You knew this was coming after my nightmare in London. Tell me about your worst vacation or business trip.
I was standing at security at Newark, the other day, and a man asked me about my trip. He said, “You look horrible. Are you okay?”
I told him that I was having a difficult experience — but I was on my way home to my wonderful husband and cats. I asked him how his travels were going. Are you on vacation? Going someplace fun? Somewhere warm & sunny?
He said, “I’m en route from Edinborough to Toronto to testify in a lawsuit. This is the third time. My wife and I vacationed along Lake Ontario, last year. She was walking along the lake in the morning, tripped, broke her cheekbone, rolled into the water. She drowned. Now I’m locked in a lawsuit. We are arguing about the value of her life. I hope this is my last trip to Canada.”
Holy shit. I offered my condolences and we said goodbye.
So how about you? Had a bad vacation? Messed up travel plans? Missing passports or IDs? Anyone die?
Give me your worst stories, yo.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Traveling from Cinci to LA for a cousin’s wedding. Forecast for departure was thunderstorms and tornado watch. We arrived at the airport hoping everything would hold off, but we would not be so lucky. Thunderstorm warning, then tornado warning, and evacuation from the terminal. Arrive in LA six hours late and rental car was no longer available. After another exhausting wait we finally got a car. Off to the house we were staying in. The house was owned by a friend of the cousin. I was prepared to have to sleep on a couch, but again would not be so lucky. The house was vacant!!!! Since I had already been up for 24 hours the opportunity to just crash on the floor was fine with me.
The wedding was a blast. We took in some sights on Hollywood Blvd and Rodeo Drive. Drove through some of the beautiful canyons on the way to Ventura and the beach.
Before Mrs. Puf was Mrs. Puf, we took a long weekend in D.C. She came down on Thursday evening, I was in town for work, but would be done at noon on Friday, so Friday morning she was on her own, but we were in a hotel overlooking the capital, so no worries on the neighborhood. I got back to the hotel at noon to get her and she told me there was a dude that just checked in and was giving her the willies by starring at her, but he left. Creeps stare at my wife a lot, so we left and went about our day. We came back after dinner to change for our evening out (night tour of the monuments), and we heard whoever was in the room next to us just mumbling very loudly, and barely taking a breath, it was in endless stream. We left, had a great evening, came back to the room and went to bed. At about 3am we heard loud popping in the hallway, not like gun shots, but loud. I opened the door to see what was going on. There were several dudes in the hall in U.S. Marshal windbreakers going into the room next to us. One dude just turned and motioned for me to go back in the room, which I promptly did. I told the future Mrs. Puf what I saw and the the Marshal’s clearly had everything in hand and went back to sleep. Poor future Mrs. Puf wanted to know what was going on, called the front desk and they just told her to stay in her room and get a good night sleep.
The next day the we could find no news or info on last night events until later in the day. We had returned to the hotel and the gal working the desk told us what had happened:
A dude had violently killed his young daughter in North Carolina, hopped on a plane to D.C. and was staying in the room next to us. Because he had used credit cards the Marshal’s had no problem finding him and apprehending him.
So staying next to a crazy killer was my worst vacation.
I had a weekend trip to Vegas planned for friends’ wedding in autumn 2004. Oh yeah that was the year FL had four hurricanes and three passed through the Orlando area. I was going back to Chicago to visit my parents for one day, so my flight from MCO to ORD was booked and I was scheduled for a 3pm flight. Francis decides to stay stationary off the coast of FL, but the officials still closed MCO at 12pm on the day of my flight. So I stewed all evening as the storm did NOT come ashore and the weather was awesome and finally had the brilliant idea at 2:30am to call United and ask if ANY airports in FL were operating still. They told me Tampa was opened but may close mid day if the storm moved closer, but I could get on a 6am flight to Chicago. I drove from Orlando to Tampa, tried to sleep for 1 hour in my car in the airport parking garage (scary), and then hopped a flight to Chicago.
My flight from ORD to Vegas was the next day and I was traveling with friends. It was scheduled to leave in the early eve, however we were offered seats on a flight that left approx 75 minutes earlier. I turned that offer down because I had OTHER friends travelling from Seattle to Orlando and would be in O’Hare at the same time as me and I thought it’d be nice for us all to catch dinner together. We had a wonderful dinner and my Illinois friends & Florida friends got along great. We go to get on our original booked flight…delayed…4 hours! ugh! Shoulda took the earlier offer!!
So we get to Vegas, its after 1:45am, airport is dead. Wait 20 minutes for a cab. We stayed at Bally’s and we got there about 2:30am. Charles and I had a room booked. We check in and come to find out that our room was given away…BUT…they could give us a top floor 2-story suite instead, same price. Nice! We’re gonna look like high rollers with swagger. Man, in the end, the trouble of getting there…all worth it, right!?
We got to the room and it only had 1 king-sized bed.
Hey Laurie,
So sorry to hear of your misadventures in London! But pick-pocketing/purse grabbing is a huge problem in Europe. My mother-in-law got her wallet expertly snuck out of her purse on a subway ride in Paris. We were heading to England and when we stopped off at Gare du Nord and she went to get her wallet- it was gone. Thank goodness her passport was in a different part of her bag or we would’ve been in a bigger mess.
In London as well my mother-in-law’s husband almost got his laptop stolen! He looked away for one second while INSIDE the hotel storing away luggage and his bag went missing. Thank God for the doorman who scared the thief off and he dropped the bag and ran!
the short version: In my favorite city but with a psycho mother . . . she leaves, I go see my dad. Walk in to see his “chemo bald” head and find out that he had pancreatic cancer. They had known since April; it was Labor Day and they hadn’t told me.
yeah. that about topped it. I always think of the Schoolhouse Rock “Unpack your adjectives” song. She had a bad vacation too!
When I was 12 or 13 my family returned to Hershey, PA for one of our favorite vacation spots. We always camped at Hershey’s campground and rode the “happy bus” back and forth from the park. Because of this convenience, my dad agreed to ride the wettest of the parks water rides with me. After a great afternoon getting SOAKED my mom, dad, baby sister and myself take the happy bus back to the camground to change our clothes, grab a bite to eat and relax before returning to the park. My dad decides while we’re all changing to make a fire (why? we’ll never know- we weren’t going to be around that long). Suddenly we hear lots of swearing and run out of the tent to find my dad with his hand in a bucket full of bloody water. He had knicked a tendon while trying to chop fire wood. So we rush to the front desk of the campground and get directions to the nearest hospital. We get there quickly and find the ER to be FREEZING with out of control A/C. The medical students (it’s a teaching hospital) take my dad in back and my mom waits with me and my baby sister. Suddenly we hear people rushing by and freaking out. Turns out, my dad starts shivering (he’s still in his soaked clothes) and they mistake it for him going into shock. After he convinces them he’s just freezing, they calm down and proceed to go overkill, giving him a hard plater cast, almost an inch thick from his fingertips to his elbow. After all of this, my mom decides my dad needs a beer. That’s when we find out that the county is a dry county and that she’ll have to go to a bar to get it. After leaving us in the van for a few minutes, during which a creepy man stared us down, causing my then 12 or 13 year old self to lay on the floor of the van so he couldn’t see me, she gets the beer. My dad was very grateful. When we got home and my dad went to the specialist, the dr. almost fell on the floor laughing at his overkill cast and treatment. Turns out, he had barely knicked a tendon and hadn’t needed a cast at all. He was SO excited to hear that after he spent his whole vacation miserably toting around a couple pound cast on his left hand (and of course, he’s left handed).
Nobody can top that guy’s story. Damn!
I was going to mention a few vacations I took in the middle east on the governments dime, but this morning I opened the wallstreet journals photo blog to see a photo of Army Staff Sgt. Rusty Christian’s young widow recieving an American flag at her husbands funneral. I have decided to be grateful I can sit in the safety of my office read Puk Rock HR and complain about the ink stain on my shirt.
Life is short look for the positives..
No story, but dude’s tale makes me want to go home and hug Wife Prince…
Sid.
I’ve had so many bad business trips I don’t know where to start. One time I was waiting for my flight home from Indianpolis. There was a big thunderstorm so the flight was delayed 4 hours. Everyone waiting to board was whinig about the delay, including me. The only entertainment was watching the baggage handlers get soaked while loading the plane at the next gate. All of a sudden one of the baggage guys was struck by lightning. The whole crowd watched them do CPR on the guy. Everyone quit whining about the delay after that.
On another trip I had to go to HQ for a meeting with a bunch of bigwigs. I flew in the night before the meeting so I was dressed for comfort, not business. The airline lost my luggage. So I had to give my presentation to the president of the company and several VPs in shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops.
When I was in London, my credit card was hacked. The thief signed up for a bunch of online dating services with my $$.
I have had nothing to compare with your ordeal or the experiences of your commenters. I’ve had lost luggage, a picked pocket, missed connections, etc. – but not all at once!
I *have* sprained my ankle on almost every vacation I have ever been on. I have sprained my ankle in Istanbul, London, Barbados, Venice, and a dozen different US states. My kids thought it was kind of funny when they were growing up.
After the stories about the guy going to Toronto to argue the value of his wife’s life and the baggage handler who got struck by lightning, I feel like I’ve got absolutely nothing to complain about. I’m just happy that worst thing that ever happened to me on vacation was a broken arm!
Seconding Karen’s remarks re: pickpocketing being more common in Europe. Mentioned Laurie’s woes to my partner, who’s from Germany, and he had several stories to share. Though waiters and staff seem to be much more willing to go after the thieves in Europe, as well.
My worst vacation was still rather awesome, but it was a weeklong road trip to Colorado with my best friend.
He landed on day one in the hospital with food poisoning. On day four we got to Breckenridge, which is over 10,000 feet. Sat down to relax after some walking around and watched news coverage, in horror, of the bridge collapse in Minneapolis.
Don’t know if it was the hiking or anxiety about watching the collapse, but both of us had severe altitude sickness. My skin turned gray and I guess despite my preparations I was dehydrated.
We were supposed to be at that lodge for three days. Hightailed it out of there after one, went down to Denver (a mere 5500 feet elevation) and went to the frou-frouiest hotel we could find (the Curtis).
I had a horrifyingly bad weekend in Minneapolis once, but I take responsibility for that. Any idiot that willingly goes to MN in January deserves to suffer.
I was 7 on my worst vacation ever. My family was camping in Northern Michigan, and I came down with chicken pox on day 2 of a 14 day trip. Because the spot was non-refundable, Dad decided we would stay. But I had to stay in the tent, so I wouldn’t get other people sick. During the day I got to sleep on Mom’s cot, but the rest of the time was on the ground. Plenty of calamine lotion, but nothing to do but itch, read and sweat (August in MI is hot and humid). I was planning on swimming the entire time, so I had only brought one small book. Mom let me read her Harlequin novels and Women’s Days, and I found my older sister’s diary, so I did learn some things.
One of my worst business trips: had to travel for an Audit (sounds horrible enough to begin with). My flight was delayed several hours & I was traveling West to East — so, the time change was not working in my favor.
I got to my destination very late, ignored the alarm & totally overslept…I woke up 10 minutes before I was to meet with the Auditors. I got dressed & sped to the office, where I met the Auditors with massive pillow lines on my cheek. Awesome first impression.
I took a trip with my grandparents to Washington State one time when I was about 15 yrs old— an old Ford 250 that smelled of motor oil and a 25 ft trailer— and everything was going well for the most part until we were going over some mountainous terrain right before The Dalles— btw– my Grandfather loves his whiskey in a coffee cup— and he decides he’s gonna go sightseeing while driving downhill on this treacherous narrow road!! Thank God my Grandmother was paying attention because she grabbed the steering wheel and hit the trailer brake— turns the wheel sharply– and I’m looking out the passenger window at a 500+ foot drop!! with about four inches of road left— Easily my death!! I thought it was kind of exhilarating actually— never almost died before!!
Needless to say— Gram tore a hole the size of the Grand Canyon into Gramps when we got downhill— never seen her that mad. Moral of the story? Never almost kill Grandma cause she get’s REALLY pissed off–!!!
I can’t remember which one it was, or what the destination was, but I’m pretty sure my ex-wife was there
I haven’t had anything come close to your experience in London. The worst business trip I’ve had was my first trip to Chicago. I was scheduled to be on a flight out to BHM at 658pm, my coworkers at 3pm. We arrived at the airport at 1pm. Their flight was delayed three times and they finally got out at 7pm. My flight was never delayed, until I got on the plane and we got on the runway. We sat on the plane until 10pm on the runway. We almost ran out of fuel trying to get back to a gate to refuel and deice again. We got off the plane while they refueled so everyone could make a mad dash to the restroom and the McDonalds that’s was closed already. My bags were gate checked, my phone battery was at 20%, my contacts were dry, my feet hurt, and I really wanted some real food. It was 1am before got out of ORD, 12hrs in that damn airport. It was 3pm when I got home and thankfully the McD’s up the street from my house was open.
My fatehr dies 3 1/2 years ago, and my younger sister and I traveled to teh Virgin Islans where he had lived the last 17 years of his life to settle the estate (gross overstatement – big credit card bills, little $ in the bank – mainly consisted of clearing out and shipping home personal momentos) – but it coincided with the Fourth of July. In the Virgin Islands, this is a bigger holiday than average, because it is also the anniversary of their release from slavery. So, we couldn’t get any business items taken care of (turning off cable, close out bank account, etc.) and EVERYONE else was drunk and loud and festive. Bleah!
@Lisa Bleah is right. Yuck.
@April I hate ORD. I’m with you. #sucks
@Frank Those poor ex-wives always take the rap.
@MattyMat Vacationing with grandparents? No thanks.
@Linz Oh crap, that is horrible — pillow lines & all.
@vikki Camping is bad enough. Stop right there.
@Patrick OMG, Mnplis in January is nuts. Also, any vacation where I get exercise is automatically a bad vacation. #fact
@Ian Ouch!
@Joan Ouch x2!
@Suz We’re both destined to get f-ked in London.
@Sid Exactly. I came home & actually felt in love while jet lagged.
@JohnC Life is sad.
@AJane I know. Word.
@Jenna This is proof that nothing good comes out of going to Pennsylvania.
@Rain Holy shit.
@Karen We’re all victims at some point, aren’t we? I’m part of a great community who’ve been nicked in London.
@Chris Holy hell, that sucks.
@Puf OMFG. That’s a story. Right there. You win.
@HR Mark Yuck — also, sleeping on a bare floor would make me crabby.
My worst vacation ever was to OBX with friends from out of state. It was during Hurricane Charlie, which was the highlight of the trip. I arrived a couple of days into the week when the rest of the crowd had been there. A friend’s teenage son was introduced to me as “The Phantom Pooper” because he had taken a dump on the girls’ bathroom floor as a practical joke. I immediately wanted to run out the door and should have. It didn’t get any better, with the boys throwing the girls’ underwear off the balcony, couples constantly fighting, and grown men choosing to pee outside next to the pool. Maybe if I weren’t a grownup, I could have found some of this charming, but when people were going into my room when I was elsewhere and going through my things and using my cell phone, I considered it a nightmare.
This one’s a tie for best and worst – try going on Spring Break in college only to find that your ATM card doesn’t work! Spent the week borrowing cash from my friends, but boy did we have a blast!
All in all I’ve been pretty fortunate while travelling. A couple of delayed bags every now and then can be expected. Our worst experience has to be meeting Hurricane Irene face to face in 1999. We were on our first cruise and were really looking forward to it. By day 3 the weather started to get cloudy and rainy. By day 5 the decks were closed and the stops canceled. We sailed through the hurricane to get back to Miami. As someone who already suffers from motion sickness even in calm seas this was an awful, awful experience. We arrived in Miami but couldn’t dock as the other cruise ships hadn’t been able to leave yet. We finally got off the boat but had missed our plane home. We spent the night at the airport hotel and flew out the next morning. The cruise line even reimbursed me for the hotel stay.
About 10 years ago I was on a plane taking a trip to Seattle. I started up a conversation with the kid next to me (I was 24 and he had to be about 19 or 20) on the plane and I found out he was from Seattle. Since I had never been there I was asking him what I should check out while I was there. He gave me a few suggestions and I asked him if he had gotten to see the sights of Chicago while he was in town. His face changed expression and he got a more serious tone in his voice as he explained that he was in Chicago less than 24 hours on this trip but he had gotten to see a bit more the last time he was here 2 or 3 weeks ago. I asked if he visited Chicago often and he told me that these last 2 trips were the only time he had been out of Seattle. Apparently he was flown into town to be on 2 different tapings of “The Jenny Jones Show”. The first was the part where they tell you that you might have a kid you didn’t know about, and the second is the results of the paternity test. We didn’t speak much after that and I could kinda tell what the results were.
Doood! Jamaica. Online travel agency gave a bad hotel description (and rating), worst sunburn I have EVER had and the worst part…it followed Hawaii the previous year. So, there was no way Jamaica was gonna live up to Hawaii anyway. What was I thinking?