter–a boy with the height and strength to do major damage in a short time. It can be distracting in the short-term, but believe it or not, it is not impossible. Fortunately, my state representative and senator’s aides were understanding when they overheard the commotion on my end the last time I called to ask for important 2009 fiscal year budget considerations. I am glad someone is understanding, and they even managed to fund a few important line items quite nicely. But I digress.

Now, I know that many do not want child-centered chaos in the workplace, considering that some of us use work as our own personal respite (I never knew that tea and a photocopier could be so soothing). Damned expensive respite care, at least in past jobs, working hard so I could pay MORE for childcare–hardly helped pay the mortgage, and as much as I enjoyed adult interaction and being thanked once in a while for work I did, I had to give it up. The year that followed was the hardest of my entire life, and resulted ultimately in my decision to give up custody of one, the most needy, the one I could never find affordable help for. My heart still breaks over that decision. If only I were rich and didn’t have to work… or if or if only my employer back then had been more flexible.

Caregiving for a family member who cannot be independent is becoming a more and more common situation. It is not just about children, but also spouses, aging parents, etc. I think we need a whole new way of thinking about the workplace, and ways that more people can keep jobs (or get jobs–many people with disabilities themselves would love to find something more interesting than the couch or sheltered workshop offered to them now). We rightfully are keeping more people in the community. We need more supports to do this. And before anyone says that it’s someone else’s problem, remember this: we are all only temporarily abled.

Okay, let me get down from this soapbox now.

you don’t know the half of it!

I know that times are hard for employers, but that’s all the more reason to think twice before implementing a benefit that benefits only a handful of employees. Put your energy and resources towards those benefits that all your employees can access. I really dislike the whole “family-friendly” policy trend – what about just “people-friendly” policies? If flexible schedules are possible for parents to spend more time with their kids or leave early for a baseball game, then flexible schedules should be possible for others who want to take a class, go to yoga, whatever.

I don’t believe in Diaper Genies. I believe in nannies and outsourcing babies.