There are just some things you won’t do for money.
No no no no no, you tell me. I’ve been unemployed for six months. I will do anything for a job.
I don’t buy it. Just because your situation is desperate doesn’t mean that you are desperate, and I’m sure there are some things you wouldn’t do for a paycheck.
- Cook meth.
- Sell yourself as a surrogate mother.
- Work as a day laborer at a construction site.
- Drive a truck for a private contracting firm in Afghanistan.
Those are extreme examples, sure, but you do have boundaries. Limits. Standards. Pride.
No matter how broke I am, I would never work at a zoo because zoos are sad. I love animals, and I don’t mind animal poo — but I don’t believe in caging animals for entertainment. Also, I would rather lift a pile of rocks than work as a waitress. For what it’s worth, I could never take a job in a meat factory. If my kids were starving, I’d find another way to earn cash. I might cook meth. I’m not kidding.
I know these things about myself because I left my job in Corporate HR and made a few lists.
- Things I would never do for work.
- Things I might do for work.
- Things I really want to do for work — whether I have the skills right now or not.
I’m not much of a dreamer, and the lists were tough for me. On my list of things I would never do for work? My old job — planning and coordinating layoffs for large companies. I have done this twice in my career. I’ll never do it again. Okay fine, whatever, I might do it again for a large sum of money. Let’s move it to the might pile.
But you know what I mean. I had to take an honest look at my job options and what I would really do if I needed a job. I believe there are Americans out there who are exiled from the workforce and linger in the purgatory of unemployment insurance checks and extended COBRA benefits because they think they have to go back to their depressing jobs/careers/industries.
I say you do have a choice and you don’t have to go back to work doing the same thing.
*
So I made those three lists and learned some important lessons about myself.
- I want to write.
- I want to travel, see the world, and interact with people without delivering bad news.
- I would rather work at Target than plan a global reduction-in-force.
- I would rather work as a barista than mediate a dispute between two employees.
- I would rather earn 80% less money than I earned at the peak of my career than sit through another Myers-Briggs training and talk about INTJs.
Now that I know those things about myself, I make my choices accordingly. If I wanted to go back to work in Corporate America, or anywhere America, I would find companies and businesses that offer opportunities closely aligned with my standards. I am willing to put up with quite a bit from my employer in order to have dental insurance, but I’m not willing to lay off another employee without greater accountability from the c-suite. Knowing that about myself, I’m probably not going back to work in the Corporate Human Resources department for a Fortune 500 organization. I’m better suited to writing, speaking, and consulting. I reduced my expenses and I made some tough choices in the short-term to make my life better in the long-term.
I’m willing to settle because I’m an adult and I have responsibilities, but I’m not willing to sell my soul.
So my point is simple: you have to do the work and figure out the psychology behind your unemployment before you post your resume everywhere and pray that someone calls you for an interview. That’s now how life works, anymore. An honest list that outlines standards and expectations will help you to redirect and redefine your job search.
PS — Are you lucky to have a job, right now? Your job probably sucks. Get to work on your lists, too.
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I’m willing to settle because I’m an adult and I have responsibilities, but I’m not willing to sell my soul.
And there ii is, job search philosophy boiled down to one perfect statement.
(man i hope the tags work)
@Sherry You don’t need to sell your soul because you are amazing. #fact
Sometimes you are willing to take quite a few steps down and settle when times are tough, but then again some of those employers are not willing to waste their time on you. When I moved to Orlando, I hit up all of the local fast food joints because I wanted to quickly establish some income while I searched, plus I figured I could work eves and free up days in case of job interviews, etc. I had worked at fast food places during HS and college, so I felt experienced. I was a little too forthcoming with my education and professional experience…I was told that they’d rather not hire me, train me, just to have me leave as soon as I found sometihng else.
@Chris This reminds me of when I applied to Target. I was rejected before I left the store. Too qualified. Bastards.
This is a very helpful blog post and the list idea is great. btw if you are ever in the market for an agent let me know ; )
@amanda Nope, don’t need an agent. You are too kind!
I love this post! I went through the same kind of questions during my unemployment last year. I worked a really long time to get out of retail management and into HR many years ago. I had a part time retail job that I loved that helped get me through, and towards the end of last year a management position opened. I really had to think long and hard about whether or not it was irresponsible to not go for it, given that I do have the ability to run a store, even though my passion was elsewhere. Ultimately I did not apply for it, because I thought it would turn a part time job I love into something I hated. Lucky for me, within a month or two I landed my current HR job and couldn’t be happier.
@Amy Thanks. Glad to hear that you are happy!
And now I have an assignment for lunch today. Thanks for the swift kick Laurie!
David
@david How was lunch???
You could not pay me enough to clean out Porta-Johns. That’s where I draw the line.
Actually, I draw the line on a lot of other things too. Sometimes I think that I draw the lines too tightly, but that’s me. That’s why I am becoming my own boss.
I currently have way less than the $64 that @Sexythinker started out with, and I have no idea where the rent money is coming from this month. But I kinda like working painting to painting instead of paycheck to paycheck.
Heh–I could use an agent, Amanda…
@BZ Scrubby can loan you $25. He got a petsmart gift card for his birthday.
Laurie -
What I like about this post is it not only helps you answer the questions for yourself but also have a clear picture of the “why” questions when you apply for a position. If on paper it appears you are taking a step backwards in your career or a radical change in direction you need to be able to explain that to a hiring manager. The more clarity you have about why you are making the employment choices you are, the more confidence you will have in an interview and ability to convince an employer to hire you.
@Shannon Thank you. Great comment.
As an INTJ I resent that last bullet point. We’re not all bad!
Great idea though.
@rachel OMG please tell me you don’t believe in MB? We’ll have to break up.
@Rachel, I am guessing that she probably discussed INTJ to make all of the E’s squirm. They were all hell-bent to discuss themselves and being forced to hear about the introverts would be painful for them.
(I’m just guessing, but as an evil “I” that’s what I would have done).
@sales I listed it because it’s my husband’s fake profile. Whatevs. All junk.
First wrt Meyers-Briggs, during my career I moved from an INTJ to an ENTJ, which for an engineer is no easy task. Second, I once worked on a kibbutz and briefly had the job of removing the accumulated pigeon droppings from the gutter on top of the cow shed. It was late Friday evening, the sun was going down and the cows had kicked out the ladder. As the sun dropped the chill had started. It had been raining for days so I faced the possibility of jumping off the roof into feet of mud and cow (yup, cows do issue semi-processed food) whatever. I was saved by the electrician who walked a hundred yards through mud and muck to put the ladder back. He messed up his Friday dress shoes so he was not happy. Since that day, the level of “acceptable” has never been the same. “”You want me to make copies while standing inside a climate controlled building not surrounded by feces? That is fine with me.” Horrible jobs make the unpleasant bearable.
@headhunter “Horrible jobs make the unpleasant bearable.” So true. What a story!
I had a brief stint as a hotel maid while I was in college. I will never do that job again.
@suz You have my sympathy.
Worst job? K-Mart grill, unstuffing stuffed tomatoes at the end of the day. Ick!
@marsha YUCK.
Every time we have a long weekend, I seriously re-consider my career! And I got to this point where I was finally running the HR show (for ridiculously low pay given what I’m responsible for), got my certification…and now I really don’t know that I want to keep doing HR! I could get a different kind of job for the same amount of pay that would entail far fewer responsibilities (the bullshit kind), and then I wouldn’t be HR anymore so I’d actually get invited to parties and lunch and stuff!
I know I could never wait tables or work in any medical capacity. I couldn’t work at Starbucks either because I’d just want to punch people.
Honestly, I’d be a happy girl if we could afford for me to volunteer full-time. And I’m not saying that as though my husband needs to be the breadwinner since this isn’t 1950. But just to say that I could be a very happy girl being able to give weekdays to my limited spare-time volunteer efforts. If there were ever a “real job” opening at any of those places, I’d be all over it since I’m already mostly broke and living in a house in dire need of repair. This HR gig sure aint providing the means to live larger.
@H Aria I’m with you on full-time volunteering. I did that before my blog took off. The blog was really just a side project and I did a ton of work at the animal rescue in my town. I’ll say this much: not-for-profits don’t make money for a reason, and it’s usually related to people. Sigh.
Right on re: zoos. Wouldn’t work in an animal lab either.
@Alison Also, pet stores that sell puppies and kittens.
1. Cook meth. Yeah, I would. But get ready to hang with some crazy nut-jobs– and flush $1,500 worth at a moments notice.
2. Sell yourself as a surrogate mother. That ain’t happening.
3. Work as a day laborer at a construction site. Sure– I can work on my espanol— and get into shape.
4. Drive a truck for a private contracting firm in Afghanistan. Hell yeah!! The pays great– and you gotta die sometime, right?? lol
Worst? Hospice nurse and waiter/waitress– true American heroes!! I’m sorry– but people suck when thier dying and when they’re hungry.
@mattymat Hospice nurses are angels. You are right about people who are dying. The families can be the worst, too.
I’ve “sold my soul” so many times I lost count. Its just ego. Let it go. Bottom line: you take care of yourself and your family. Period. Anyone who won’t do whatever it takes to keep a roof over your head and food on the table doesnt have what it takes to handle success either. I cleaned cages at a veterinary hospital, scrubbed toilets in campgrounds and fought forest fires to pay my way through college. After a Viacom layoff I sold microwave cookware door-to-door. You learn that you can do ANYTHING if it means keeping your family safe and it gives you the humility and wisdom to handle the responsibility and success that I EXPECT to follow hard work and dedication!
@phil Wow. door to door? i don’t talk to anyone who comes to my door. good job.
This is an exercise I’ll have to try but mentally, my limits are very different from most peoples in my industry. I would consider being a stripper or go-go dancer before I’d work in document review or as an associate in most law firms.
Document review is basically the lawyer equivalent of working for Wal-Mart, which is something else I’d never do. I’d also never go back to retail since I did that through high school & college + have too short a fuse these days (7 years total experience). A lot of law firms also treat associates w/about as much respect as a slave. So I pretty much can’t work for any micro manager unless the company wants to find that person lying dead in an alley or something. I have a general philosophy that states: if I didn’t put up with it when I was in high school, why put up with it now?
I’m already getting to do what I want (work for myself + in the entertainment industry); the problem is being able to get paid for it. It’s worse when you aren’t getting paid to do what you want & the job is a significant resume boost; if you hunt for other work, people think you’re already getting paid or expect you to leave your dream job for them.
Some unemployed lawyers should be reminded of this. They’re some of the most desperate people you’ll ever meet if their blogs can be believed.
@film I actually can relate and understand your struggle. Blogger, speaker, writer, local tweet-up queen doesn’t equal big cash.
I will never, ever take another job where I have to call strangers and ask them for money. That was the most miserable job I have ever had.
I will, however, take a huge paycut to be able to have a job where I get to write, publish, speak, and just generally “know stuff” – plus mark the occasional undergrad essay.
Laurie, I wish that high-school guidance counsellors asked the kinds of questions you do and that people would stop asking kids what they want to “be” when they grow up and start asking them what they want to “do”. Knowing what I wanted to “do” would have been so much more valuable (when I figured it out, it actually put me on a path I’m looking forward to). Knowing what I desperately wanted NOT to do would have been hugely helpful too. Ah well.
@ian I really feel bad for high school guidance counselors. Mine suggested that I go into the military. Then she saw my ACT and SAT scores and realized that I was already one year ahead in high school and eligible to graduate an additional six months early. She was saturated with kids and finally recognized that a shaved head was okay. Then she was like, oh wait, I should take you seriously. Sigh.
You really do rock Laurie, your comment about MBTI had me laughing so hard I almost peed myself!
@Mark I’m on record calling MBTI a stupid version of pseudoscience. Just junk IMHO.
I think it all about personal values and ethics. I was once given some very good advice on this. Every year, 1st of the year or birthday so that you remember to do it, take a little time to define ethical boundaries for yourself. What would be “over the line” and would make you quit your job? I think your addition of what would you and wouldn’t you do for a paycheck would also be a valuable exercise. By doing this you won’t end up crossing that line unintentional and unknowingly. There are no universal answers, only personal ones.
For me, I don’t have an issue with doing a reduction-in-force (RIF). It isn’t pleasant, but someone has to do it and do it well. I believe RIFs are sometimes needed to keep an organization in business so that everyone doesn’t lose their job. And by being involved I can help influence how we treat employees who are being separated and help engage those “survivors”. Will it cost me a few sleepless nights and horrible days? Absolutely.
What won’t I do? I won’t break the law for any other person or a company – after all, I would be the one to pay the price. I also won’t participate in the mistreatment of others (human or animal). I will do honest, crappy work if it keeps me out of debt with a roof over my head. Flip burgers? Yep. Work at Wal-Mart? Yep. Clean bathrooms? Yep.
Are my boundries right? You see, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It only matters that I have identified them and can live with them.
@michelle I’m with you. A good RIF is important. I’ve laid off thousands (no joke) and it just gets a little old, boring, and sad. I would like to leave that work to someone else. Your comment about boundaries is insightful!
This hits on one of my 2010 Resolutions: Figure out if I want to stay in HR and, if not, what’s next…
Things I know are not next:
Anything in food and beverage. I get so grossed out I stop eating.
Hotel housekeeping. Hardest two days I ever spent.
Anything with blood and guts. I pass out.
Golf course maintenance. I don’t like golf courses — so many better uses of green space.
Anything with cats. I’m super allergic.
I am way too much in my head to make this easy on myself. My performance reviews are a total existential exploration, but at some point, I think it will become clear which way I should head.
@sarah Golf course maintenance? LOL, that wouldn’t make any list of mine. Isn’t it funny how we forget that there are certain jobs out there? Hm. Maybe I’ll write about that.
If it means feeding my kids and keeping a roof over their heads, I would do whatever it takes, provided it wasn’t illegal (since I wouldn’t actually be able to provide for my family from a jail cell). I’d muck out a stall, work as the Grim Reaper HR layoff hatchet, Sit in god awful traffic, work as service staff an/or retail…
@corey Amen. This is why you are an awesome man and a great dad.
Re: This Post
Fuck yeah.
Posts like tis are why I read this blog.
@phillip you are too kind.
This is why I always push hobbies not as a job per se, but a good place to find what you care about in a “non-hostile” manner. Many times what you do for NOTHING tells you more than what you do for money will tell you. Its just using those insights that’s the problem.
@steven I think hobbies are so important. I don’t have any, but I want some. I think it will bring me happiness.
Brilliant inspirational post Laurie.
As is so often the case in life, we can easily list the things we wouldn’t do. By doing this, with pen and paper, we can actually make some out-loud decisions about what really appeals to us.
@stephen So good to hear from you!! Forget the post — I hope you are well!
L,
there are no perfect scenarios, even in pleasantville things were not so “pleasant”…unless your self employed your always at the mercy of someone else (no matter whether your fortune 500 or company of 2). If you answer to someone else there is always the possibility or probability you will do something(s)that doesn’t agree with your own viewpoints or constitution. As much as I enjoy my job most days, I do things that suck, and that occassionally includes layoffs, terminations and disputes. So maybe your asking the wrong question, can i work for someone else. Everything you say you enjoy are things in your control. Things on your bad list, out of your control. Maybe reframe the work proposition. If your an employee you make compromises (no exceptions),,,the degree may vary, and the level of acceptance. If you like the people you work for its all the more palatible…thats another consideration…
M
@Mark Very wise, of course, and we control 10% of what we THINK we control. That being said, I will never work at a circus. I just won’t.
Amen. You said it all, and quite well. Good post.
I wanted to write. So I became a journalist and then moved into corporate communications. Not the love of my life, but like you said: I’m adult and I need to pay the bills. No regrets. Agreeing with yourself to settle doesn’t mean you give up. You just re-direct. All that original energy is still there, it’s just waiting for another outlet.
I had a therapist who used to always say, “You know what you DON’T want. How about what you DO want?” It was a shock for me to learn to think this way (and some days I still struggle), but it’s true. And knowing what you DO want to do is what leads to writing out ideas and desires and then figuring how to make them happen.
@Simone I have no idea what I want. It makes me edgy, which makes me write. I’ll figure it out at some point, right?
This is an awesome post! I do, in fact, have a job, but I hate it. I don’t think it likes me much, either. I have been looking for its replacement for about three years. In that time, I’ve had two interviews. One was by phone. So yeah.
What I am doing is just what you have written about here: I’m using the fact that I have a job to my advantage and being choosy–applying only for what could become my ideal job. I’m not overreaching too much. If I can meet MOST of the requirements for a position, I go for it. I know that I pick things up very quickly, and I know how efficient I am. I know what my true limits are.
They say taking chances can pay off. We’ll see.
To those who are currently unemployed, I wish you lots and lots of luck!
@JMO Awesome strategy. Brilliant. Keep us posted.
To add: Things I will not do:
-work in a kill shelter
-door-to-door sales
-sales of any kind, to be honest
-anything illegal
I currently work with an absolute NEST of micromanagers. It’s maddening!
Hi Laurie,
I love this post. I feel like you wrote that P.S. specifically to people like me. I will get to work on my lists – love this idea. Thanks!
@Christa Good luck!
No more INTJ Myers-Briggs sessions? Made me laugh – I’m an ENFP and love ‘em.
I’m surprised you put a construction job so high in your list of impossible jobs – it’s honest, needed work that usually pays OK.
@dave I’m not talking about construction. I’m talking about day laboring.
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