Because it’s Friday — and because I promised HR Minion that I would blog about it — here are my top 3 most embarrassing moments as a Punk Rock HR Generalist.
- 2001: I ran out of a meeting to use the bathroom. I washed my hands. As I left the restroom, I smelled my hands (yes) only to make sure the weird, foamy soap worked its magic. I looked up and saw a group of employees laughing at me.
- 2006: I was in my car, in a parking lot, using my rear view mirror to examine & pick at a zit on my face. I looked up and saw two of my clients staring at me in disgust.
- 2000: I saw a co-worker get into a snowball fight in the parking lot. I sent him an email that said, “Hey, snow bunny, you looked mighty cute in the parking lot.” Unfortunately, I sent the email to most of the company. My reputation took an immediate hit and he was referred to as ’snow bunny’ after that incident by most of his peers.
So yeah — I haven’t always been a classy, elegant, thoughtful, and gracious broad like I am today.
Your turn. What are your embarrassing work stories, yo?
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
A long time ago, I testified at a workers’ compensation hearing. Using my deep knowledge of physical work demands, I was having my way with the claimant’s attorney and throwing around some 50 cent words. The court reporter, whom I had not noticed until this moment, stopped me to clarify a word. I looked over at the reporter and froze.
The court reporter was the nude model in my figure drawing class I attended the night before. And, for the life of me, my mind would not budge from her tattoo, distinct in both design and location. I blushed, choked and babbled my way through the attorney’s remaining questions. All the while, the reporter was shooting dark glances at me that seemed to say, “Get your doo-doo together before you embarrass BOTH of us.”
Our corporate attorney was baffled. I think we may have received a favorable ruling from the hearing. But, I was not invited to testify, again.
Ben out!
Left the bathroom with my skirt tucked into my
underwear in the back. I work with all women so
it could have been worse.
I was a crime and courts reporter covering the recovery of a drowned man. As we’re standing there looking at the tragic scene, which includes a coroner’s vehicle, I turn to the photographer and say, “Where are the ambulances?” It was a brain fart moment that he never, ever let me live down – even when he was handling the family photos on my wedding day.
Dude, I always smell my hands after I wash them if I’m in a public restroom. I want to see if my hands are going to smell like nasty soap or nice, fresh, clean soap. I thought that was normal.
My most recent embarrassing moment: Giving a speech to 70 Organizational Development Executives, I was talking about the Perceiving Preference, which most people just shorten to “P” preference. I said “Your P-ness may show when…” and then realized how that sounded out loud and got the uncontrollable giggles during the next 10 minutes of the speech.
At a past company, when I was new to the corporate world and a lot more informal at work, I was in a meeting with some co-workers and a group from a different department trying to put together process flows. One of my co-workers said something I didn’t agree with and I (jokingly, I thought) said “Don’t make me come over there and smack you!” Needless to say the other group was not amused, thought I was really upset, and possibly violent. That was a fun conversation to have with my boss later. And thus HR Minion learned the value of having a work persona that doesn’t say the first thing that pops into her head.
I’ve always tried to maintain strong separation between my work life and my stand up life. However I was going to be performing at the Improv and the local alternative newspaper did a very flattering piece on me, and it was soon circulated throughout the company. Now mind you, I like to consider my comedy as something anyone can enjoy, I am not a vicious comic, so there was no concern with my 2nd job effecting my 1st job. However, a large group from the office came out to see my first set, and I was doing a bit about fireworks accidents, essentially equating loosing a finger in a firework accident as a form a natural selection, when all of a sudden a see a 4 fingered hand shoot up into the air. Attached to the hand was our VP of Sales. I’ve never had a problem with hecklers, and have always maintained my composure on stage (even whem bombing), but this time I was just caught so off guard. The punch line killed every other set, but it was dead silence that night, and let me tell you no one was even comforatable enough to laugh at my slack jawed expression and certainly not at my stuttering recover.
The good news he loved the set, and only held up his hand, because he thought it would be funny…
I love dried apricots. Once I start eating them I can’t stop. One morning I was late for work and didn’t have time to get my usual bowl o’ fiber (oatmeal) from the cafeteria. I had a 1-lb bag of dried apricots in my desk like it was my job. Later on in the day, I had to excuse myself in the middle of interviewing a candidate because the dried apricots worked a little too well. Nuff said. I of course acted like it was totally normal for the interviewer to take a bio break in the middle of an interview.
and ATE THEM like it was my job.
Eons ago, when I was just out of school interviewing for jobs in the DC area, I had just finished what I thought had been a pretty polished performance with a small consulting firm in Mclean, Va. The firm was located in one of those town-house style office parks. My car was parked directly in front of the firm’s town-house office so you would of had a great view from the picture window in the company’s reception area. My embarrassment? I locked my keys in the car and this quickly became evident to my interviewers who came out to help me do the coat-hanger thing on the old boat of a Buick I was driving at the time. They were great. Really helpful and kind, but perhaps needless to say I didn’t get an offer.
When I was an intern, I just traveled back from San Diego from a SHRM Conference and felt okay when I arrived back in DC and thought I can head back at work. I was okay then and when I came back, the company was holding it’s annual party. Then right before the event, I crashed and started to hit the jet lag. I was putting up the gifts to workers. Then the fun begins. At the middle of the event, when I was putting up the gift on the table, the gift fell to the ground. In the gift basket, there was jewelry, tech stuff, and a bottle. I probably broke it and saw the audience and I said to myself, “OH CRAP!!!”. What’s worst, I took a nap at the event and I was trying so hard to wake up, but couldn’t do it.
Two things I learned:
1. Take an extra day off when your flight arrives in the morning. Hey, I was young and it was first trip outside teh DC area…ever.
2. Get drugged before going to an airport so you can sleep.
Although that was the most embarrassing moment in my short working career, it’s still the best working experience I went and still visit the company from time to time.
First recruiter, brand new manufacturing facility – I sent an email to about 30 senior members of our leadership team (including the CEO and his direct reports) with a major typo. Because we were a start up and under construction the first year working together – we were pretty informal. I sent them an email that insteading of saying something like “don’t sit on a log”, I said “don’t s#it on a a log”. In three years – I never lived it down.
In the first week of my first real deal HR job, I was trying to figure out the HRIS system and my boss, the VP of HR, asked me to take a look at the salary structure and compensation of a certain group of employees. Well, I pulled up the information in this antiquated system from the 1980s and kept typing in the
I hired a gal who I graduated from high school with. (Actually, the hiring manager interviewd hired her, all I did at that former job was the indoctrination et al.)
Anyway, she brings in our high school year book. The other gals made copies of the page with my picture and I spent the day signing yearbooks, all over again.
@Ben So funny.
@Lissa I’ve seen this happen, akshully.
@Breanne Your royal p-ness. I love it.
@Hayli OMG, nice.
@HR Minion Ah, I’ve learned that lesson, too!
@Jimmy Your luck is horrible!
@ICANHASLINDA There were some people who were on the payroll just to be gassy, I’m sure.
@Chuck Worst. Timing. Evah. to lock your keys in the car!
@Tracy You were a train wreck!
@Kim Don’t shit on a log? Love that.
@Bryan Way to be all confidential & stuff.
@RMS That’s cute, akshully.
1993 – as my obligatory email screw up: in my university job as a research assistant at a cancer hospital, I copied the department on a message that observed that the medical chief of staff was the spitting image of Mr. Burns on the Simpsons.
2003 – Newly back from mat leave with a large food company, I was reporting to the COO on a large merger integration initiative. I had sausaged myself into a pre-pregnancy suit for my first executive meeting – it was a two hour in and out so I thought I could pull it off. On the way up in the elevator I dropped something and when I bent down my middle blouse button pinged off and the zipper on my pants broke. The doors opened and there was the COO who smiled and said
Back in college I worked part time at a video rental store. One day one of my old profs walked up to the counter I was working at. I recognized him immediately and greeted him. I had loved his class and told him what a great experience it was. Then I looked down and saw that he was renting a stack of about five porn flicks. Suddenly I understood why he seemed so quiet in response to my praise.
the russian tech guy, dominic, was always sweet shy & awkward around me.
one day something went awry with my compie and i called him over to check it out.
he sat down at my desk and started to work the keyboard. “I NEED YOUR PUSSY, uhhhhh, PASSWORD,” he said, and immediately turned a shade of crimson.
we froze for a moment.
i gave him my password and we both pretended it never happened.
@ODguru LOL, so funny.
@Sinfanti Gross!
@Cols You may be the first person to write PUSSY on my blog. I’m glad it was you.
My most embarrassing HR moment was when I fell and broke my right foot five minutes into an interview. I was wearing flats and I tripped. The worst part? Instead of saying “I’m sorry I just broke my foot and need to go to hospital” I went on with the interview and did a terrible job. Damn you Kenneth Cole shoes.