Here is the Punk Rock Employee Handbook as written (& amended) by Laurie Ruettimann.
- Don’t be an asshole.
- Don’t divert attention away from the mission and vision of the organization.
- Don’t cause problems that are bigger than the problem we’re trying to solve.
- If you don’t like it, leave.
*Picture provided by Random Vandal.
How about another guideline:
If a strategic or operational HR issue at work cannot be equated to the lyrics from a Ramones, New York Dolls, Sex Pistols or Damned song, then the issue does not exist.
Peter
Laurie,
Haven’t talked to you in a while, but like your blog. Good Work!
Shoot me a note when you can and let me know where you are now.
Whitney
We here at Badconsultant humbly submit:
2a) You don’t deserve your salary unless you earn it, get over it and get back to work.
BC
I like it — for other people, of course.
Me? I deserve my salary, regardless.
How about “I [HR Director] deserve my salary because you just fired the Office Manager, Facilities Manager and Accounting Administrator and Executive Assistant and gave all of their responsibilities to me. Oh! and you have zero intentions of replacing any of those positions.” Cheers, HR Director
David, well said.
How about:
5. HR is not the House Bitch or your Mommy, pull up your big kid panties and do it yourself.
Hilarious!
Part of the “no assholes at work” rule: If you’re going to be a turd, go out and lay in the yard.
Shut up and get back to work. All of you. No really, just do the right thing. If people would do just THAT, we wouldn’t need any employee handbooks. And it’s so easy. Just do the right thing. If you don’t know what it is, ask. Someone will tell you. Probably the HR director.
The thing is… sometimes the woes of the new hires is that when they do ask about somnething, nobody has the answer(s)…
5. This company is not a democracy. Step up or step aside.
6. When all else fails go see HR; they have a form for that.
7. HR is very busy, we only have time to please one person a day. Today is not your day….. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
After looking at the above comments, maybe this website should change its name to ¨blowhardshr¨, because there is absolutely nothing punk rock about it. What a disappointment. Seriously, punk rock has a very special set of ideals that are absent in all form from the spirit of this website and its readers. Change the name, or I’ll snot-rocket on all of you.
Humbly, Josh
PS– I love my job more than all of you, probably because I never sold out my punk rock idealism.
Josh, you win for the best comment evah.
8. The role of HR should be to make and enforce policies and rules… doesn’t mean we have to follow them. Now pass me a beer and shut-up.