A friend of mine called me kiddo.
This isn’t anything new. He always calls me kiddo. It’s his thing. The weird part is that, out of the blue, it pissed me off.
I thought, “He is three years older than me. What the heck?”
So I gave this friend of mine some feedback and told him to stop. Then I thought about the reasons why it bugged me.
- Kiddo makes me feel dumb.
- I heard kiddo throughout my career from men and women in HR who wanted to put me in my place.
- Kiddo is a dismissive word used to tell an entire story about power and control in two syllables.
I also know that kiddo is an affectionate term, too, so I’m not too upset. My friend loves me. He would never offer anything but support and kindness.
So I wonder what you hear when someone says kiddo? Do you call anyone kiddo? Are there other terms or phrases you’ve heard that drive you crazy?
{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }
Dude, no one calls me kiddo. I am too freakin’ old. What makes me crazy are all the people who call me “Sir” now. +50, it’s the new pain in the ass!
For whatever reason it bothered me when someone recently called you “adorable.” You’re short. And funny. And you have a great smile. But you’re also fiercely opinionated, super-smart, and serious about what you do. Kittens are adorable. Toddlers in Halloween costumes might be adorable. My adult friends who have serious jobs and big opinions can be fun, or interesting, or exciting, or warm, but rarely would I use the word, “adorable.”
“Adorable” often seems patronizing or a way to nicely put an adult in their place. (and I’m sure the person who said it meant it with love, too. It just struck me as odd.)
I can’t stand it when someone addresses me as “girl.” Hey, girl. Thanks, girl. See ya later, girl. Worse when it’s someone who doesn’t even know me that well. Not long ago a job seeker addressed me as girl three times in one job inquiry email.
Kiddo annoys me too. But when I think about all the terms I hear people use to address others, I realize it’s not that girl and kiddo are pretty tame. Here in Buenos Aires, it’s normal to call friends by a name that describes their physical characteristics (or the opposite, I have yet to make sense of it). Gordo (fat) is a popular term to call your significant other or a baby. If I had to choose, I’d much rather be called girl than fatty every day.
Would you prefer to be called “Ma’am?” “Miss?” “Your Royal HR Highness?” “The Bifurcation Queen?”
Like the previous discussion on feedback, doesn’t the source of the term, as well as the context, make the difference? Was this said in front of a group of your peers during an important business meeting, or in a private conversation as a term of endearment?
And, is this primarily a gender issue? @Frannyo, a certain nameless someone at HREvolution called me “adorable” and posted it on Twitter for all to see, but I know she meant it with love. Should I be offended ? (I’m not at all
)Given the significant number of males compared to females in upper management, the patronizing tone of the term can certainly ring true.
Then again, I laugh when someone does not know my name and says “Guy,” “Pal,” or “Chief,” for which none of these words are terms of affection.
This is one I deal with all day, every day. Apparently out here it is perfectly acceptable to call people “baby” or “sweetheart” or “honey” when you don’t know them from Adam’s housecat. I have very politely said to many “My name is Kelly, thank you.” It has not gone over well.
Last week someone complained to my manager that I offended them by continually asking to be called by my name and not “baby.” And, as is the lot I have found myself in recent months, the manager backed that person. Many of the people I work with refer to us collectively as “the girls.”
I hate it. I truly, truly hate it. No one else around here seems to get the inappropriateness of being called a term of endearment by someone who doesn’t know you, or to even understand what it’s like to have to fight back against being one of “the girls” or the negative connotations it has for quite a few people.
And yes, it drives me crazy, especially having to simply sit there and listen to it and not be able to say anything for fear someone will complain to Corporate about me. Again.
I’ve been called Kiddo too – by my dad (who is no longer living) and by male coworkers, mostly at a higher level than me, at my former company. It’s an endearing memory from childhood but is never appropriate in a professional setting. You can call me Honey or Sweetheart (as long as it’s not creepy), but NEVER Kiddo. I’m not a kid.
Gal. Take a moment. How do you use the word? To describe a black woman? That’s been my experience. When a white person uses the term “gal” they are usually describing a black woman. Gal itself is a pretty innocent word (like “kiddo”), but used in a certain context it is codified language, used to convey much more that the three letters suggest. I started noticing this a few years ago, so I have my own running experiment. When someone says something like “there’s a smart gal in accounting who can help with that invoice”, I ask, “is she a black woman?” Most people are surprised by my question. They aren’t even aware of what they are doing. Sexism, ageism and racism are institutionalized in our language, and it doesn’t hurt to put that on blast every once in a while.
Don’t call me dude, either. Especially don’t call me dude if you are the daughter of my friend. If calling me by my first name is too much of a challenge, you may call me Mrs [last name], even though that makes me shudder because I dislike my husband’s parents so much. But it makes me shudder less than “dude.” I am not a surfer. I am not male. I am not a dude.
KellyO, is your manager gaslighting you? Or does s/he simply have no backbone?
Don’t call me dude, dude!
When I hear the word “dude” I think of the movie “City Slickers” where a bunch of city guys go to a dude ranch to prove their manhood and resolve their midlife crisis. I think of the movie “Dude Where’s My Car?” Where drunk men make asses of themselves. Both illustrations of the term clearly identify it as a masculine term for men doing stupid things. According to Wikipedia, the origins of the term were in reference to ill-bred and ignorant, but ostentatious, men from the city.
I cannot, for the life of me understand how this term has evolved to be a popular term to call women and girls. I know that you disagree with me on this one, Laurie. But if women want to take control of a masculine term, why don’t we take a more flattering one?
It’s condescending. Period. I’m a grown-a** adult woman, now over 40 (cough, cough). I had a fiend who kept calling me “KID” whenever she phoned or emailed, even after I asked her to stop and told her it was patently offensive. It was used to try to put me in my place, even though she was only a low-level manager, and only 4 years older. It didn’t work, so she eventually whipped out more brutal language and let me know *exactly* how little she thought of me, and destroyed our friendship.
Just reading the word kiddo is enough to make my blood boil….there is something truly patronizing about it.
Also, any phrase starting with, “No disrespect, but…..” means I am totally going to disrespect you now and you can’t find it disresepctful. Chew on it……..grrrrr
Yeah, kiddo is, generally, an inappropriate moniker for adults (though my father uses it for me and my sister every now and then – we’re both in our 30s – and in that context seems appropriate).
I had an issue of being one of “the boys” at our office. The recruiting department was all male and the business/admin side was all female, so our administrator would always refer to us as “the boys”. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was inappropriate, especially when she would refer to “the boys” when speaking with consultants and clients.
I’m not trying to get on a whole it’s-so-hard-to-be-a-guy rant. If I had referred to “the girls”, it would have been worse (considering the history of sexism). Of course, neither I, nor any of the other “boys”, would have called our colleagues “the girls”.
@akaBruno: I don’t know, I actually think it’s a lot easier for men to get called endearing terms, because they haven’t had to struggle to be taken seriously all their lives. Having worked in tech and had to routinely correct men who “mistake” me for a secretary or an admin to get them to listen to my technical counsel, I’m a bit sensitive to it. On the one hand, it indicates that you’re a part of the group. On the other, it indicates that you’re the “chick” part of the group.
Unlike the cutening-up/girling kinds of badinage that women get, I’ve noticed that the culture of men and friendly banter includes “taking the piss” out of somebody – insulting them, basically, but you know, as a friend – and it only works because the men doing the mocking are of established equal status and they all know it.
Here in Ontario there is a certain demographic of middle-aged ladies who work in customer service who call everybody “Hun” or “Love” or “Dear.” They can get away with it. Everybody else? No.
I live in the south — where people love their little nicknames and terms of endearment. I would exist in a perpetual state of offendedness if I took offense at every “sweetie”, “hon” and “darlin’” that I heard in the course of normal human interactions. That said, it all depends on the context. I work with a male senior executive who is a harmless hoot, who greets most females with some version of “how are you doing, wild woman?” He truly means no offense and it would be a waste of energy to take such. (he greets males with some goofy-ass nickname he makes up for them, so it’s his “schtick”)
Terms of endearment flow freely in the south. It’s silly, but it’s what we do. Female stranger at convenience store who says “have a good day sweetie”? No offense taken. Creepy leering man in same scenario? Yuck. My male boss? Blood would boil. A female colleague? Annoyed, but not offended. Context, intent, and tone of voice matter alot with these kinds of appellations.
Kiddo could be affectionate or marginalizing, depending on who’s saying it and what the relationship is. I took offense at “girl” for years, but the older I get the less I mind it. My hot button word is “cute” … puppies and kids are “cute”. I am neither. Really old women are sometimes “cute”. So what are you saying when you call me “cute”??? (I’m not that old, dammit!)
Dont come to Alabama. It’s common practice to call people by cute little nicknames, even those you dont know. Sweetheart, honey, sugarpie, darlin’. The one that pisses me off to no end is Missy, as in “Listen here Missy. Kiddo would piss me off too, I’m too old to be considered anyones Kid.
I work in a company that has a large population of hispanics and it seems as if everyone has 2 names, a nickname and their real name and the nick names typically reflects some sort of physical characteristic of the person, Flaco (Skinny), Boricua (Puerto Rican), Chula (pretty) etc. etc. In many latin families its common to call you Mama or Mami as a term of endearment. When Im outside my professional environment, I would be less bothered by someone calling me Mami, but in a work environment, it would shock me as Mami is closely translated to Mother or Sweetheart….not appropriate.
I was called Son by someone at a former company in a meeting. He asked, “what do you think, son?” I literally felt tiny in that room at that moment – and I think I was the tallest one there. I answered his question and didn’t say another word for the rest of the meeting. I do wish I had said something to him afterwards and I think I would if it ever happened again. I guess Son is my Kiddo.
By the way: Uma Thurman’s character in the Kill Bill movies – Beatrix Kiddo.
I agree with the first post, I hate being called sir (wasn’t that dad’s name?). Kiddo is a put down. Maybe he could switch to grasshopper.
Dude, you opened the vault on this one!
For me- kiddo from a friend (particularly a guy) is ok and endearing….
Kiddo from a co-worker, TOTALLY insulting. I’ve also been called a “kid” by my old supervisor (ie: “You’re still a kid, so you’ve got plenty of time.”) What the hell?!
I’m 29…what exactly is the window where you’re perceived as a full fledged adult, yet not over-the-hill and past your prime??
Once the CEO said to me “nice job, chief” after a presentation and I felt like a little schoolgirl I was so happy. Then I realized after awhile, he just used that when he doesn’t remember people’s names.
The better friends I am with another guy, the more I just love calling them by offensive nicknames. I greet my best friend by saying “what’s up pig f@#ker”. There have been a few times at work when I’ve almost let such a name like that fly, but have fortunately held back.
Since I have started working at my current place of employment I have been asked:
1. Are you shaving everyday now?
2. Does your mom know you are working at a sawmill?
3. Are you old enough to drink yet?
There is more as well though less funny. I can’t help it I am 20 years younger than anyone else in my position. Honestly, it usually says more about them than me. Especially since in my head I am thinking (God these people are old). I am also with Alex, I didn’t really think 29 was that young until I came into this position. At least people aren’t assuming I am an intern still
I once worked for a guy who called me “Shirley” (not my name) the entire 18 months I reported to him despite the many corrections I directed back at him each and every time. It got to be a joke in the office – one that he never caught on to!
After more than 40 years in the work place, it’s hard to penetrate my thick skin and I’m not very sensitive when it comes to nicknames.
So call me anything but late to dinner – or Shirley.
When he dropped “kiddo”, was it because you were doing a “swell” job and allowing others to do the “22 skidoo” early? If you haven’t seen flappers perform live or have a drink in a speak easy, you probably shouldn’t be dropping the term kiddo.
All the people that are close to me call me Jimmy. They know better to do it in public, but amongst my friends it is a term of endearment, so I don’t mind.
The comments make a fascinating read. It shows how much upbringing and context give meaning to names.
My entire generation is called ‘kiddo’ by aunts and uncles. It’s a term of endearment. So when a a coworker calls me kiddo it doesn’t bother me; especially since she’s my mom’s age.
My dad called his kids ‘rug rats.’ He used it affectionately and that is how I see the term. My wife considers the term insulting and doesn’t want me to use it. It’s about your background and context more than the words themselves, so we must be allowed to NOT be called by nicknames in the workplace.
I have a problem with Young Lady. One of my coworkers uses it all the time. Not only is it confusing (I work in a predominantly female environment…which one of us is he talking to?) but I feel it’s condescending. As a young employee in an older company (only 6 of us are under 30, and I’m the youngest) I feel as thought my age is a glaring difference between me and my coworkers and being called Young Lady only emphasizes it.
He uses it with everyone, though, so I know it’s not a reflection of my age. I just find it kind of strange that we’re all Young Lady to him.
It really depends on WHO is calling you kiddo. White people can’t use the N-word. They just can’t (not sure why they’d want to, but that’s a discussion for another day). And some people can use terms of endearment without causing problems. Other people just sound creepy. My boss’ assistant has called me kiddo for five years and I haven’t ever considerred the possibility that it could have ever been a dominance assertion until, well, now.
I am neutral on the subject. I’m much more troubled by the belief that you can any horrible thing about a person you like as long as it’s followed by “bless his heart.”
“Oh that Ronald, he’s such an unrepentant pedophile… bless his heart!”
“God love him” works in place of “bless his heart” just as well.
I know I wouldn’t want to be called ‘kiddo,’ and I’m 26. I think more often than not, these terms of either a) condescending or b) used because the person can’t remember your name.
Get off your high horse, or better yet, admit you don’t know the person’s name and politely ask.
Kiddo is a word used by a seasoned WW2 soldier, unshavened, chewin’ on half a stogie, smells like horse piss, who tells a younger soldier, right off the boat “Hey Kiddo– get out there and get one for the Gipper!!” And the kid subsequently gets his brains blown out. The seasoned vet says “Kiddo shoulda been more carefull– where do they get these kiddo’s anyway? Shit– do I gotta do all the work around here??!!”
You’re right to be irritated— call your friend “Oldie McFartbag” next time you see him– but do it all lovey-dovey like.
My take after seeing these comments is that it’s very individual.
In a biz setting, gal, girl, kiddo and other such terms can be offensive – but when you’re with friends and family, they may be fine. Endearing even.
I like calling people by name – it’s clear, clean and respectful.
At one of my first jobs, an older editor who I looked up to big time used to call me “kiddo”. I totally loved it. It was like a father or uncle who I respected giving me encouragement. Coming from anyone else, though, it probably wouldn’t have been too pleasant.
“Sweetie,” on the other hand, is totally condescending and puts weird, uncomfortable distance between women.
I hate Kiddo – it’s right up there with Sport. And, alas, it’s only men who use it.
I love this topic. Words like kiddo and sport FREAK me out. I grew up in the Mid-West and somehow ended up in the Pacific Northwest and the term that drives me crazy is ma’am. I guess I don’t know what determines a ma’am – but I have always thought if you weren’t from the South – then ma’am is just like saying “hey old lady.” I worked with a guy who used to call me ma’am all the time – he was 10 years older than me. I guess he thought he was being polite so whenever he would say “thanks, ma’am” I started saying – “no problem, geezer.” He caught on after a couple of weeks.
The other one I hate is “hon” or “honey” when the person saying it is clearly younger than you. At the spa I frequently visit, the desk people are all high school or college age women. Instead of saying, Renee, room 5 is ready for you – they say – You’re all set in room 5, hon. Or when I’m walking out the door – Thanks, hon, have a great day hon. Someone needs to train these women better. **(when I say spa – I really mean tanning salon – yes, I know skin cancer, blah blah blah, tanning makes me happy and doesn’t hurt anyone else)
On another note – my dad always called his kids rug-rats (and still does) – I never took offense. I know sometimes it’s just what you grew up with and was funny and entertaining at the time. However, when I call a meeting with my staff I would never say, Hey all you rugrats, get your carcasses in here, we’re having a meeting.
There is a time and place for things like that and it ususally isn’t at work, in a professional atmosphere, or in a service industry. Most people do not have common sense anymore. Maybe it should start to be called exception based sense.
@MVDT You, sir, must be joking!
@FrannyO Whoa, you have my back. ((thankyou)) I’ve been called adorable my whole life, even when I’m not, because I’m petite like an adorable Romanian gymnast. It’s an easy word to use around me — and I’m desensitized to it. My poonchy cat, Emma, is adorable.
@Lindsay OMG, gordo. I’ll take kiddo. Or girl. Cultural differences are so interesting, aren’t they?
@akaBruno ((coughcough)) Who called you adorable? ((coughcough)) I can’t blame that one on the alcohol. I was sober.
@KellyO F–k corporate, baby.
@Bonita I don’t mind being called kiddo by someone who is 87 and doesn’t know better. Anyone else will get a blog post written about them, though.
@Peopleshark Gal? Wow, I’ve heard that one used for older women. Now I’m going to listen and figure out if the speaker is referring to african american women. Normally it’s just old sassy broads like The Golden Girls.
@Class/BZ DUUUUUUUUUUDE. I know you hate dude so I try not to refer to either one of you as DUDE. I wonder if it’s a generational thing? I grew up with dude being gender inclusive. Hmmmm…. gotta think about this one, but I’ll watch my tongue.
@Heather Oh I hate those kinds of bitches.
@TheHRD I hate “no disrespect, but…” because it means you’re about to slam me. STEP OFF.
@Jon I’ve made the mistake of referring to a group of adult men as ‘the boys’ and I won’t make the mistake twice. It’s totally demeaning. I was trying to be funny and light — and I failed.
@Renee Here in Ontario there is a certain demographic of middle-aged ladies who work in customer service who call everybody “Hun” or “Love” or “Dear.” My gramma can get away with it, but she’s 81.
@Susanne I live in the south — where people love their little nicknames and terms of endearment. I would exist in a perpetual state of offendedness if I took offense at every “sweetie”, “hon” and “darlin’” that I heard in the course of normal human interactions. That’s how it is in Raleigh. I don’t get offended by strangers. Friends should know me better, though.
@adowling Alabama — the real south.
@LatinaHR I call my husband Papi but not in public.
@Glen Son? OMG, that is horrible.
@OldMan Grasshopper? No thanks, dude.
@Alex There is never a window when it comes to issues of power.
@DanFlan I totally understand the CEO & chief. I use BUDDY sometimes like that.
@Dan Hahahahahahahha. Oh, I mean, uh, those are NOT funny. Not at all.
@Bev Shirely you must be kidding?
@Jimmy It was Mister Burns who called me kiddo. I admit it.
@cavalier You might be right about this.
@Liz I would punch that guy in the face.
@Scott Well look at you, bless your heart. Totally opinionated on this one.
@Jonathan Thank you.
@MattyMat Nah, he’s my friend. I’ll call him by his name.
@Martha This is why you’re in HR!
@Gretchen Sport? Kiddo? You’re right. Women generally don’t use those words.
@alexadra Sweetie is icky.
If I got ticked off at every well meaning but completely condescending name I’ve been called, I would be in really bad shape. I think especially when you’re young (or younger looking), it is easy for people who actually like us to insult us with these cutesy nicknames.
Side story: I was meeting some business associates brought my wife along since I had to pick her up from work. This was the first time we met and we talked for about 20 minutes about what she did (she was working at the time as a genetic researcher in between wine gigs). When she left, they were saying that I was lucky and that she was gorgeous and all that jazz. On the way home, I told her I was embarrassed since we had talked about her doing doctoral level research and one of the first things out of their mouth was about her looks.
She told me to shut up because they were trying to be nice.
The only name that really bugs me is “girls” when referring to grown women. Other than that, it depends on the person who is using the cutsie term, their tone, etc.
While in the service I don’t think my real name was used more than 2 maybe three times. We had an acronym for everything and everyone, and many of those the public would find offensive. I think working in a world where your life can end in a moments notice changes you, or at least your perception.
I call my daughter kiddo – she’s 8 and for me it’s a term of endearment and support. Don’t use it in the workplace usually, but have been known to slip at times – no offense intended to anyone.
JFTR— Contrary to most on this thread– I absolutely LOVED being called “Sir” the very first time. It’s like a JFK thing– I was 23 years old– at a fast food drive through– and the girl said “will that be all for you, sir?” And I was like “No– I’d like more ketchup please.” And she likity-split got me more ketchup! That’s right– I’m the authority here!!
btw– They annoint highly regarded individuals in the UK with “Sir”.
Liz! We may work for the same company because I have that same annoying male co-worker. Or at least a twin company. My coworker is new to our company and has quickly earned himself the reputation of being a jerk with his condenscending remarks at every turn, the most prominent being “young lady.” At first I thought it was a north-south thing, he is clearly a damnyankee in the south. But it is more than that. I have been asked by my predominately female support staff to ask him to stop with the “young lady” crap. He frequently participates in conference calls with our client support staff and clients. He refers to every female in our company as “young lady” and there is about to be a revolt.
My first and only attempt to stop this resulted with the jerk telling me his primary focus was keeping the customer happy, not the staff. I’m still trying to figure out how being so offensive to support staff makes our clients happy.
I can be an evil, wicked somewhat passive aggressive yet thorough opponent in such battles and this one has only begun.
OK, I’ll fess up here…I’m a notorious nicknamer. I give people, usually only those close to me (on my team, etc.), nicknames of all sorts.
Soooo…I had a very talented, smart, gorgeous, young lady on my team several years ago and I bestowed the nickname “kid” upon this wonderful soul. Well, she didn’t take too kindly to being referred to as “kid” on our conference calls, so she politely, and with great maturity, asked me to stop. So I fired her…JUST KIDDING (about the firing). She had sound rationale for her dislike of the nickname, being the youngest member of the team, so I simply stopped. By mutual agreement, I began referring to her as “hottie” on the team calls. Everything worked out for the better.
I think people should always be exploring the boundaries of their relationships. If they’re not, the relationship may be, or are becoming stagnant. Isn’t the verbal reference to any person a reference to the relationship we do or do not have with them?
Makes me think of Kiddo from the Kill Bill movies. She’s only deadliest assasin the world. Kick ass.
@WM She does.
@Renee Wow. You are fired up. Love the comment. Thank you!
@Lance Here’s what I always say about your wife: you married a keeper. She is awesome.
@JennBarnes But I had the nickname ‘the cynical girl’ for years. That’s okay, right?
@johnc I love how the military give a nickname or acronym to everything — how does anything get done?
@Lisa I think it’s okay if you slip up because you’re awesome.
@Donolyn OMG, soap opera! Keep us posted.
@Frank I think people should always be exploring the boundaries of their relationships. If they’re not, the relationship may be, or are becoming stagnant. Uh, yeah, no. I don’t want to explore the boundaries of my relationships with people at work. Gross. I just wanna do my job and go home.
@Laurie “Uh, yeah, no. I don’t want to explore the boundaries of my relationships with people at work. Gross. I just wanna do my job and go home.”
The majority of the US workforce, and I’m guessing the majority of the global workforce, spend the preponderance of our waking and or working hours interacting with colleagues in a relationship-based environment. That is to say, that in order to thrive and survive, we must identify and manage (and even manipulate) relationships to the best of our ability.
I ask you, Laurie: How do we successfully manage these relationships without exploring the boundaries, challenging each other (individually or en masse), stretching the expectations, and learning to accommodate and negotiate within said relationships? “do my job and go home”? Seriously?
@Frank How do we successfully manage these relationships without exploring the boundaries, challenging each other (individually or en masse), stretching the expectations, and learning to accommodate and negotiate within said relationships? “do my job and go home”? Seriously?
Frank, seriously. I’ve blogged about this for years, even before I wrote under my own name. Do your job. Do it with integrity. Be kind, establish relationships at your discretion, or don’t. But your job isn’t your family. Your job will let you down. You don’t really control your destiny at your job, no matter how many career advisors tell you that you do.
Do good work. Go home. Hug your kids. Love your dog. Don’t explore boundaries. Define them.
Just felt the need to add, I was born and raised in Alabama, and the only other state I’ve lived in is Texas. It’s not that I’m not familiar with terms of endearment, I’ve just never encountered a population so hell-bent on using them.
And, I second what Laurie said in that last response to Frank.
@Laurie I dig exploring our relationship like this…ooops, that’s “gross”, or, no it’s not, because we don’t work together. We’re good…for now. We can agree to disagree (with your permission, of course) on the necessity and subsequent management of work relationships.
And BTW-yes, I do control my own destiny. “I decide who, and I decide how much”-Pretty Woman
@KellyO It’s weird in Texas. Fact.
@Frank We don’t work together — and I’m not exploring any relationships with anyone. That’s just not my style.
Wow, having people call each other by anything other than their proper name seems like a sure-fire way to piss people off. I’m originally from Texas, and not using a term like sweetheart, or chief is a great way to let them know you don’t care o speak to them ever again.
I understand wanting to retain control of how others address you, but what about retaining control over the words you use? These go hand in hand. If you wish to control other’s language, it means you must give up control over the words you choose?
The way I see it, no one has any business telling me how to talk. If I want to call someone “shug” (short for sugar), mister, or doc, I reserve the right to do so. If you think I am offending you, ask. I am generally pretty clear about my intentions. For your part, call me what you want.
a guy i once dated who is younger than me occasionally called me kid/kiddo over email. every time i read it, i wanted punch him in the face. you’ll be shocked to know that things didn’t work out between us.
at work, when people who are 20+ years older than me call me kiddo, i just roll with it. all things are relative and in that case if it makes them feel more comfortable working with me, i am all for it.
For me the tipping point is “baby.” Unless you are my father, you better not call me your baby – I don’t care WHO you are!
“Dear” in the workplace drives me nuts — as in, “Thanks, Dear.”
You know my name, I’m not wearing antlers, and I’m most certainly NOT your dear.
For me, it depends on who said it and how.
“Kiddo” doesn’t bother me all that much, but I’ve not experienced it used in a derogatory way.
“Young lady” tops my list of irritating “terms of endearment.” Course, I keep in mind that these terms have everything to do with connotation. “Young lady” is sexist, on top of being an ageism. It was told to me once on a conference call to attempt to put me in my place in front of everyone. I was livid! That person was quickly asked not to use that term anymore and then got all huffy-puffy when he said, “I say that to everyone!” Yeah, right.
Only one person at work calls me “kiddo” on a recurring basis – she’s “the client” – and frankly, I think she’s awesome. I don’t have any problems with her because she’s never used it in a way to be offensive.
I don’t hear Kiddo much at all around this area but I can see where it could mean something either endearing or insulting depending on who said it and how it’s said. I hate it when people use the “B” word in any context. That has always bothered me unless it’s used as a verb. I tend to use the word “Bucko” when someone pisses me off. It’s for when I would rather use the “F” word with an “er” on the end but can’t.
This is an interesting topic. Where I work, EVERYONE has a nickname. I just want to be called Brian. That’s the name my parents gave me. Just plain old Brian. I can even deal with “Brian, the HR guy”. But that’s it.
If I want to call someone “shug” (short for sugar), mister, or doc, I reserve the right to do so
And if you want me to answer, you’ll call me by my name. Otherwise, I assume you are not talking to me.
However. I do make an exception for waitresses and sweet old men who call me “honey.” They get a pass. But coworkers and people who know my name? They are expected to use it.
What pisses me off worse than “kiddo” is when people call me “naive”. But both are annoying. And I won’t feel bad when I steal the people-who-say-thats jobs one day. nope.
I love this topic and I think it’s a deeper issue than any one nickname. One of my all-time favorite seminars in college was a post-colonial literature class where a major theme was the power to name. The idea that the people in control get to decide what to call things has stuck with me throughout my career. That might actually be the One Big Idea that’s stuck with me the most from college.
The VP wants to make up a fancy new job title for the fool who “needs” to be promoted but there isn’t really a good reason? That’s his privilege and I need to find a way to deal. The client who insists on calling me Sue or Susie even though I have never introduced myself that way and my signature line and business cards all read Susan (and only my grandfather and little sister have called me that since I made the switch in the 5th grade)? I now understand more about how you see our relationship than hours of meetings and crucial conversations would provide and you’re either clueless or thoughtless. But again, I have to find a way to work with you.
That said, I call my little sister Kiddo. That’s the right I claim as big sister. She went through a phase in middle school where it really bothered her. I stopped, sort of, but by the time I left for college and she was in high school we’d both fallen back into the habit. I don’t call her that when she’s at work (we work in different facilities in the same system) and try not to do so in front of her in-laws. I say it with love and think she hears in the name all the protectiveness and affection it carries (I hope).
always say kiddo.
well, i did until now.
damn.
Sid.
Bro. It makes me crazy. gets the swine fever juice recently injected in my left arm to boil.
@George Just don’t call me late for dinner.
@col You are easy breezy beautiful. Very generous with your co-workers.
@Cheryl Baby is kind of pervy, don’t you think?
@Lynette I always say “dear” when I’m pissed off. That’s my bad.
@HRBabe Wow, you are easy-going.
@Hooligan Bucko? OMG, I haven’t heard that term in years.
@HR/DC/Brian Nicknames bug me. So I’m with you.
@class One person’s sweet old man is another person’s pervert.
@Susan Aw. My sister would kill me.
@Sid You were doin it wrong.
@Jason BRO? God I hate that, too.
60 plus comments because someone objects to the word “kiddo.” And we wonder why HR doesn’t have a seat at the table? And I suspect Laurie’s friend will be loving her a little less after reading this lot.
When someone calls me kiddo, it’s usually a Boomer and I think – oh they’re trying to make themselves feel younger. That’s because if I’m a kiddo (38 years old), then they must be the young adult (at 55 years old).
Ok dalinks, no more calling any of you “kiddo”. From now on it will be Duck Butt.