Amanda Thinks I'm Sexy!
I can’t believe it’s Friday. Ignore the pile of work on your desk and talk to me about romance.
My husband has been gone, all week, and he will be home on Friday night. Lucky for him, I’m a different kind of girl. I’m not sentimental, nor am I very romantic. For example, I think candle-lit showers and baths are gross. Here’s a tip for my next husband: your bathtub will never be clean enough. If you want to romance me, don’t ask me to soak in your germy water.
What about you? What’s a ‘traditionally romantic’ thing that you think is stupid? Do you hate flowers? Do you refuse to pay for dinner on the first date? When was the last time you bought a box of candy and a Hallmark card for your sweetie?
If you are anti-romance, I want to know why. Are you jaded, cynical, or cheap? I am cynical and I think romance is about the subtleties in life. Do the laundry. That’s totally sexy.
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
Agree with you that romance is the subtleties in life but admittedly I am a hopeless romantic.
That said, cooking dinner for my wife (pretty much every night because I LOVE to cook and my wife can barely do Mac & Cheese) is equally if not more romantic than any of the grandiose and supposedly uber romantic gestures.
I know I can’t keep her off me when I clean the toilet or the pool!
I find my husband cleaning the kitchen very sexy. But he is not much of a romantic most of the time, which makes the little gestures he does more meaningful, if infrequent.
i am no romantic. heck my MBTI profile is INTP and i am cynical. am beyond hope i guess!
So I am nomal! I can not agree more! Call me a romantic cynic but;
flowers die (what does that say about love?)
candy undermines my time at the gum
love notes are meant for high school kids
taking a candlelit bath together? Seriously unless you have a giant tub it is uncomfortable and kinda unsanitary
BUT… I totally agree on cleaning and cooking and stuff
I am not big on Hallmark holidays (I grit my teeth for Mother’s Day but do it because I don’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings by ignoring it), so told my husband when we started dating he was off the hook for Valentine’s Day. I would much rather have a man who goes to Wal-Mart at midnight on a worknight to buy and install a new battery in my car so I can go to my morning exercise class than one who buys me flowers once a year.
I’m not a big fan of large expensive gifts. Get me something that costs $1 but shows you really know me and appreciate who I am. Those car ads at Christmas with the bow on the Lexus in the driveway are not for me…nor are the diamond anniversary bands. But my husband framing the menu for high tea at the hotel we were at on our honeymoon….priceless!
All these remarks about ‘unsanitary baths together’- u do have sex with ur significant others right…geez…
Anyway, I’m what I’d call a practical romantic- I don’t mind the occasional flower and chocolate- just don’t waste your money behind me. To me, if you really care and want to be romantic then you’d get me something or do something for me that tells me just how well you pay attention to me and that you know what I like.
Laundry – Sexy—-I must be a sex fiend with all my laundry!!!
M
give me a man who does the dishes and volunteers to take care of the kitties when i am out of town, and i’m yours.
on the dislike end of things, i can’t stand the trend in elaborate marriage proposal schemes…that’s not romantic, it’s just trying to one-up your friend who timed the release of 1000 white doves to coincide with popping the question to his princess on a beach at sunset while sipping champagne and dancing to “their” song…or some other combination of equally weird impersonal uncreative engagement story stereotypes. GROSS.
Romance? Bleech!!
Flowers? Waste of money!
Candy? Who still does that?
Love letters? ugh…just shoot me now!
Bubble baths? Not a chance in h%ll!
I’m easy…. just give me a little time to myself (no babies, no interuptions)– a day at the book store, a run to Starbucks, some time at the gym….. Priceless!!!
Practical and caring ALL the way. I’m with Leanne. Shared family budgets don’t lend themselves to huge gestures – I’d shove those keys where the sun doesn’t shine if my partner “surprised” me with an expensive vehicle that I have to make payments on.
My wifey likes to make my travel arrangements (which sometimes backfires) and sometimes has the front desk surprise me with something special – maybe just a faxed note from my kid, maybe breakfast preordered for my room. She also likes to guess what I’m going to order before I order it – just to show either that she cares and knows me well, or to show that I’m totally predictable and picky, not sure which.
Yeah, I’m pretty much done with the flowers and cards. I will admit that I liked those at the beginning of our relationship but now, 8 years of marriage and two babies later, a little quiet time goes a long way! And a clean bathroom. A clean kitchen. Some laundry folded. Ok, you get the point, right.:-) Oh, and a date night every now and then is nice.
I refuse – REFUSE – to do the big fancy dinner thing on the first date, or even the third. I take dates to dive bars for two reasons: 1. I like dive bars, and that’s where I’ll suggest we hang out down the road, so if it’s a problem, get it out of the way early; and 2. There’s not much to do at dive bars other than talk, and if we can’t keep each other interested for two or three hours, why go out again? You’d be amazed how quickly things cut to the chase.
Hate: Valentine’s Day
Love: Going out to our neighborhood favorite local bar for a cocktail on a whim.
I like romantic things, but not the ones that are completely standard, require no thought, and that you just do because “that’s what you do.” I like doing little things that show the other person you know and like all the little things about them that make them…well, them. Screw flowers – if she likes obscure art films from the ’80s, I’ll find her one of those. And then I’ll even watch it with her.
As for me – well, if a girl can hold up a decent conversation about comic books and likes the taste of beer – well I just turn to putty. Now that’s romance.
Most romantic gifts from my hubby are my lime green ipod nano (we are techies), a watch I almost bought myself months prior (this gift was an “I love you” gift – no special occassion) and a gift card for Kiva! (if you don’t know what Kiva is, click on my name! AWESOME!) It’s all relative when it comes to romantic!
I’m with you- a big “NO” to traditional romance. If hubby gave me a glass of wine and let me watch him vacuum, I’d be so happy and romanced. Since he is a former Marine, I have always told him he vacumms more precisely than anyone I’ve ever met.
First of all: Laurie, the shirt is perfect.
I tend to agree that romance is not found in the traditional, typical, once-a-year grand gestures. Romance is found in the details. The somewhat obscure specifics. Like the way…nevermind.
And, for what it’s worth, I’m a fairly big deal when it comes to doing the weekend laundry.
I agree, down with traditional romance gestures. Flowers and candy??? Please. You might as well buy me a corsage and take me to the sock hop.
If someone wanted to romance me, the best way would be to surprise me with a weekend trip out of town. Doesn’t matter where as long as there a 4 star hotel and room service. Hotel sex is THE BEST!
Funny you should bring up romance. I’m in a relationship, at my old fart age! He doesn’t need a walker and he actually cleaned the cat box.
I’m in love
As with so many things, romance is what I signed up for when I said the vows, so I make the standard romantic gestures because one of my needs is to meet her needs. For me, all you gotta do is let me watch the Discovery Channel once in a while instead of some ridiculous reality show. Oh, and stay away from me when Penn State or the Eagles are playing football.
Cleaning is so sexy. I’m not an overly-sentimental person, either. My partner and I are very laid back and that’s just not our style–and I’m great with that.
We do nice things for each other rather than buy a lot of stuff.
And did I mention how sexy cleaning is? The laundry room is my favorite room?
Sigh…what is this world coming to? We don’t need to confuse our loves any more, this is not helping people!
I’m a hopeless romantic that believes in love…and anything that he/she will do to keep the love alive is romantic to me.
There is no right or wrong with romance for me, it’s the thought that counts 100%.
I hate to think that if any of you cynics received flowers or a candlelit dinner that it would be so terrible…I mean, there are so many things in this world that are easily despised…why cringe at something kind and generous?
Poo poo on you people.
@Michael I love how you are a hopeless romantic. I think my husband was much more romantic back in the day — but I can barely remember. I think you should post a YouTube video where you clean the toilets. We’ll call it HOUSEWIFE PORN.
@HR Minion You’re lucky to have a sexy manly awesome hubba hubba husband who blogs. That’s all that matters.
@Guatam But you are such a good catch so MBTI profile be damned!
@Sarah Germ soup! LOL.
@Class My SIL works for Hallmark so let me say BUY HALLMARK CARDS AT WALGREENS. That being said, I agree that repairing cars = awesome man-skillz.
@Leanne Oh now that is awesome. That’s a thoughtful gesture that represents good character!!
@Meg I love how your standards align with mine: litter boxes. I know nothing of these elaborate proposals, though. Ken proposed to me in bed so it was pretty much guaranteed that I was going to a) say yes & b) put out. He said, “I would have proposed earlier in the day but you wouldn’t stop talking.” I had to fall asleep to shut up so he could get a word in edgewise.
@Mark F. You had me at hello.
@HRChick I’m with you x100.
@FrannyO I love how your wifey takes charge on travel arrangements. I used to have an assistant, Renee, who was so good with travel arrangements — and enjoyed making my life easier — that I swore I would marry her. Seriously, it’s the little things that make all the difference. If you get a faxed notes in NOLA, you’ll have to share it!
@Crystal Our date nights somehow morphed into going to the movies — but I put on lip gloss and then Ken asks, “Why are you all dressed up? Do I look okay in these shorts? Should I change?” Shoot, romance is ALIVE in our our marriage.
@Chuck I once went on a date with a guy to a dive bar. About half-way through, he said, “We don’t have anything in common.” Totally true so I shrugged my shoulders and agreed. I never saw him again. Was that you?
@Nelking I think cocktails are the key to romance.
@Ian Have you ever had a woman fake it with the comic books? Can you tell? Do you just appreciate the effort?
@KFP I got a nano, too, in 2007 as a “you’re so sexy” gift. Great minds!
@Trish Whoa, I’d pay money to see a Marine and vacuum. Rawr.
@Punk Rock Recruiter If I had to pick room service over hotel sex, I would spend the weekend debating the merits of the two. That’s a tough choice.
@Ali Where can I marry this man?
@HRCrout You are a renaissance man!
@Karen I only have sex after I’ve thoroughly sprayed Ken with Lysol. He’s one lucky fella to have such a frigid, frigid wife.
I love a surprise, big or small. My last boyfriend brought me flowers for our first date. It was corny, and not my thing, necessarily, but it was a small thing that indicated he was trying.
I’ve been too single for too long to reject ANY romance, regardless of how unimaginative it is. But I’m talking about romance as in “creates tender feelings” vs “sex”. Going out with someone new who does something stereotypically romantic just because they think it will get them (more/different) sex is just disappointing.
@Nichole You are so right. I got flowers for Mother’s Day from Ken even though I don’t have kids. It was awesome. I’m still not taking a bath with him, though. Those days of me pretending to enjoy baths are OVAH.
i hate flowers – and please, please, please – DON’T sing to me!
@Betsy We have a Neil Diamond fan among us! I won’t sing you love songs.
I think you’re right. It’s rude to reject an offer of romance if it is genuine. I will put out for
someonemy husband when he buys me dinner, though.@Laurie – yup, sure have – it’s because of all the comic-themed movies that have come out lately, they’re like coles notes for those who date
rogueishly handsomecomic book nerds. I never thought I’d live to see the day when comic knowledge was a good first-date ice-breaker, but that day is here. We are living the dream, my friends.And yes, I am always 100% impressed by the effort, no matter what the outcome. And yes – I can always tell :p
I gotta admit… I’m a hopeless romantic at heart.
I don’t expect dinner, candy, flowers and a Lexus on Valentines Day… But it would be nice if the fiance just planned SOMETHING sweet and corny. For me, I think the pressure comes from other people. I hate admitting that, but part of wanting the stupid shit is to avoid the sympathy looks from my peers/co-workers/mother. “Oh so what are you guys doing for Valentines/ anniversary/special day?” .. “oh I dont know, nothing special planned”… then comes the look “Oh…”
I know my fiance loves me. He brings me home reese cups and circus peanuts (my fave!) regularly. He does the dishes without being asked. He never complains about my messes or cooking. I love and appreciate him for these things… but I can’t help getting a little sad if he didn’t get me anything for V-day or if he isn’t sentimental. In contrast, my crazy ex was the traditional romantic who sent flowers to work routinely, but wound up cheating/lying/stealing/etc. Obviously being a romantic guy does not equal being a good guy. Logically, I know this. But it’s still hard to not want the stupid romance with the amazing guy. If you really love me, you would post it on my facebook wall dammit!!!
Now I feel like a needy selfish bitch. Hopefully I can just chalk up my immature behavior to being 25 years old. Give me 10 years and I’ll be thrilled about the litter box too.
Wow. I am the most cynical cynic who ever cynic-ed, but I am horrified at this! It just seems so judgmental. “Love me the way I want you to love me, not the way you want to love me.” A gesture is a gesture, whether it’s flowers, or a load of laundry done, or an elaborate diorama involving plastic godzillas and tiny typewriters that you give to an ultimately undeserving writer you think you’re soooo in love with. Um … not that I’ve ever done that or anything. You crazy kids. I know you have your own way of doing these things, but I’ll take love however it’s offered!
I am so unromantic. I think flowers are a waste of money, i do like candy though, but if I am only getting it cause it is valentines day then you are in trouble. ditto on the nasty bath thing.
@Ian You are one astonishingly awesome fella. Hit me up on Facebook and I’ll link you to all the single fangirls I know!
@Jessica Oh snap. I was just told.
@Tara I know, I know. Honestly, I’m all talk. I can’t wait to see Ken, tonight. I’m so romantic that I cleaned the bathroom for him. No baths, though.
@HRU Some women want to be fed grapes. I want to be fed M&Ms.
Yes, it’s true TR totally has a business crush on PRHR.
Bold & confident = hot
Hopeless romantic moves = boring
But sorry unlike the rest of the community here I don’t think laundry and lysol doesn’t turn me on.
I can’t seem to type, talk or write today…
I think the romance cynics are just haters who aren’t being showered with stuff because they are paired up with someone cheap. If you were to begin to receive little blue boxes, Godiva choco covered strawberries + bubbly, Red Door spa days… your perspective would certainly change. Call me spoiled, fine. But don’t tell me you wouldn’t be thrilled by it! At the end of the day, it is indeed just stuff but the thought and effort and time that goes behind it is what is amazing. And someone who goes to those lengths is golden in my book.
Talk is cheap, folks. Words are empty. Show me how you feel.
Does this make me materialistic amd shallow?
@Amanda Well I’m more than just laundry and lysol. I like clean floors and an organized garage!
@JLee I think trinkets are cheap. I want it all. I’m not giving up my fancy engagement ring any time soon, but I do want Ken to get home and carry two, 40 lb bags of cat litter to the basement.
I don’t like dating, candlelight dinner, flowers (unless they come in pots), etc. Maybe that’s why I am still single.
I’m good with all of it. Mr. Jackbuilt and I have been together for 16 years, married for 14 of them. In the beginning I was all torn up over him not being romantic – where were my flowers, my candles, my Barry White?!? But like Tara said, he was romantic on his terms. Once I figured that out, it was all good. His way is always a Snoopy card, always a card from the dogs and a card from the cats, sometimes it’s flowers, my favorite has been shoes (I’ll put out for shoes everytime). I can’t tell him how to do it, and I’m not about to tell him when, it’s really just about the fact that he does. I’m not about to poo on any of it – I would feel awful if he did that to me.
But Laurie, I’m with you on the bath. My only exception is the sweet spa/hot tub type. Which doesn’t really work if you overfill with bubble bath because you can’t see each other anyway and then panic that the hotel maid is gonna freak out over the tsunami of bubbles you’ve left all over your hotel room.
Well, I am a ROMANTIC and proud of it! I love to bathe with my “loved” one.. not worry about the water or the bath tub!!! I love candle lights, dirty talk, flowers, small gestures of love, jealousy, make up after a fight.. Butterflies in my stomach, anxiety of seeing someone I love and have not seen him for a long time! Ladies and gents, America needs more romance. It is the spice of life and guys, your American born women, don’t like romance in the USA, but when abroad, they fall for the biggest dirt bags the sweet talk them!!! hahaha Ladies .. be more romantic and your man will not flee to South America in search of tenderness…
Rose petals on the bed. Why?
Most roses don’t really smell all that good (and I don’t really like the smell all that much anyway)
And then we have to clean up all the smelly dried pieces after!
Too much work for the same end result.
I like dirty talk to.
Most romantic thing a guy ever did for me? Was wash my feet when I puked all over them because I drank too much at a wild party
@Chris Your comment went to spam (Boo!) but you’re a big deal for reasons beyond laundry!
@Rampancy I puked up spaghetti and vodka in a bed (long story) and my boyfriend changed my sheets. Romance = the small things in life.
@pussified Rose petals on bed = lame.
@Vfrida America needs fewer Republican governors. Let him flee to Argentina. They can have him!
@Jackbuilt The *best* bath I ever had was in Las Vegas, before my wedding, where I soaked in an overflow tub (the kind Kohler makes) of mineral salts and waters before being scrubbed down & exfoliated by a Ukranian woman. I would have married HER.
@Max Time to step it up. Don’t do candlelight. Do http://eharmony.com or something!
I didn’t read all of the posts, so someone may have said it already.
Ultimate sexy is:
hiring a housekeeper so that your wife who works two jobs because she loves them both can spend her extra time with the kids instead scouring the tub.
@Amy I like the way you think!!