My inbox is full of messages from freaked out readers who can’t find jobs. The influx of panic always corresponds to the release of monthly unemployment numbers.
- At the beginning of each month, the media freaks us out and reports on our bleak job prospects.
- As the month wanes, we grow accustomed to our ‘new norm’ as we find comfort in the fact that so many people around us are unemployed. It’s okay, we tell ourselves. Things will work out.
- Then a new month springs up and we freak out again.
What’s worse is that this month’s news was accompanied by the sad news that you may never go back to work in your chosen career field. There are jobs available in nursing, engineering and green energy — but you’re working in telecommunications, Human Resources, or maybe an administrative field. The existing jobs in Corporate America are few and far between.
Believe me, I understand why people are freaking out. I grew up in a lower-middle-class family in the 80s, and we felt the effect of Reagan’s recession until Clinton was in office. I know firsthand — you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. In my opinion, the best way to get through this recession is to hustle. Thankfully, I’ve learned a few lessons in my life to help you hustle your way through the good times & the bad.
- It’s okay to shut off your telephone to avoid bill collectors. You know you owe money. Your kids know you owe money. The entire world knows you owe money. Why do you need the hassle of a telephone call to remind you that you’re broke as hell? Turn off the phone and use the money you’d spend on a land line for something else — like paying your bills.
- It’s not unethical to file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy before things get too bad — but the key is to file early before your life is out of control. People will tell you not to file bankruptcy because it ruins your credit. Guess what? Not paying your bills ruins your credit, too. If you have excessive consumer debt, you probably don’t need credit for the next seven years, anyway. You need relief. The same people who tell you not to file bankruptcy are the same men & women who urge companies to file bankruptcy to reorganize and consolidate debt. I hate that kind of hypocrisy. If you’re loaded down with excessive consumer debt, talk to a lawyer and don’t let the moral issues get in the way of a smart financial decision. [The one caveat: once you file for bankruptcy, learn some lessons from my family and stop spending money so you don't have to file for bankruptcy twice. That's just wrong.]
- Earn money wherever you can. Take surveys, donate blood, and accept quick cash for simple activities that you would normally do for free. I’m a big believer in bartering, too, and you can technically earn money by swapping services with someone in your social circle.
- When someone offers you something for nothing, say yes. I’m not talking about Nigerian internet scams. I’m advising you to say YES to free meals, free groceries, free babysitting, free utilities, free legal advice, and energy assistance. You’re too proud to accept assistance? Okay, fine, but pride doesn’t feed the dog and pay the bills. If you have a need, someone is willing to help. Use Google and type in your need + assistance + your zip code. Call United Way, Salvation Army, and your local church. Still have a job and think you don’t qualify for assistance? You’re wrong. There is help out there even if you have a job but can’t pay all of your bills.
Finally, I’ll give you advice that’s been given to me by many people in my family: fuck this shit.
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but surrender to the chaos, accept your reality, and eat a bag of potato chips. You aren’t less of a person because you can’t find a job in this economy. You are only less of a person if you categorize yourself as a victim, wallow in self-pity, and forget how to hustle.
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Dude – good stuff
I puffy heart you, Laurie.
Sage advice, Laurie. Always amazes me how someone who jets all over the country to go to these big conferences has such a pulse on us bottom feeder folk. I am not unemployed but certainly am in the ranks of those hounded by bill collectors. I try to humble myself with each call I get by thinking, well, that person that is calling is at least lucky to have a job, even if they are buggin’ the shit outa me!
BZ
You are so right. I think we’ve all been affected in one way or another this past year+(loss of job, spouse loss of job, loss in pay, loss of coworkers, etc.) – but it doesn’t mean it’s OK to just accept the situation. It’s really an opportunity to stand out. Hustle, as you say. It’s OK to do things you might not have ever considered doing before – like shutting off your phone. Trade, barter, etc.
Love the honesty. Keep it coming!
Great advice….especially the “f–k this s–t”.
Some of my story: I was a single mom with two kids AND no job AND lots of bill collectors calling to get money for the bills my dear ex-husband left. In those days they didn’t have rules about harassing people to collect nor did they care they weren’t my bills. I was being tormented by them and stayed up nights worrying.
My dad gave me advice that worked for me. He and my mom were used to making do on very little with 4 kids. He said “The next time a bill collector calls tell them “Look, I put all my bills in a hat every month, shake it up and pull out a couple to pay. If you don’t stop harassing me I won’t put yours in the hat”. That was my “f—k it” and it worked. I stopped worrying about what the mean bill collectors were going to do to me and started focusing on a job search and my kids. I’m still here….they didn’t come and take me away and it eventually worked out.
You can’t get blood from a turnip or a stone or a broke out of work mom. If you can’t do it you can’t do it. Find another way and don’t be afraid to take whatever measures you can to climb out of your hole…legally of course.
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Wow Laurie! Excellent! Do you know the children’s book Stone Soup? It was one of my favorites growing up. All about how a village found a new sense of community by throwing their meager food into a communal pot (in retrospect I see that it might have been a parable for socialism, but that’s another topic altogether). So I’d like to propose we use your post as the stock for stone soup and invite your other readers add a turnip or carrot to the pot of ideas on how to get through this time.
Here’s my turnip: Stay far far far away from people who judge you. Keep close those who continue to respect you, no matter what your employment situation is. There are people who only feel good about themselves by making sure you’re painted in the loser’s corner. And a condition of their support is that you assume that role, so they will always have someone to feel superior than. There are others who will respect you even if you’re living in a refrigerator box. Those are the ones who continue to see your potential and will talk you back into the world of self-actualization. The first group? It wouldn’t matter if you won the Nobel or Pulitzer. You’ll still be that sad story. Nuts to ‘em.
A-freakin-men.
Especially the last part. Sometimes, your situation sucks, and you’re doing everything you can, and it’s not working. At that point, you have to keep doing everything you need to…but you also have to stop beating the crap out of yourself. That isn’t helping; it’s just weakening you.
You can’t travel back in time and do stuff differently. You can’t believe people who tell you it’s your fault you’re unemployed because you have a bad attitude or you picked the wrong font or you wore the wrong outfit to the interview. You have to do the things that make sense, and then go read a book or watch TV or play with your kids.
This too shall pass. We got through the revolution, and the Civil War, and the Great Depression, and the sixties. We’ll get through this too.
Awesome post, Laurie.
I’m not in “the ranks of those hounded by bill collectors” like BZTAT, but I have been unemployed for 16 months in Detroit-Flint, which has the highest unemployment rate in the country. The only reason I’m NOT scrambling to feed my dogs is because my husband works. I just quit buying shoes.
Here’s my shallot for the pot (remember, hubby works so I can still buy things like shallots); it’s closely related to Martha’s turnip: don’t let people sympathize and whine and bitch about YOUR situation. I always tell people who think they are being supportive that I am working my butt off looking for work, my dogs and I are not starving, I have medical insurance and a roof over my head, so don’t cry for me, Argentina. There are LOTS of other people out there who don’t have these things – go help them.
Sign up for aid (welfare) if you qualify, you paid into the system so use it. There is no shame in getting help, only in abusing it. Rid yourself of payments, downsize that hummer to something you can afford to drive. An alternative to “fuck this shit” is the serenity prayer..
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
If neither of those work, drink heavily.
John
Nice work dude, truly nice!
I know the job market sucks, and I’m not into shameless plugging, but I will say we have over 300 jobs around the U.S. right now. http://www.schwansjobs.com.
A little off topic maybe but will a good or bad credit score mean anything in the next few years?
a village found a new sense of community by throwing their meager food into a communal pot (in retrospect I see that it might have been a parable for socialism, but that’s another topic altogether)
Nah. Only socialism if the government is forcing you to do it. Imagine soldiers with guns going house to house demanding you show them your food and forcing you to bring it to the pot. That’s socialism.
Voluntary sharing is charity, concern for your fellow human being and a moral imperative.
I’m fortunate. Hubby got laid off earlier this year, but fortunately found something else within a few months. Certainly our earnings this year will be half of what they were last year (sometimes being on commission really sucks), but it is what it is. We’re thankful for what we have. When we’re feeling a little low, we remind ourselves that there are so many more out there who would trade places with us in a heartbeat.
If you are facing bankruptcy please remember that you can’t buy your way out. Stop all unnecessary spending. Ask yourself if your dogs really need to go to daycare or can they manage at home on their own? – Sorry, true story of a friend who’s in dire straights, but still spends.
This too shall pass.
Temp jobs will come back several months before perm jobs do. Latest numbers show that beginning to happen. They may not have work in your field, but more likely to have something to help keep the wolves away.
The number one thing I learned in my first round of college was
1. how to say, “fuck this shit”
2. to mean it
3. to move past it
Thanks for the link!
Now THAT is some kick ass, punk rock, dead on advice. On every single point. Been there, came back, hope to never go back again. But you never really know!
HEY HRPuFNSTuF!
You with Schwans? If so, I’d love to talk with you on the side. I have a cherished story I’d love to tell you about a childhood memory that I have about Schwans. I HEART Schwans in a huge way!
No job? Unemployment running out? Get your hustle on. Teach yourself something new, like web design or woodworking. Sign up at multiple temp agencies. Sell stuff like used books, clothes and cds. Volunteer your services, keeping your eye out for potential paying customers. Teach a class. Babysit. Get a holiday retail job. In college I used to DJ at the campus bar — on Tues and Weds — when nobody cared that I was a bad DJ. I didn’t care, it paid $50 a night. After college I had this sucky job that I quit in a most dramatic fashion — then signed up at several temp agencies. I took a couple assignments, negotiating work hours. I made more money that year, had more fun, learned more new skills. Hustling is hard and requires an upbeat attitude and mental agility. But hustling is better than wallowing, so don’t wallow.
You know what’s cool about being in the job market shit-box? Meeting someone with a bigger shovel and a deeper hole. Eat your chips, watch some TV and kick your feet up. And then find a friend who needs an ear and invite them over to share the bag.
The worse thing you can do is rock gently in front of your browser wondering when a miracle is going to happen. Use your community because some day (soon) they’ll need you.
@martha finney – I do, you can reach me at whatsapufnstufATgmail.com
Get out of debt any way you can! After I spent years digging out of post-college loan and credit card debt and about a year and some change of unemployment, I started saving without thinking about it (meaning splitting my payroll deposit between checking and savings so I didn’t even have to think about actively saving). This economy can beat me up, but it can’t completely kick my ass because those measly few bucks per month ($30? $40? sometimes $100 if I worked OT) I started saving 12 years ago now mean that I can take care of myself for a good while if I do lose my job. And I’m just your average plebian corporate employee paid below median since I’m HR! But I’m experiencing a fairly awesome sense of empowerment knowing I can likely outlast this beastly economy and it can’t take my house away from me. So, ha ha, I WIN! So when this ship turns around, get your victorious attitude on about not letting the economy get you ever again in the future.
My job is hanging by a thread at the moment, and if I have to change careers, so be it! If companies decide that outsourcing their HR functions is the wave of the future, fine and whatever. I’ll learn to do something else because I’m awesome, and so is everybody else. Just be real with yourself on your strengths and weaknesses, eat a boatload of chocolate chips cookies as a ritual exorcism of self-pity, and then be awesome (not prideful or arrogant, just simply awesome).
And turn off the news! I’m so sick of all of them. They give you a glimmer of good news, followed by a but. “Home sales are up…but that’s only because of the credit for first-time buyers.” “The stock market is up…but it’s likely only a blip.” Oh SHUT IT. I watch reruns of Anthony Bourdain and King of Queens instead of any news now.
Fantastic post, Laurie. Everything in here is spot-on.
You make a good point, too, about the hypocrisy with which some people treat personal vs. a company bankruptcy — both of them are business decisions and are sometimes the most financially rational thing to do, yet the former is treated as a moral failing while the latter is written off as just being fiscally prudent.
Job seekers … take Laurie’s advice … take advantage of free stuff that offered to you.
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Do it now!
Where I’m from, there’s an old saying that’s as spot on as your advice– ((must say with southern drawl)).
“When things get tough, you can always shovel horseshit.”
I like that one– and have shoveled horseshit, btw.
Nicely done, Lady. If more people would stay stuff like this, fewer people would be sitting home wallowing in their “secret shame.” They might actually feel the spark of confidence to talk to others about it and help each other move forward.
I love the part about playing the victim card. Stop doing it and move on. Same thing could be be said for HR pros stuck in this mode too.
@Michael Thanks. Loved you on FOTv!
@Angela Oh shucks, thanks.
@BZ 1. I’m a bottom-feeder. Trust me. 2. I wish those collections specialists could do something else. I had a family member in tremendous debt and the collection agency kept calling me at my office @ Pfizer and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to tell them that my family member had a gun AND the collection agency’s address. Then they stopped calling me. It was offensive. I’m a distant relative, but they wanted their cash.
@Ginger Thanks. I love the idea of bartering. I wish I knew a massage therapist who needs career advice.
@Fran I love the hat analogy. Honest to god, debt collectors are supposed to operate under rules but don’t. I know how stressful those calls can be because I’ve experienced it. Thanks but no thanks. Who wants that kind of life? I hope people out there will do what they can to ensure it never happens again in their lives.
@Martha I love the stone soup analogy but I hate turnips unless they are in stew and covered up by meaty flavor. That being said, your turnip is awesome. Thank you. Also, I’ll introduce you to HRPuf via Facebook.
@Kerry Thank god the 60s are over. Can someone please tell the Baby Boomers? If I hear one more Vietnam/Afghanistan comparison, I’m going to vomit. I know there’s a parallel, so to speak, but there’s a Vietnam parallel to every war we enter. Why does everything have to be about Vietnam, Watergate, and The Beatles? [oh am I ranting?]
@Joan I love it. Own your situation. When you own it, you can fix it. That’s the biggest form of empowerment.
@JohnC I love the serenity prayer and I’m an atheist. It’s so good. Also, you’re right about the credit score. I think our credit standards will change after we’re done with this mess.
@Puf Dude, I will be singing the praises of Schwans at my next couple ‘o keynotes.
@Class We can agree on charity. Absolutely.
@Kimberley Great reminder. You don’t need fresh highlights if you can’t buy groceries. (I’m just saying… not to anyone in particular… or am I?)
@OldMan I’m going to sing the praises of temp agencies, too. After all, isn’t every job temporary??
@Jenn FUCK THIS SHIT. (Your new blog is awesome. I just love it so much.)
@Susanne Thank you. Means so much that you write that!
@Peopleshark 1. You need to do a session at Kennedy/Onrec on how to hustle. 2. You DJ’d? Of course you did. I bet it was great. 3. Wanna DJ at my fail party in Chicago?! Old school Chicago hip hop? Oh yeah. Tell me you’ll think about it.
@Stelzner I want to use shit-box on a regular basis. That’s my favorite new word.
@H.Aria Things. 1. Your job is hanging by a thread? When you’re ready to look, connect with me on LinkedIn and I’ll help you. I know people. 2. You’re right about the news. Holy crap. 3. I wish more people could save. I wish I could save more money. It’s so hard when we’re so focused on buying useless shit and propping up the economy of China.
@Tim Q: What’s the difference between a moral failing and a rationally prudent action? A: Good lawyers. Fuckers.
@Marilyn There you go. Free ad. You got it.
@JulieO Thanks. I just read an article about middle-class professionals who are proactively defaulting on their mortgages. I was in shock. Is this what we’ve come to in America? Why aren’t we talking about it? Craziness.
@Lance Oh no, wait, I’m a victim in HR.
Again, have I told you that I love you?
PS – I work at a Temporary Agency and one of their slogans from year’s past was “Life is a Temporary Assignment” they killed it [haha] because people thought it was too morbid…I think it’s funny as heck
Hell, now with all your SEO bonanza, Laurie, those bill collectors are probably going to find me lurking on your blog. My gig maybe up.
This is the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in a long time.
Thanks, Laurie! I’ll definitely take you up on that offer if it comes to that, as I’m totally addicted to buying useless shit and supporting the Chinese economy (hence my need to trick myself into saving).
@Low 1. Thank you. 2. I think that’s kind of witty. Too bad!
@BZ Good lord. Those comments. Wow.
@Phillip Wow, thank you for saying a nice thing to me in return.
@H.Aria You got it. I just dropped money at Target on random crap and I need you as my savings coach.
Awesome post. Thanks for the boost, and the encouragement to keep hustling. As a somewhat related aside: From someone who’s always had trouble managing money coming in vs. money going out, but who’s fortunate to still have a job, using a simple Excel spreadsheet as a forecasting check register has been a lifesaver, even if just figuring out which bill I can put off a little longer to make ends meet this week. Why I never figured that out years ago is a mystery, but it’s helping to make playing catch-up more manageable.
I agree with John C. Sign up for social programs within your state. You will be surprised as to how much additional money a family can receive if they just took the time to apply. I run a website called http://WWW.WERQIN.COM and within the forum section, you can look up your state and see what type of social programs are available to you. Also, check out the group section for information, resources, tutorials, coupon and much, much more to assist you in your day to day life.
Good luck to all those seeking employment!!
Laurie, you are the best. Went through brief period of UE this summer after working my cahones off for my company…blah, blah, blah. Worked my butt off again trying to find work…wish I had read this type of advice then…it’s all good now, but I for damn sure want to be a resource for friends, family and acquaintances going through this. I’m already forwarding. Thanks!!!
If you’re gonna blame “Regan” for the 80′s recession, at least spell his name right. (Psst – it was Carter’s who started it, not Reagan.)
@Icepick I’m just like you — I used an excel spreadsheet until I realized that it wasn’t a management problem on my part. It was a problem of choices.
@Peter Thanks for the resource.
@Johnny Thanks!
@CmonNow Hey, I can’t afford an editor in this recession.
An old Jewish joke, as told by an ex-boss.
Harry is lying in bed fretting, tossing and turning and unable to sleep. His wife finally says to him “What’s up? Why aren’t you asleep?”
Harry says “I don’t know what to do. I owe Joe over the road a hundred quid and I don’t know how to pay him back. He wants the money tomorrow and I don’t have it. What am I going to do?”
His wife says “Leave it to me.” She opens the bedroom window and yells out “Joe! Joe! Open the window! I need to talk to you!”
A couple of minutes pass, and finally Joe opens his window. “What is it? What’s so important it can’t wait til morning?”
“Listen!” she shouts. “Harry owes you a hundred quid. He has to pay it back to you tomorrow, but he hasn’t got the money.”
She shuts the window and goes back to bed. “Did you sort it out?” asks Harry. “No, but now Joe’s going to worry about it, so you don’t have to. Go to sleep.”
(My) moral of the story: try to pass on the worry of not having the money to your creditors. At least you might be able to relax and sleep at night.
@Clare I love it. Thank you!
Reagan caused the 80′s recession? Glad i don’t read this blog for facts….
BTW, I know how we can get out of this recession quicker, how about the government STOPS SPENDING MONEY on unnecessary shit, you think its bad now, wait until the new healthcare bill passes..
@L Yes, Paul Volker’s aggressive actions helped to flatten inflation from Jimmy Carter (who inherited a crappy economy from Nixon/Ford) — but Reagan’s cuts to federal programs + increase in defense spending + the aggravation of our national debt mired us in a recession in the early 80s. That’s just history. So how about you stop driving on roads + getting sick and having subpar insurance + using police officers for protection + flying airplanes + supporting the military in Iraq and Afghanistan and then maybe we can stop spending money on unnecessary shit.
You rely on your corporate welfare state that lies to us about the free market. I’ll rely on my own ingenuity and the federal government.
The number one factor accounting for double-digit increases in the average length of unemployment is the reliance on job boards.
Laurie,
wow, so refreshingly to the point! I was pointed to your blog from Keppie Careers. I have been out of work for 17 months in Philadelphia, PA. I spent the 1st 6 months struggling to pay my car payment hoping a new job was on the horizon. I finally faced facts and turned it in, through the help of family purchased a used auto. Now with no car payment and just liability car insurance I am barely keeping my head above water–but it is above for now. I believe I am on my last unemployment extension with 3 checks left –I AM FREEKING OUT!
It is good that you are putting advice and encouragement out there. It drives me crazy when friends and family ask me if I tried this company or this place is hiring, I know they mean well but it insinuates that YOU must be doing something wrong that you can’t find a job
You ROCK! Keep “Telling it Like it IS!”
I will not let being unemployed define me!
Great advice! I had to reconcile with the fact that having a pile full of coupons at the grocery store was really ok!