Comments on: Letterman, Sexual Harassment & Your Thoughts

By: Donald Visconti

Donald Visconti — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:32:22 +0000

Very well put, Stephy! The only modification I would make, regarding your definition of sexual harassment, is this. It would take more than a woman’s “reasonable ground to believe that her objection would disadvantage her…”. After saying “no” to a date, she would have to cite concrete examples of discriminatory behavior, or of hostile work environment, before claiming “sexual harassment”.
In my agency, years ago, the then Assistant Director of Administration asked out a secretary, and she politely declined. Nothing amiss took place. Then, about a year later, a co-worker suggested the secretary approach him about lunch. Of course, the Assistant Director readily agreed. They dated on & off for about 11 years, then finally got married, in 1988. No hostile environment or undeserved promotions occurred, and people all around wished them well! He then became the Director of Administration, and ultimitaly retired, in 2006. There were 2 retirement parties for him-the first in New York City, then a second up in Albany. She continues to work for our agency.
It’s a good thing that co-worker convinced her to approach him, a year after she turned him down!
One thing I am constantly hearing, concerning David Letterman, was that he was cheating on his wife. He didn’t marry her until 3/09! They had a son together in 2003, but there is no evidence that his trysts occurred after the marriage, and possibly not after the son was born.
As far as I am concerned, it is only wrong for a man to date someone at work if A) he uses his status & power to coerce her, or B) He is married at the time of the dating. Even though David Letterman had a long time girlfriend (a former employee), she was not his wife, until last March. True, he has some explaining to do to her, but I can’t imagine that she didn’t know what was going on, through the years. My guess is that she tolerated his affairs, in the hope that he would eventually settle down with her. If that was so, she ultimately got her wish!

By: Stephy

Stephy — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 06:21:22 +0000

Its not sexual harrassment if its consensual between both parties. Sexual Harrassment is:
such unwelcome sexually determined behavior as physical contact and advances, sexually colored remarks, showing pornography and sexual demands, whether by words or actions. Such conduct can be humiliating and may constitute a health and safety problem; it is discriminatory when the woman has reasonable ground to believe that her objection would disadvantage her in connection with her employment, including recruitment or promotion, or when it creates a hostile working environment.
If she didn’t want to continue this type of work enviroment she would have said something. If we base this as sexual harrasment then whats to say in a relationship the woman can saying after her and her significant other break up “well yea we sleep together and he talked about certain sexual things butI felt uncomfortable the whole time so it must be sexual harrasment”
Duh people! We just need a set definition of Sexual Harrasment and I think it’ll help alot.

By: SL

SL — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 06:09:17 +0000

They should be firing Letterman as well not just the other guy. Sex in the workplace period is unacceptable behavior and costly to a company. I don’t care if he does bring the numbers in and make CBS money! If it were someone of a lessor position, you can bet they would walk him or her out the door immediately! Get rid of the trash (Letterman) and bring in some class. Besides he isn’t even funny! SEXUAL HARASSMENT LETTERMAN! How unfortunate for the woman married to him to put up with that humiliation from him. I would divorce the jerk immediately! Consenting adults? Give me a break! Where are the morals. The man is married!!!! and they are at work to work not have sex!

By: Anita

Anita — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 05:49:20 +0000

well,if what David letterman did was wrong let it be .what of when a woman has sex with her fellow work? Is it every thing a man do that people will figure out to be bad remember that sex are done by two people and for a man like David l know women will like to come close to him or even sleep with him.l am a woman l konw the many faces of a woman but we always like to pretend please leave David alone to continue his late night show for we that enjoy it.

By: alyx

alyx — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:38:47 +0000

If the women themselves did not file charges and did not feel harassed, why did this man consider it his duty to help them on this inappropriate behavior. Of course, it was not good. He is a married man with a young son. Do lots of men do it? Yes. In fact, if truth be known the Halderman person probably had illicit affair with Birkitt before his divorce from his wife. Just leave it alone.

By: Ginny

Ginny — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 02:50:44 +0000

Of course it is sexual harrassment. One has to be very careful these days. It would be nice if David Letterman’s wife took a little more pride in her appearance. Good grief!

By: John

John — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 02:00:56 +0000

I heard that Johnny Carson did it too.

By: Donald Visconti

Donald Visconti — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 01:42:17 +0000

I have since read some of the comments posted earlier, before I posted my 1st comment.
akaBruno, my guess is that you attend the University of Iowa. According to Barry Dank, a/k/a the “Dank Professor”, that school has the most intolerant attitude of any college in the country, regarding consensual dating between professors & students, and also any two people where there is deemed to be a “power differential”. Barry Dank is a leading voice in eliminating all bans on consensual dating; people should check out his writings.
I now wish to present a scenario which would involve “crossing the line”. I firmly believe that, when one’s Civil &/or Constitutional Rights are being violated, that it is OK to “bend the rules”, in the name of justice. Keep in mind that I am not a lawyer, but I’ll share what one thought of my idea.
Say I am a professor/employee in a college/workplace that “prohibits” consensual dating, even involving consenting adults, away from the school/workplace. I and other unmarried people decide to hire a private investigator to check out the dean/human resources director who is enforcing the ban. Maybe he would prove to be “clean”. Or else, we learn that he is guilty of one or more of the following:
A) He is a married man, who often cheats on his wife.
B) He has an outside source of income, which he is not reporting to the I.R.S.
C) He uses recreational drugs, like cocaine.
After the private eye provides our group with documented evidence of any of the above, one of us is seen at an off campus/workplace location, with his/her student/different ranked employee. That person (I’ll be the make believe protagonist) is called to a meeting with the dean/HR Director. He says something arbitrary, like “We have evidence that you are dating one of your students/underlings. You know our rules against that kind of activity. I am going to have to terminate you over this”. I then smile, reach into my vest pocket, and pull out an envelope, saying, “Not so fast; I wouldn’t want your wife/ the I.R.S./ campus police/local police to see this, old boy”! The dean/HR Director opens the envelope, and his face turns ashen. “You will keep this between us, won’t you”, he says, in a near whisper. I respond, “Of course I will. Furthermore, I give you my word that I won’t ask for money, or a promotion. I just want you to leave all of us alone, regarding who we see after work. You can have that; I have 3 other copies, all in different locations. Do we have a deal??” The shaken dean/administrator agrees that we do. I wish him a good day, and walk out of his office, knowing that I have delivered a blow for justice!
The way I see it, blackmail statutes were written to prevent people from extracting money, or other undeserved consideration, from others. If my rights of privacy & free association, away from work, are being violated, I have a right to take extroadinary action. In 2000, I ran this informally by a lawyer. He agreed that it would be very unlikey that the typical D.A. would press charges against me, over this. An exception would be if I was the head of a political party, and the D.A. was a member of the opposite party. The D.A. may then want to embarrass me, even if he/she knew that this would be a weak case.
Realistically, would the D.A. even find out? It’s not as though the dean/HR Director would want word to get out, about his conduct!
I would be interested in reading the moderator’s opinion, and other views on this hypothetical scenario.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 00:31:48 +0000

I think that when your at work you should be working. I also don’t think it’s appropriate for a boss to be able to do that and should lose or leave their job if they’re in a relationship with those that are working for them. If you’re getting paid you are supposed to be working and if your on break I think hugging is ok but or if it’s someone at the same level but a boss with their assistants i think that as an authority should have left his job or
been fired!!

By: WB

WB — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:53:36 +0000

Although, I absolutely don’t condone Letterman’s behavior, if the women consent freely and feel absolutely no pressure to be intimate with him, it’s not sexual harrassment.