An associate of mine reminded me of the quote, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”
I don’t go around repeating pithy quotes, and I am no fan of Sigmund Freud, but I am intrigued by how this website is a nexus for many who are thinking about work, struggling with some form of love, and can’t seem to find balance and harmony in their lives.
I am not sure what advice ANY career advisor can offer to someone who is truly at a crossroads. Here are some thoughts.
- If you don’t have a job, love hard. I don’t care if that love is directed towards a spouse, a family member, or a cat. Pick something and love it hard and without any second thoughts. Work selflessly on behalf of the person (or animal) you love. Then remember: a job will follow. A job always follows.
- If you have a job, love someone anyway. You will never love your job in sales, finance, or marketing as much as you love a spouse, puppy, or a baby.
- A job can be loosely defined and fill a bigger purpose in life. We need income to survive. It’s important to have a job because work saves us boredom, vice and need (Voltaire). If you can’t find a straightforward way to earn money, do something for free to make the world a better place. Save yourself from boredom and vice, and your personal and economic needs will be met.
I would also like to remind everyone that there’s a place for creamy ice cream, cold beer, and salty potato chips when love & work are the cornerstones of humanity. That’s a fact.
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But Laurie, a little vice never hurt anyone…
Vice is the spice of life!
Of course, it is also the name of a major crime department in most police departments….I think I will go back to work now.
Enjoy #TRUlondon, say hello to everyone and tell them I said nice things about everyone…including Boorman!
I just wish that doing something for free to make the world a better place would pay the rent. And leave a little extra for buying creamy ice cream, cold beer, and salty potato chips. But then it wouldn’t be for free, would it?
What if every time you clean your comforter, one of your three cats (deliberately??) pukes on it within that week?! Do you still love them? I do!! This seems to always happen, so I now lovingly and affectionately refer to them as dumbasses.
On a mildly related note to that and to the topic at hand, there are some times in which I love to come to work to get away from the everyday little stressors of family life, but by the end of each work day I love to come home to my family because work can never fill the places they do, even when the cats puke…
Ok— I promise to love [949]ImTheKillaGod more before I blow his stinkin’ head off while playing XBox 360 Live, Modern Warfare 2.
@Michael I love Vice. Miami Vice.
@BZ Free is an amorphous concept.
@Chris Listen, I have a cat who likes to pee in/on cardboard boxes. Whenever I get a Fed Ex box, I have to lock it in the garage until I can open it. I love him, anyway. Also, on your related note, it’s all about balance. I worry about people who have NO LOVE and go to work and look for meaning. It’s so disappointing. Or they have no work and put the onus on their family members to fill a void. They demand to be entertained & want someone to help them find meaning. It’s all very unhealthy.
@MattyMat You are a generous man.
My mother has always told me that you must have balance in your life. Work, play, athletics, spirituality, education…all of it. When any one is greater than the others, everything will suffer to some degree. And, I agree, since I have seen how grouchy I get when I work 14 hour days…I exercise less, I am not as nice, et cetera.
“A job can be loosely defined and fill a bigger purpose in life”. In my professional life, I have always preferred to think of my job as “play with purpose”. I do note that the older I get, the more my priorities have changed and the more time I want with my sons. Which means less time at the office.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy indeed. It’s important to have meaning in your life other then work. Work should not define who you are, althought society puts emphasis on what we do for a living. However, its up to us to know that work is just a means to play. I learned that the hard way after working really really really hard at a job that I loved loved loved, coming home late and working on days off, missing out on family functions and all….thinking that my hard work and efforts was making me a really good employee…. then to find be given the boot on a Friday so that the daughter in law of the owner can take over my job on a Monday….I realized that I was a working fool!!! I will never again work like a fool…that is not to say that I will not give my all during regular work hours and an occassional late night when necessary…I just wont make the same sacrifices of giving up my family life for a job that is here today and can be gone tomorrow….
It took me while to implement #1. And I learnt it the hard way. Not having a job – for someone who has been crazy busy building her marketing career since age 16 – made me lose my sense of purpose. It took me such a long time to realize that a job SHOULD NOT be your reason for getting through each day. Being jobless and getting married somehow coincided at the same time and I realized after a few months that I was wasting this early honeymoon period with my husband in moping about not being employed or generating an income.
I’ve found my balance and a sense of purpose by volunteering and doing internships that keep my analytical brain busy. Hoping it all leads to a paid form of ‘purpose’ sometime soon
I recently went to hear a speaker talk about Wellness as it relates to work. She put up a pie chart divided into thirds that was to show the ideal 24 hour day with (only) 8 hours of work, 8 hours of sleep, and 8 hours of pleasure. There were some snickers in the audience. Some people might have been laughing at the notion of only working 8 hours but I’m pretty sure most of the laughter was because she said that ideally we should have 8 hours of PLEASURE every day.
I love some aspects about my job, and there are some aspects I dislike. Actually I feel that way about both jobs, one full time and one part time. But I think everything in life is like that, family, hobbies, etc. I feel fortunate to have two jobs I feel this way about. Now, what I would really love is to be able to do animal rescue full time, and work part time, at my full time job, and give up the part time job. But I do get to do rescue work on a volunteer basis while I make a living at two jobs I like, so I can do the animal rescue.
Believe me, there are so many things in my life I would love to change, like spending more time with my own pets, making art, traveling and spending more time on the road with my husband – but right now, at this moment, this is what I have to do. So many of us are in situations like this now and we adapt. I guess it gets back to that “compromise” topic mentioned earlier. Let’s start the revolution!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
@Sabera: having volunteered myself (living for about $5 an hour in the SF Bay Area) I can promise it’s a very rewarding, but also difficult experience depending on what you do. I made many, many close friends through my experience, and I truly wish I could have seen them since I left in late 2007. Regardless, make sure that you do it for its own sake, because you may not end up creating any networks through it. I didn’t with mine, and I’m okay with that because of the friends I made.
@Glen: I’m usually unconscious for those 8 hours of pleasure.
I really dig your Humanity, sense of humor and general coolness. Thanks for the reminder that life is more than work and love is all we got!
Shoot, I’m all loved up, I just need that j-o-b to drop! Not having that inevitably affects the quality of play/love, despite good intentions.