Since it’s Friday, I want to talk about the word authenticity. There was a discussion on RBC that I missed, so I would like to hear what you think. I want to know —
- What does it mean to be an authentic human being?
- Can you have multiple facets of your personality and still be a genuine & trustworthy person?
- How does authenticity relate to consistency?
- Do you have to be totally transparent in order to be considered authentic?
Many of us spend the first half of our lives in an attempt to cultivate a point-of-view and specific preferences only to realize that we need to be in therapy because we really don’t know much about ourselves. Think about all those crazy goth kids who wear oppressively insane clothes in the summertime. They believe they are authentic, but you might feel otherwise. Is authenticity an either/or proposition?
I think being authentic means being well-intentioned and sincere, but even the most authentic person exists in a state of dissonance. No one is perfect. Everyone is flawed. We all wear masks.
What do you think about the concept of authenticity? Are you authentic? Does it matter? Would you rather talk about Michael Jackson’s upcoming funeral arrangements? [I would!]
I’d love to hear what you have to say about this topic.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
In my leadership reading/emotional intelligence quest, I have seen the both concepts of authenticity and resonance (the opposite of dissonance) addressed.
Being authentic is situational. Being authentic means being candidly consistent and present according to where you are right now in time, space and place. Respectful decorum counts at times. As does playful irrelevancy at other times. To be truly authentic requires strength in humility and listening skills. The Tibetan greeting of Tashi Delay encompasses being situationally authentic.
Who I am here is different than who I am there.
Consistency is a worthy goal subject to human frailties. We all have great days and days we would rather not talk about. In between our extremes, consistency lies.
Total transparency is an ideality. As with the days we would rather not talk about, there are some and occassionally many things left unsaid. Think Johari’s window.
Why do we hear more about cognitive dissonance and less about cognitive resonance?
MJ – may he rest in peace, may his family find serenity, and may his music live on, and on, and on.
First things first – MJ? Good music, smart businessman, weird – maybe even creepy – person. Let’s move on.
To me, being authentic is about being who you are (even when it’s not “cool”). Some people (politicians as a class spring to mind, not to mention certain ass-kissers in the workplace) seem not to have any sense of who they are, or at least no comfort in embracing that. Now, being able to be who you are is a luxury (that’s, IMHO, what finding the love of your life is all about) – and sometimes being willing to be who you are takes courage of an extraordinary sort. I think true happiness comes when you can be who you are no matter where you are (and, with no disrepect to the prior poster, I don’t see how that’s “situational”, other than sometimes we all have to dress up who we are just to fit in. That’s polite, perhaps practical/necessary – but authentic?).
The problem is that we, as humankind, don’t seem to be genetically wired to accept “oddities”, or sometimes just people who seem to be different from us. It’s not survival of the fittest, after all – it’s survival of the samest…
Happy Independence Day, all! And thanks to all those that have, over the generations, had the courage to keep it alive!
Tact and transparency is the way to go and so much easier said than done. This would be a great convo to have over coffee, a few drinks, boating down the river . . .
there have been so many great conversations on authenticity across the blog-o-sphere and twitter lately. let’s hope it raises the bar on our expecting (demanding?) authentic behavior. i’m with everyone here — who you are can look different in different places and with different people and still be authentic, as long as it is a true reflection of all the different facets of who you are. finding the strength to show those sides of yourself in a given situation? that’s a whole different story! i liked the copyblogger’s recent post on the art of courage: http://bit.ly/UCTWU. f
I take a somewhat Sartrian view on this (stifle the yawns at the back please!). We are defined by our actions. It doesn’t really matter what we believe unless we do.
Authenticity is about acting on and being true to your own personality or character, regardless of the social external pressures to do otherwise.
I believe its something to strive for. We all know that horrible feeling in the pit of our stomach when we do or say something that is out of line with our beliefs.
Wow, The HRD’s beautifully articulated comment saved me a lot of typing! Seriously, ditto on every word.
As regards transparency, I think having a public face and a private face is not just acceptable, but admirable. I think of it this way: I am a house. For the public, I open the window, in private, I open the door. The furnishings are the same, but not everyone needs to end up stretched out on my sofa.
Some thought provoking and well worded responses here! I’ll be more simple, direct and less philosophical, because I haven’t finished my first cup of coffee yet.
Even though you missed the chat, you summed it up! Some conclusions we kicked around:
~An authentic person is sincere
~Authentic in the context of consistency, is not always a positive label. You can also be counted on to be an authentic liar. (inspired by Bill Boorman)
~Multiple facets / personas / masks can be authentic parts of ourselves. For example, Sandra McCartt wears her “I don’t use the F word” mask around men of the cloth (unless they use it first, hahaha). I have my authentic personal life (including political opinions and less than professional ramblings) set to private on Facebook, but Twitter and LinkedIn are my authentically professional self. Censoring where you share certain opinions is not inauthentic.
~Authenticity and transparency are 2 different things, you can be consistent and sincere and real, but that doesn’t mean people need to know you secretly have a crush on your client or that the western omlette you ate has made you quite gassy today. On the other hand, look at VentingHRGuy. I believe he is being authentic, but can’t afford to be transparent.
I think authenticity is very important and I like what the HRD said about it being true to your personality and character.
I also don’t think it means being “transparent” all the time. For instance, my mom continually asks questions she does not want the answers to…it would be very hurtful to her if I was totally transparent with my answers…so I have consistently sugar-coated answers for her (while kidding her about how she should not ask those questions…she might not get answers she likes.)
In professional life/business I think authenticity is most important. I live by the adage “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” If you are not authentic chances are I will find out, and not want to be linked to you professionally any more.
Nicely said TheHRD!
I think authenticity is getting a Honus Wagner rookie card and sell it for millions of dollars.
In all seriousness, authenticity to me is what makes you feel comfortable about yourself, can you accept the public’s opinion about you and can you defend yourself. People will have many various opinions about you, but it’s up to the individual to choose from which one of those they are comfortable with.
I think that being authentic is more about not hiding who you are and less about being completely open about who you are.
I, like many others, think TheHRD said it best. I think I’m still figuring out what that means to me and as long as I’m honest with myself and can live with what I’ve done during the day when it comes time to turn in at night, then I’m going with that.
I think that transparency in the workplace is certainly different than transparency out of the workplace. In my personal life what you see is what you get. I don’t have the energy to be someone different – it’s taken too long to be comfortable in this skin. In the workplace transparency isn’t something I have total control over; there are too many other factors at play.
I’m with HR Minion.
Jackbuilt said it perfectly for me. Authenticity in my personal life is, as Jackbuilt said, what you see is what you get. I’m impatient, quiet and opinionated (odd combination I know). However at work I’m not as transparent. For many of us being in HR means wearing a different hat than we wear in our personal lives. It doesn’t mean we are not being authentic to ourselves if we can easily go between the two and enjoy what we are doing.
I talked about Brand Authenticity this week. Which has a lot to do with the ‘experience’ matching the ‘expectation’. I believe personal authenticity is demonstrated through behavior, consistent with a values set. Both brands and people change and evolve. But at our core there are certain fundamental anchors that hopefully serve to guide, shape and drive our actions/beliefs. Awareness and understanding are vital. Perhaps the best advice I ever received was ‘just be yourself’. And when you are comfortable and confident enough to be yourself consistently, you’ll find your authentic self.
HRD is right on. In order to maintain my authenticity however, I take a more Hammerian outlook, one where me must all be “2 Legit 2 Quit”
Right on HRD and HRP! To me it’s as simple as someone’s character and being “authentic” is just today’s buzz word.
Whether I’m at work, online, with my friends or family I am always me. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not and I think if you asked all these people about me there would be common threads. However, that doesn’t mean that each of these groups knows the complete me. . . not that it’s being hidden but each group brings out different qualities than others.
Is that not being transparent? I don’t believe so as I don’t feel the need to share all sides of me to everyone (there are a few that have that priviledge or curse). But my character never waivers. As Popeye said “I Yam who I Yam”!!!
@RMS I hadn’t even considered the thought of cognitive resonance. I need to think more about it. I’m not even sure it’s possible.
@Nevin Is it survival of the samest? I hadn’t thought about that, either. I was once advised that heroes die. The people who live and reproduce are the ones who run away from the fight. Hmmmm.
@Lisa We need to find a way to have drinks and coffee and time on a river. I want to make that happen!
@Fran I like the link between courage and authenticity. I think courage will be the word for Web 3.0, whatever that is.
@HRD Oh my goodness. You win. That is so absolutely brilliant.
@Elise I like the metaphor of the house. I also like telling people that my blog is like sausage. You don’t want to see how it’s made.
@Shawna Wow, that’s good for someone w/o coffee. Venting HR Guy is definitely vocal. I think he’s well-intentioned and authentic, but I’m always curious about his filter. When I tell a story about other people, I am accountable to the characters in the story because my name is on the post. I read Venting HR Guy on a daily basis, but those stories could be more than just biased and filtered. The could be fictitious. I trust they aren’t, but that’s because I believe in his voice.
@Daisycutter Exactly. HRD nails it.
@TracyTran You are the ESPN of HR.
@Minion Ooooh, that’s interesting.
@Jackbuilt I wonder how much control we have over our lives in general. Can we own transparency or authenticity? Are we in charge of our own images in public? Hmmmmm. Good thoughts.
@Jenn Who isn’t with Minion? She’s awesome.
@adowling I like your take on this! http://pseudohr.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/morphing-hats/
@Ryan I used to hate the advice of *be yourself* but now I realize, in a very zen way, that you can’t help but be yourself — even when you’re trying to be someone else. The question is, “Who are you?”
@Puf OMG, the hammer has fallen. You are 2 Legit 2 Quit.
@HRJEFE You are always yourself. So true.
Authenticity and transparency are two different things in my book. I think authenticity evokes feelings of trustworthiness (yes, its a word… at least it is today). Someone is authentic when I can trust both the content and the intention of tier words and actions. This is not something I see too much of, but it is something I try to achieve in my interactions with others. I don’t always succeed in this, but I try. i really do.
I am not sure how I feel about transparency, but it seems different to me. More personal almost. Less relevant to decent human behavior in the workplace.
Many of the comments here have addressed consistency. Some believe the face they present to others should be the same in all circumstances. Others believe it is best to present different “facets” of ourselves to different audiences. These differences are expected. There is a “personality” variable known as self-monitoring that speaks to this apparently natural difference among individuals. Check out this brief description of self monitoring: http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/self-monitoring.htm
I don’t think that authenticity is always joined to honesty. A good example of this would be when the “problem children” come into my office with something about how their co-workers looked at them funny or whatever the complaint of the week is. I have to pretend that I take their concerns seriously and then offer them solutions instead of just telling them to grow up and put on their big girl panties. So when I see them approach my door, and I’m thinking “oh gawd, what now?” but, instead, I smile and greet them pleasantly and make a bit of small talk to show interest in them, I’m really not being honest, am I? And certainly not transparent.
That said, my mama raised me right, so even though my brain is wishing they’d go away, my treating them respectfully and trying to help them find a light bulb moment is authentic behavior on my part.
I’m only authentic whem I’m drunk (like right now) or when I’ve been smoking some illegal substances.
That being said I hate it how people all of a sudden seem to have the need to say everything (like how many years they didn’t have sex or what they really think about the way you drink your coffee) with a smile because they are “authentic” . Please STFU! You are either hurting my brain or being plain rude!
@Rampancy I’m only authentic when I’m talking to drunks. I can get away with saying more insulting and disruptive stuff.
@HAria I love how it all comes back to manners. Even though we strive for authenticity, manners and tact keep us from saying what’s on our mind.
@George Wow, that’s a really good point. Also, how are you doing? Didn’t you just lose your job? Send me an update to yo@punkrockhr.com and let me know how life is treating you!
@Laurie – I either blogged or journalized cognitive resonance at one time or another. Perhaps it is time to revisit and post thoughts on Maine HR Cafe. Hmmmm – where are those thoughts?
This made me think of an old Bill Cosby bit. He tells a story about being at a party in the 70’s and seeing a guy doing cocaine. Bill asks the guy “What’s the big deal with cocaine, anyway?” The guy says “Because it enhances your personality.” And Bill asks, “But what if you’re an asshole?”
What if your authentic self is an asshole? Or is it possible that your authentic self could be an asshole? Or is being an asshole really a cover for being insecure about who your authentic self really is? (yeah, I’m thinking of a particular person who is always an asshole.)
@RMS Actually, I do remember that you blogged about it. I was just thinking that my cat, Scrubby, suffers from cognitive dissonance. Is he a cat? Is he my special little guy? Why doesn’t he wear cute clothes and act like a baby? Does Scrubby know who he is? Why is there such a disconnect?
Maybe that’s why he pees.
@Shell Oh snap, I hope you’re not thinking of me!
It’s interesting that Michael Jackson’s name was mentioned in this article. Hmmmm… Authenticity and Michael Jackson. Now, what I want to know is what everyone thinks about Michael Jackson and his authenticity. Now that’s a punk rock topic if I have ever heard one.
@Fran There wasn’t an authentic thing about MJ after 1979. I blame his father.
MJ was authentic about his love for monkeys and little boys– and not wanting to be black.
@MattyMat Bubbles was a chimp.
Chimps Ahoy!!
being the authentic, unapologetic you is totally on trend.. It does seem to be the “it” buzz word. I think it’s because we’re all so over fake, controlled and packaged BS. We crave real world stuff we relate to, genuine intentions and down and dirty delivery.
Really deep down we all just want to be accepted for who we are. The anxiety of trying to fit in sucks. My definition of being authentic is demonstrating that I accept that true version of myself by being who I am unapologetically, despite pressure to do otherwise It takes a lot of courage to BE that person you wake up and see everyday in the mirror but when you do you sleep a lot better at night.
Thank you for another great discussion Laurie. I appreciate what you do here.
“Authenticity is a problem in organizational communications,not so much in interpersonal stuff. The audience determines who is or isn’t authentic. That’s the bad news about working with an audience.” From, http://www.twocolorhat.com/090709-free-links
@travka
Authenticity has so many interpretations – I wonder how much authenticity is a positive thing or an excuse for some people to be obnoxious? My MIL is often “authentic,” she says what is on her mind regardless of what people might think or whose feelings she may hurt – she is also very sensitive to any criticism pointed in her direction. It is painful to be around her at times and I am NEVER able to be my self because my relationship with my in-laws would end when I authentically told her to jump off of a bridge the next time she said something rude and hurtful.
This is why I think authenticity is somewhat bogus, what is authentic? We are not fixed in stone. We are mutable, changeable based on circumstance, age, place… I am “authentic” with my children, but who I am with my children has changed as they have.
Long/short – authenticity in organizations is critical for their survival and success. I think it is tough to find an organization that is authentic because, as with individuals, it is hard to first he honest with yourself about who you are – only x10 when it’s a whole group of people, including executives who have bought in on their own superiority.
“Authenticity” does not exist for politicians – it is too buried in the muck we have created and seem to like since we keep supporting and electing these jokers.
“Authenticity” for individuals is often another mask or an excuse to continue being thoughtless and mindless to other people’s troubles, pains etc. because, after all, you’re just being you. To be genuinely authentic, we would first need to know who we are and honestly accept all facets of our own character/personality – which most people are not okay with doing because we want to believe that we are good people so most of us don’t look too close…