I wasn’t feeling well, earlier this summer, and I blogged about it.
My clinical diagnosis was ‘tummy troubs’. Yes, I’m in fourth grade.
I really appreciate the comments on my blog, but as I navigated through the real world, I quickly discovered that no one wanted to hear about my tummy trouble. I got some feedback from a friend that talking about health is like talking about your dreams.
- It’s boring,
- it is impossible for people to understand and share the experience,
- and once you talk about diarrhea and acid reflux, there’s nowhere to go in a conversation.
In other words, talking about health problems can be perceived as a very selfish act.
Another thing I learned? Many of the people who wanted to talk about my problems were hypochondriacs who wanted to one-up me and talk about their own problems.
You have tummy trouble? I have mesothelioma.
Cheese and rice, people. It’s not a competition.
The other weird thing I discovered is that people who are very sick — cancer in the bones, debilitating arthritis, heart disease, cystic fibrosis — don’t work their illnesses into everyday conversation. Many of them approach life from a hermeneutic of wellness. Instead of taking every opportunity to outline a litany of medical tests and prescription drugs, they cherish the opportunity to go to the office, take stupid meetings, and talk about celebrity gossip.
So here’s what I learned: health issues shouldn’t be minimized, but it’s important to realize that it’s the least interesting among us who hijack a conversation and talk about health.
I’m no Debbie Downer and neither are you. Let’s take some Tums and get on with the business of life.
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So, you don’t want to hear about my sciatica?
Only if we can talk about my psoriasis.
I have had more than my share of health issues, however, I made a conscious choice to keep them mostly private. I did not want to be seen as a person with …..; I was concerned that I might be discriminated against; but most importantly I wanted people to continue to interact with me the same way they always had. The only negative that I see to this conscious choice was that people do genuninely care and feel bad that they did not know because they wanted to be able to support me.
I think these are very personal decisions. I think my issues are mediocre compared to most health problems, and I’m now embarrassed that I put it out there. I’m really just a whiner.
Awesome. I have blogged about both lately! Score another one for me.
Hey, these are just my lessons. Your lessons are different, yo!
I have a new word of the day; hermeneutic. I am going to work that into 3 confab’s by 4pm today (PST). I love setting a high bar for myself. =^.^=
LOL, I love that word more than bifurcate.
I struggle with this. Being someone with cancer, I want to be as “normal” as I can. I found it impossible to avoid discussing the topic at least peripherally when I lost my hair. Perfect strangers walk up to me and strike up conversations about cancer. I really prefer not talking about it…. but I feel an obligation to take any opportunity I can to increase awareness. My middle of the road solution is to try to put some general information out there with twitter and blogging, but not go into the personal needle-by-needle stuff with anyone except my family, friends, and select co-workers. Oh, and I have used twitter on treatment days because my friends and family asked me to. But I do try to keep things positive and pretty general. I’m an introvert, so it’s sometimes hard to share; but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hide what was happening from people around me. I made the decision early on to be frank when asked about my condition. So far I’ve tried to keep each conversation general, short, and end it on the most important point to me: I’m still here, I plan on staying here, and life is good. Enjoy it.
Okay, you have cancer. I have problems with my duodenum. You are brave. I am gassy.
I’m not even in your league. Please share with us and I’ll shut up!!
I like talking about health problems. It gives me an excuse to wear muu-muu’s and drink boxed wine. Not to mention that you know who your real friends are when you can laugh about running to the bathroom 5 minutes after you eat.
But no health talk at work. Unless you need FMLA or disability benefits, I don’t want to know.
My pal Willy Franzen says that no one can talk health problems/poop like a bunch of HR women. It’s so true.
My mother kept quiet about her misdiagnosed “irritable bowel syndrome”. A year later, turned out to be adrenal cancer and it had already ravaged her body beyond any treatment. If she had more converstions about it, would. She had found more info ?? Who knows– but the moral of the story is– second and third opinions!!!
Oh crap. You gotta fight for your health, yo!
Whether or not you can talk about your health problems in a blog really depends on your audience. If you are running a health blog or highlighting your struggle with a current condition, you have likely branded your blog on the basis of that content. For that target audience, your health isn’t nearly as boring as it might be were your blog about fast cars or the latest technology.
Well that’s true. Context is key. But my REAL life feedback was the feedback that told me to be quiet.
I very much disliked it when one of my workers talked about having diarrhea or some kind of cold. As a manager in the foodservice industry, I am supposed to send that person home (even though the affected person might want to work). Hm, I never did send anyone home for a runny nose, but did feel guilty about it sometimes.
I don’t blame you!!
Working in HR, you tend to get far too many random opportunities for TMI in the health category. Uggh. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, someone comes along and springs a new one on you!
I’m as compassionate and empathetic as possible, BUT I’m not a psychiatrist, physician or pharmacist and don’t make nearly enough $ to hear about all of your bodily functions or personal drama.
No need to elaborate on your symptoms and diagnosis, just let me know if you need FMLA paperwork, the first aid kit, 911 called, or some other “help” that I can facilitate. Otherwise, for everyone’s sake keep the extra details private and out of the workplace.
BTW: on a separate (health) note, the vag-swag video was mighty impressive!
I don’t want to brag, but my dreams are pretty awesome[ly crazy and weird]. Just sayin’ – real entertaining stuff sometimes.
Hhm. A topic of interest to me. I was diagnosed with a chronic disease 2 years ago. I have kept it to myself at work except for my immediate supv. I only told him because I need to be out for 2 hours a month for infusions. He was understanding and kind. But I worry about others finding out. It’s hard enoiugh being a woman without the additional disadvantage of being a “sick” one. Plus this is a disease that is traditionally thought of as being a disease of age, although it is not. Old and sick?: Yeah that’s a high demand profile
Oh and sick days? One since diagnosis. Go me!
Guess that’s the problem with the way we have conversations in social media, there’s a false sense of intimacy that creates the feeling that you’re talking to someone face to face, when in reality it’s being blasted out on to the internet for the world to see. So when you think, what equates to telling your roommate or close friend you’re not feeling good, is actually the same as telling all your work colleges/everyone and anyone who comes across it. And that is when becomes different and possibly inappropriate. But as with anything context is key.
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