I’ve been thinking about the controversy related to Barack Hussein Obama and the etiquette of how we address one another in America — especially at work. In that vein, I have some advice.
- Don’t refer to your co-workers by their last names (surnames).
- Don’t make up a stupid nickname for a coworker.
- Don’t refer to a female co-worker by emphasizing her long, hyphenated surname.
- Don’t use a bad, fake accent when you say your co-worker’s last name.
- Don’t make hand gestures when you say your co-worker’s name.
- Don’t purposely mispronounce a co-worker’s name.
- On St. Patrick’s Day, don’t add O’ before your co-workers’ surnames.
What am I missing?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t call executives Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. + last name to pacify them. This just backfires and pushes them over the edge.
For example, “I am happy to supply you with the auditor’s report MR. DUMBASS.”
THE NAME IS DU-MAAAAAHZ!!
Uhm… this may sound obvious but considering the conduct in my office…
Don’t take the first letter of your coworkers name (L) and add “dogg” or “dawg” or whatever to it.
Okay “Lexy, have you processed the work order for BB yet?”
Not okay “Hey L-Dawg, did you process that work order for BB yet?”
If you find out that a co-worker uses a nickname at home, do not start using that nickname at work. Especially in an obnoxious tone of voice. (She was starting to make me feel like I was back in grade school again)
Do not call co-workers Mom. I have two children. I get “mom”d enough at home. Just because I am considerate, more mature and “the office counselor” (another sigh), does not mean I am Mom.
Chick, Chicka, Chicky, Sweetie, Honey- All no-nos. (add to the list if you want…)
Is Tootsie still acceptable?
hrWench: I think Mrs. & Mr. are acceptable for my friends’ parents. Other than that, I’ll just call people Bill and Jack and Susie. Or asshole.
Lexy: OMG, I hate the dawg one, too! It always reappears around the beginning of American idol. Another reason to curse FOX.
Krista: Agreed on all of those. Although I reserve the right to call people and say, “Sweetie dahhhhhhhling…” because I’m stuck in the 90s and I loved Absolutely Fabulous.
otherMe: Tootsie? No. Toots? Yes.
No nicknames! So what will I call “the anti-Elvis” (not to his face)?