I saw this on Passive-Aggressive Notes and it made me think of my brother. He always needs a job — not that he would qualify for pizza delivery at Cardo’s. He can’t go more than 10 minutes without talking on his mobile phone because he’s important & stuff.
My sister needs a job, too, but she’s totes irritated with me. It turns out that being ‘the foremost HR professional in the family’ doesn’t mean shit when it comes to siblings and advice.
Well now I’m nagging her in a passive-aggressive way.
Who says I’m not perfectly built for HR? My skills will not be wasted!
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Laurie,
Your observation holds true in university career services as well. You can’t do career counseling with family members. In our office, we all send our family members to our colleagues, so if you can get another family member to say “talk to Laurie’s HR colleague/friend/whatever,” you’ve got a shot.
Otherwise, they’ll just play the favorite game with your advice: “Yes, but..”
@Geoff Do you ever wonder if people are just too stupid for feedback and common sense?
I don’t think [most] people are too stupid for it. I just think that in the case where there’s a prior relationship (like with a sibling), there’s too much of an emotional crap filter to allow things through without serious bias.
“Laurie’s telling me what to do–just like she did when we were kids–I’ll show HER ass by not listening..!”
A related aspect of this is the dynamic that occurs when people get FREE advice vs. paying for it. There’s a much greater impression of value if someone is either paying for the advice/service or at least is told what it would cost him/her on the open market.
“Really? $150 per hour for career counseling?”
Now, I’m not suggesting you *charge* your sister (“Mom! Laurie’s making me pay to talk to her!”) because, well, that could cause more problems than it solves. But you might say that an hour of your time as an HR professional is billable at $X, and certainly wouldn’t be that high if you didn’t know what you were talking about.
Disqualifying applicants on the basis of not having a babysitter could be considered a violation of Title VII.
I recently made the same mistake trying to “help” my sister find a job. Now she’s irritated with me. But I’m sorry. When you tell me that during the interview you used the words “Pissed” and “Screwed” and “My last Fucking boss” I’m going to have to tell you that there is a reason you probably did not get that job…
when you figure out how to get your sister unpissed with you, would you let me know so I can fix mine?
@Geoff you are totally right, of course, but I’m looking for validation that my awesome advice to my family members is worth more than gold!!
@Bryan OMG, you kill me. What are you? An HR pro or something?
@heather Oh dude, my sister loves to be mad at me. It’s her full-time job that doesn’t pay, which is why she can’t find another job.
CAROLYN QUIT READING MY BLOG AND GETTING MAD AT ME. NOW GO FIND A JOB AT STARBUCKS LIKE I TOLD YOU!!
If you talk to my brother I will talk to yours.
Deal?
P.
a friend’s little brother once quit his job at the town pizza joint by writing his resignation on a paper plate and taping it to the cash register.
“MICHAEL DEMARCO QUITS.”
classic!
@MN Headhunter I have two brothers and if either one asks me which one I’m talking about in this post, I’m going to identify the other brother.
@Col I’d pay money to get a copy of that resignation letter. Awesomes.
I am sorry Laurie. It just kinda slipped out. I won’t let it happen again.
I once got a niece a summer job at my company and did the hour commute with her every day for three months, there and back. She talked almost incessantly or asked questions, listened to the answer, and then asked the SAME DAMN QUESTION over again at least twice.
Swear to god, good deeds are their own punishment.
PS: I get your blog through RSS, so first time I’ve been onsite for a while. Love the new look. Where’s the mosh pit?
Robyn, my Mom always says that no good deed goes unpunished. She’s usually right.
Whoa – that’s a genius recruiting strategy.
And as the oldest sister out of three girls – I have learned that neither one of my sisters listens to me or thinks that I might know what I’m talking about when it comes to ANYTHING. Lately I’ve stopped asking questions and offering advice. They don’t listen to me anyway.
I’m saving my advice for those who appreciate it… complete strangers.