I’m not looking for a job — but my good friends Jim D’Amico and Shauna Moerke are on the hunt. Their search has prompted me to think about what I would do if I went back to work in Human Resources.
Here’s my disclaimer: I haven’t held a real HR job in over two years, and I’m not an ideal candidate for any job beyond barista. My education, while expensive, is mediocre. I don’t have my MBA. I’ve never run a budget of more than $250,000. While I can make my way around a balance sheet, I wouldn’t brag about it. I am cranky, I don’t work well with other HR professionals, and I would want a senior-level job that would move the function of HR in a new direction.
I might not deserve this job.
Oh yeah, one more thing: I would only go back to work for a company that wanted me more than I wanted them. That’s how I do everything, by the way — job offers, marriages, and relationships.
So here’s what it looks like when I have a new HR job.
- I would walk into this job with an exit plan. It’s fine to put together a plan to whip the HR department into shape and implement vanilla programs & processes that have short-term benefits for the organization. I could do that in my sleep. Ultimately, I believe that HR works best when managers and leaders take responsibility for HR — and implementing that change involves education, training, and recruiting new employees to replace the ones who don’t want to manage and lead. Then you have to reinforce a new style of interacting with colleagues, peers, and supervisors. Everyone needs to raise their game. What’s worse is that most senior HR practitioners have a very short tenure of 2-3 years. Not much time. So I have a choice: I could spend my time building an HR empire or I could do meaningful work so that an organization could function without me and without a bloated HR infrastructure. I don’t do bloat.
- I would have honest conversations around the words engagement and culture. I would ban the casual use of those words from my office. I might mock the first person who recommends that I hire a consulting firm to complete an employee engagement survey. I believe in metrics, and I believe in direct communication with the workforce, but let’s stop using metrics to justify a management philosophy that is trendy and hip. I believe that product, performance, and results should drive the culture & engagement agenda — and you need to look at your position in the market, your total rewards plans, etc., before you decide to have fun and throw parties to celebrate the wackiness of your employees. I love high-performing cultures and I like to have fun, but I’d like to stop jumping on the pop-psychology bandwagon to satisfy a silly desire to be the next Zappos.
- I would automate, standardize, and outsource as much of the HR practice as possible. Everyone says this. No one means it. They’ll dump the payroll lady and the HR clerk who loads data into the HRIS system, but no one thinks deeper. Most attempts to outsource and automate are made through the lens of cost-reduction. Let’s reduce costs, fine, but let’s also do the right thing. I am unimpressed with a firm that can save you a couple million bucks by automating your non-exempt hiring. My Gramma can save you a couple million bucks. I would push technology to the limit in an attempt to rethink all facets of work and HR. I would also make sure a technology agenda goes hand-in-hand with a culture & engagement agenda. It’s all so tightly intertwined.
If I do this right, my next job could evolve in cool ways that could consolidate talent in our industry and make HR relevant in ways that might scare the heck out of the average CFO and CIO.
So if you’re the kind of awesome company that wants me more than I want you — and if you’re willing to take a chance — let me know. I might listen to your job offer. Otherwise I’ll continue my goal of being a writer, a crazy cat lady, and a local weather girl.
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When you say push the limits of technology, do you mean that would expect everyone to use their Outlook calendar to schedule appointments?
That looks like a stretch goal to me!
Let’s do a trade… I find you a company that fits the above and you find me a girl and a CEO of me. If she can do both, awesome.
Laurie trying to implement these changes I think the exit strategy isn’t something you need to spend too much time with, once you try to implement these ideas the company will plan it for you! Change in HR is a 4 letter word.
i think ’2′ is really important. the hardest thing about finding a new job is not the job part; rather, its finding the right employer. and we all know you can’t have one without the other. in fact, i’d rather have the wrong job with the right employer than the other way around. it’s impossible to truly understand the inner workings of the culture, the leadership styles, your peers, etc. employers get to do a background check on a candidate, but it’s impossible to really do a background check on your employer. i wish i knew my boss could be such an asshole before signing up to bend over backwards for him. i guess to some extent you have to expect your boss will be an asshole irrespective of what any background check tells you.
still bitter about last week, boss? you bet!
A little heavy topic for the day after Christmas but I’m game!
Let’s say my company hired you and you were my new boss (I have no desire to move any further up the ladder as all Sr mgmt makes me wanna puke) what would my role as an HR Mgr look like? Main focus now is AR (we don’t use the term employee) so would I be a strategic partner with my clients counseling them on how to get the most production out if their associates? Or spend a majority of time coaching managers how to stop crying and deal with their difficult associates?
Also, would you get HR equal bonuses as our counterparts in IT and accounting so I can finally check that off my bucket list!! Thanks
Well said.
Laurie is not your father’s HR person!
Excellent piece, and as a technology person, I especially appreciate the importance you place on the effective use of technology not simply to reduce costs, or automate ineffective processes, but rather to help drive more lasting and important transformation. I have been convinced for a few years that the ability to successfully assess and implement the right technologies is among the most essential capabilities for HR and HR leaders. We had a really interested ‘technology and culture’ discussion early this year on the Happy Hour show, and I think it would be a great topic to revisit sometime.
Aww, thanks for the plug! Any company would be crazy not to want you to come in and shake things up like you outlined. That is if the have the balls for it. Well, companies, do you?
Personally, I like you as a crazy cat lover (especially since I am too). Excellent, piece. Keep the coming.
On another topic, I’m curious: Have you ever had any encounters or heard anything about US Navy HR on the civilian side? I’m about to start a job there, and I’m curious about ways I can improve my relationships with HR people.
Culture mongers want to be like Zappos, but would Zappos have the same strategy for culture if they actually paid their employees more than $8/hour? That’s why it’s called STRATEGY! You kinda have to be The Most Fun Company Ever in order to retain people for a wage that’s less than some other states’ minimum wage.
Even if I had the budget for implementing The Most Fun Company Ever activities, I wouldn’t. We did that before and ended up with a culture of EXTREME entitlement. How do you make high salaries plus awesome perks work? Oh yeah, this funny little word called accountability. But that’s no fun, so the manager would rather schedule a putt-putt golf outing! They always opt for being Disneyland Dad and think that will somehow inspire loyalty and high performance.
“But if we love and snuggle our employees, they’ll never leave us, and they’ll tell everyone how we’re the best company ever!” Where the hell did that mentality come from?
You are my idol!
Hey Laurie, I like your points about automating and standardizing HR practices, though I am not a big fan of outsourcing. If you can work on the first two issues smartly, you shouldn’t bother about it anyway. I think managers consider outsourcing as a easy way out when they are faced with the problem of reducing cost. Very short sighted decision in my opinion. It might bring some immediate financial gains, but not good for the long term benefit of the company.
@Michael If someone couldn’t schedule an interview in Outlook and expected my HR department to do it, I would work hard to get that person fired. Very hard. In a NY minute. They’d be gone. Those days were over for me in 2001 when I first managed people and put an end to that kind of Servant HR approach. Assholes.
@Paul Snap, I wish I knew someone for you. I’d scoop you up in a heartbeat if you would accept a polyandric lifestyle.
@Paris22 OMG, that’s so true. I’m dead before I walk through the door.
@Charlie i’d rather have the wrong job with the right employer than the other way around. This is so perfect. It hurts. The wrong job can be a transformational experience. The wrong employer is a long, hard slog through mediocrity and depression.
@HRJefe I see the job as the HR Generalist as a project manager and consultant. We would do everything in our power TOGETHER to make sure you never faced another whiny manager who didn’t try to fix his/her own problem first — AND you would be allowed to ask the question, “Should this really be part of my job?” If you’re being asked to do something that is not part of your job and you do it, you’re a sucker. You would be encouraged to push back and help managers and supervisors truly lead their organization. That’s part of being a project manager, yo. If your clients can’t/won’t improve and lead, you would be authorized to work with their bosses to replace those managers & supervisors. I’ve got your back. Also, I’d look IMMEDIATELY at HR compensation because I know your basic comp needs are not being met. You can’t pay peanuts to the people who are transforming your organization. #fact
@Chris Thank you. This is why I’ll never get another job in HR. I’m unemployable in my field.
@Steve I’d hire you in a heartbeat to own the technology agenda platform.
@HR Minion Few companies have the balls or budget for me.
@Sterling Thank you. The crazy cat lady stuff is more like a permanent condition. I have no idea about HR/Navy stuff. Hit twitter and ask around.
@HAria I want ribs, bacon, and Pepsi for lunch every day — and then I want potato chips at 3PM with a triple grande peppermint mocha. Oh, don’t forget — I want a party for just showing up to work.
@Kmac Wow, thanks.
@Sakib You don’t have to outsource in the traditional sense — like wholly rip apart a function — but you can simply and effectively move certain tasks out of HR to empower your current employees. When I went to work for a company that outsourced reference checking, I almost cried with joy.
You’ve really hit the nail on the head and I would be proud to work WITH you in a heartbeat. Trying really hard to pursue this line of thought in my current role at my level with my clients as I have found we can be influencers on a smaller scale. Of course it would be helpful to have a boss who had the balls for this approach so until then I’ll continue to fight my own battles until it gets me canned!
@HRJEFE I hope you get canned and go down in a blaze of glory.
I believe I finally figured out why we see HR in a slightly different light. I think you have more faith in your “average” person than I do. I love the idea, I just don’t think it is realistic without a huge paradigm shift. Maybe I am just jaded and cynical and need to take a look a look at myself in that regard….
You inspire me! I am typing this note with corporate handcuffs, meaning that I’m at a company that will not allow me any leverage to implement change (training, accountability, education etc.) I work for an old dog who believes that his old tricks are the only way to survive (its got him this far as compared to closing the business)…hence, I’m polishing up the resume, building up my network, doing my research so that I may plan my attack for the new year job search…you put words to the thoughts I have….ironically I’ve been here for almost 3 years now which is the typical HR life span….I’ve over stayed my welcome.
You radical! You should be ashamed…this would mean that people would be accountable, they would have to me innovative, they would have to…work. For shame.
Can I add that I also believe that we need to see a reduction in pacifying employees. I mean, it is work, afterall. We should abolish 360 reviews, hotlines, anonymous reporting and all of the related. If an employee has a concern, let’s discuss it. I went on a PiP because 3 employees phoned the hotline 2 months after being employed as their Manager. They reported that I had not done anything but they were afraid that I was “going to” change things. WTF?!? Of course, like most Companies, there was an over-reaction and they wanted to take steps to “correct” me…the person who had not done anything, had not changed anything. Jaded…you bet. But, that is what I would like to see HR do…man up. Problem employees should be counseled out the door instead of believing that the sky is falling.