From a Troubled Reader.
She needs advice on how to deal with The Good Ol’ Boys Club — and she came to the right place.
Hey Laurie, I need your help with something. I know I should be happy that I have a job in these troubled times etc. etc., but this is really eating at me.
My workplace has been short staffed by various illnesses and incidents for nearly two years. I have gone home way past sundown and come in on the weekends. A promotional opportunity has come up and instead of opening it up to everybody, the powers that be have decided to award it to the lowest-level employee in our office, no interview required. He never stays late, comes in early, or does more than the bare minimum of what’s required. He plays golf on the weekends with a VP of our corporation. I can think of at least fifty of us, with advanced degrees, experience, women, minorities, and individuals over forty that would have qualified for and put in our dues for such a position.
I guess what I want to know is, as a woman, and a minority: how do you cope when you work twice as hard to get half as far?
Bigotry and sexism are intolerable. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this, and I have a million suggestions for you. Unfortunately, none of the solutions are easy because this situation isn’t easy. In order to affect change in your organization, you need to speak up, ask questions, and demand accountability. In the best economic times, it’s tough. In the middle of a recession? It can mean career and financial suicide.
You don’t have to take this lying down, though. Here are some basic ideas off the top of my head.
- For starters, you can talk to your supervisor. I know, I know. You feel like you can’t.
- You can talk to someone who has influence with your leadership team. Ask for advocacy. Express your concerns about the lack of opportunities for women and minorities within your organization.
- You can send a letter to your leadership team — anonymously — and share your concerns.
- You can contact your corporate headquarters or a parent company if one exists.
- You can write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. You can contact the media. Anonymously or not.
- You can write an anonymous blog about what you’re experiencing.
- You can unionize.
- You can get a lawyer.
- You can bring your concerns to the attention of the EEOC to see if you have a claim.
How committed are you to change? How committed are you to workforce equality? How badly do you want to get out of there and leave this behind? Those are all questions that you have to answer.
As I advised in the case of sexual harassment, I think it’s better to use the company’s time & resources to find another job. Let the marketplace speak. If enough talented people walk away from the company, it will fail.
Know this: you’re not alone. I’m sure many readers out there can sympathize with your situation and will have great (and possibly contradicting) advice.
Let’s hear what everyone has to say and keep us posted on how you’re doing out there.
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There are at least two sides to every story, but based on what you’re telling us I’d suggest Laurie’s last two suggestions – get a lawyer or speak to the EEOC – are your best bet. I would start with a lawyer, though; one you trust or one who has been recommended by someone you trust. One that represents employees for a living…not employers. As you do so, you should try very hard to come up with every piece of evidence that may support the hiring manager’s defense – that’s right the enemy’s defense. Try to poke holes in your own perception or argument. Are you clearly qualified for that role and do you have a demonstrable record with the organization? What does that male counterpart have that you don’t in terms of education, prior experiences, etc. Most Important=does the company have a track record of internal postings and interview processes or is it notorious for backroom hiring? If the former, a major question is why didn’t they do the same in this case? Sorry you’re dealing with it. Illegal or not, it’s bad business!
Well, I have been on the inside and the outside of Good ol’ Boys clubs. I can tell you that everyone complains unless they are “in”. This is not isolated to work…sports, cliques, social circles, etc. In my experience, it is not as most people think. It is just a group of co-workers who share similar goals.
In response to “Troubled reader”, I am not familiar with your Companies promotional policies. Some allow appointing as opposed to interviewing. Have you done ANYTHING to stand out or to make your company think that you might want to promote? But, if you are upset that they play golf together, what have you done to be “included”? Gone home past sundown…welcome to the club. I have averaged 12 hour days for years and often work 16+. The recent economic changes will likely reshape your company so this will be the trend for the future.
I know this sounds harsh and I am not picking. But, a I hear from alot of people who are looking for a handout and your discussion makes no mention of your initiative. “IF” you have done so and your company has a specific policy around fraternization, nepotism, promotion, et cetera, then Laurie has given you wonderful advice. Me? I would look elsewhere because I am lack trust of “systems”…and I have problems with authority. Remember, if there is an actual “club”, you never know if your HR is also included or how far it reaches. Be careful about blogging because you could be liable for what you write. Few outside organizations can have any lasting effect on a company, and you will likely be there after they have withdrawn. Tread wisely and cautiously.
As a woman and a minority, I’ve been there way too many times to count. But I stopped biting my tongue a long time ago, mainly because I got tired of taking all of that anger home with me. So now, I speak up, early and often. I make sure I have the facts, that I know and understand the back story and I share my thoughts, opinions and recommendations. I never go in just wanting to vent. I go in with possible solutions. I also think about each situation and I choose my battles. Is this worth the fight? How will this ‘fight’ benefit me in the long run? If it’s worth fighting for, I fight, and I fight hard. If not, I still share my thoughts, but I move on. If there are countless battles to fight in the company and you’re feeling like you’re on the losing team every time, then it’s time to move on to a new company who will appreciate your time and talent.
In my opinion, report it to management first and if you don’t get resolution, then leave. But don’t quit first without even giving them a chance to try to remedy the situation. I believe there will be a lot less tolerance for harrassement and descrimination as more women and minorities move into management positions.
The comments to your post on sexual harrassment were very interesting. I was surprised how many people would choose not report it but just stay and suffer. I think a lot of people don’t report harrassment because they assume management won’t do anything about it. I’m sure there are still a lot of companies that behave that way but I know from personal experience that there are also companies who will investigate the situation and fire the perp. In my case, one of my lab techs was being sexually harrassed by another tech. She reported it to me and I reported it to HR. The perp was fired by 2pm the same day. So sometimes it does payoff to report it.
Most Boy’s Club’s are of a particular political, educational, religious, and lifestyle persuasions— if you do not fit all of these, you’re out, period. Alot of lazy ass kisser’s get promoted because instead of staying at work “after sundown”, they’re “working” when playing golf with the boss. They might not even like the boss– but they’ll firmly plant their lips on anyone’s butt to get ahead. Also– these “superiors” promote others they feel aren’t going to be “whistleblowers” to maybe some indescretions the company might have near the top. If you come across as remotely honest and forthright— chances are you’re not gonna be chosen for inside positions– and inside information.
I’d say, in your situation, I wouldn’t suggest getting a lawyer, or contact any agency that would get back to your employer— judging from what you described as your work environment, and the individuals that work there– they’d have you in the unemployment line for anything they can think of– aka. Keep a Low Pro. Try to research companies that fit with who you are as a person– get in touch with them– and a position might become available in the near future. Good Luck—
“I think it’s better to use the company’s time & resources to find another job. Let the marketplace speak. If enough talented people walk away from the company, it will fail.”
Good advice, Laurie…
…especially to anyone who feels the need to use the phrase “as a woman, and a minority”. So you think you’re special? Prove it.
Two words : Golf Lessons…
M
Okay so “golf lessons” is harsh…there is no easy way to deal with this, in better times leaving would be an option, not today. I would suggest going to decision makers and asking why you were not givien consideration for a job that a less qualified person got…If you make it about you its better then if you “complain” about someone else.
Laurie your comments were harsh, but all very viable…you do need a strong stomach for any of them, weaklings sit this one out…
ouch!
M
Do the legal, keep working hard and keep a detailed journal. Why? Once the EEOC becomes involved, you can bet you’ll be attacked. It may be subtle – or not – but they’ll probably come at you.
Go through your background and make sure there isn’t anything there that can be unearthed and used against you. If there is, think carefully before you proceed.
Above all, make the right decision for you and don’t be intimidated.
Two early comments are often key to understanding: (1) There are always at least two sides to ever story, and (2) Does management know that you want to get promote.
Before you start opening fire, you might want to find out the reasons why this person was promoted. Perceptions can be different than reality (of course the perception could be correct…)
An example. A while back, I worked for bank. In one department, we were always hearing grumblings about sexism or racism involving promotions. We looked into it. On regular basis, the newest person on team (often a man) was promoted. We checked with the managers. We learned that the position was a promotion from non-exempt to exempt. We also learned that the next promotion level required some college level course work in accounting (no degree requirements). Most of their new hires did not have the required accounting courses so the company would pay for the courses and books needed for promotion. Employees would only need to pay back the costs if they did not successfully complete the course.
The complainers did not want to take the coursework. For the complainers with the neccessary accounting eduction, they did not want to work overtime or “unpaid” overtime. The newest hires were the ones that wanted to get promoted. They did the necessary work and let their managers know that they wanted to get promoted. The complainers were not getting promoted because of an -ism. They were not getting promoted because they did not want to be promoted or they did not meet the minimal qualifications.
@Charlie There are at least two sides to every story. You know, I was going to write that — because that’s my HR brain at work — but no one who feels like a victim ever really hears what you want them to hear when you say, “There are at least two sides to every story.” Your advice was so good, though. It’s almost like you do Great HR for a living!
@High Priest “Tread wisely and cautiously.” Good advice for most situations at work.
@Crystal Awesome comment. Thank you for sharing.
@Suz AOL comments can run from crazy to insightful.
@MattyMat Own your own career. Do your homework. Like it.
@Pharma Wow, is it me or have you been replaced by a deadender from the British Empire?? (I’m going to be over there on 15-20 February. Want to meet in London and catch up?)
@MarkF Golf lessons = lame. That’s boomer advice.
@Marsha Good points. Thanks!
@Salescomp Good points. Sometimes management is lazy and racist, too. I think it’s interesting how people get so fed up with their work environment and yet feel trapped. I ask myself, why aren’t we up in arms about THAT, too?
Talk to an attorney and/or the EEOC. Make it clear that you’re not lodging a formal complaint at this, but also make it clear that you’d like to document the discussion and date stamp it because you intend to discuss this with your employer and want there to be no mistake about your motives somewhere down the road if you do, in fact, make a formal claim. If you can show that you made a good faith effort to help your employer improve and they chose to ignore your concerns you will make a much more sympathetic witness.
Any employer with an even half-way decent anti-harassment policy will have provisions for reporting harassing or discriminatory behavior and a clause on retaliation. Invoke their policy — even better, bring a copy of it to your meeting with your manager or HR. Preface your discussion with the appropriate management within your organization that you’ve read that policy and appreciate the fact that you work for an employer that wants to do the right thing here. Then lay it out for them. If you’ve ever seen Patrick Swayze’s classic “Roadhouse,” you can appreciate that Rule # 1 is “Be Nice.” Rule #2 is “Be nice.” You be nice until it is time to not be nice. I could have also said “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I am helpless in the face of a Swayze reference, God rest his soul.
Check your state’s rules on the admissability of tape recorded evidence in a civil case. If you live in a state where it is allowed, you should consider recording your complaint when you make it. And, again, be nice. The idea is not to catch your employer in a “gotcha” so you can be made to look like a person who is rigging the lottery in her favor. The idea is to solve a business problem and prevent that business problem from occurring in the future.
****Also check your employee handbook for policies on the use of recording devices on company property. If it is expressly forbidden, you may expose yourself to a termination for cause or give your employer a potential ceiling on damages payable to you in the event this finds its way to court. They call this “after aquired evidence” which is really not a stance most employers want to take in front a jury that controls damages, but could be of value to your employer in a bench trial.
A few things you may want to consider — and these may not be what you want to hear:
1) Working late and putting up with crap from an employer are not the same thing as being a top performer. I’m not implying that you’re a bad performer or that the folks who are getting promoted are better than you. I am saying that, if the company has a documented and legit paper trail showing that their promotion decisions were based on measurable performance standards, you’re not going to get anywhere with your claim. And you will lose in court. And losing in court will be damaging to you personally and professionally. Winning can also be damaging, but I’ve seen human beings go from promising future leaders to emotional basket cases over employment litigation that didn’t go their way.
2) You don’t mention what you do. If you’re both salespeople and the golfers are seeing more recognition than you, the advice renderred previously about golf lessons may be worth considering. I hate golf, but I understand sales are made on golf courses. That’s why I work twice as hard and earn half as much as our salespeople. I know my limitations. Understand that a million dollar contract that was signed in a golf cart is just as valuable to your employer as a million dollar contract that you signed at your desk or in a client’s office. So don’t automatically assume that this about being in a boys club to which you cannot gain entry.
3) Salescomp mentions that the requirements for a job vs. the perceived qualifications may not always align. Sometimes critical qualifications for certain roles may not be visible to peers. For example, one of the other divisions in my company fabricates well heads for oil rigs. This organization is ISO-certified and their ISO certification demands that people in certain roles in the organization have current, valid professional licenses in order to serve in these key leadership positions. In truth, these professional licenses really have very little to do with what these managers actually do – they’re technical certifications that mostly apply to the junior designers and technicians who are perfoming the grunt work that is necessary to design a well head rig. But those managers will stop being managers or have very limited promotion opportunities if their certifications are not kept current. Unless you have access to all of the credentials these folks have obtained, you may be making some inaccurate assumptions about their qualifications.
4) You mention that you are a minority female. There are many professional organizations that exist for women in business and minority women in business to empower, mentor and provide networking opportunities to their members. Join one or more and start leveraging the fact that you are not part of the good old boys club to your advantage. Girls can have clubs too. If you don’t have one in your area, consider starting a chapter. There about 100 listed here alone.
http://www.minorityprofessionalnetwork.com/org/professional.asp
Good luck. I hope this works out for you AND your employer. I’m sorry this was such a long reply. I feel strongly about this subject. I have no patience for employers that make decisions on the basis of gender or race. But, as an HR pro, I also want to have the chance to fix a situation because it’s right thing to do rather than under threat from the EEOC or an ambulance chaser. And I can’t fix stuff if I don’t know it’s broken (or perceived to be broken).
@Scott Whoa, this is a thoughtful reply. Thank you!
I don’t agree with the comparison of Good ol Boys clubs to cliques or other social circles. While they are a group all their own they also give off the air of entitlement, superiority, and, most importantly, power. And they are all male. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous cliques in the work place. Like minds gravitate towards each other and people want to feel included. But the ol Boys network is all about power and control, in my experience. I have seen a few of these “boys clubs” at work and it’s all about creating their own illusional royal dominion. Good luck Troubled Reader. On the other hand, we all know how popular royalty seems to be these days!
I was sexually harassed at work. My boss asked me to meet him at a hotel, and I didn’t.
The following Monday, he called me in to say I was not doing my job well. Things deteriorated from there.
I met with the VP of HR and he listened ‘sympathetically’. Or so I thought. The next day, I received a memo outlining, in detail, and in order, our discussion. Almost verbatim. Either this guy had one heck of a memory, or the conversation was recorded without my knowledge.
I was told that I had to ‘confront’ my boss, with his boss as witness and tell him specifically, “do not ask me to meet you in a hotel ever again.” Without doing that, HR guy said, they could not do anything for me.
So I did, and it was humiliating.
My boss continued to be difficult, and I was told that I still had to travel out of town with him as needed. The prospect of that was agonizing.
Eventually my boss quit. Then his boss (a woman) became my boss. She kept a diary of everything I did…wrong.
The wheels of retaliation were in motion.
So, I quit. Then I filed a lawsuit. It took months, and I could not find a job. That was an employment gap that was impossible to explain.
I was finally deposed – a lone woman in a room with six men. They delved into every aspect of my personal life. It was humiliating.
My ex-boss was not deposed.
The day after my deposition, I was offered a settlement, which I accepted. I had to. I had no money and no job.
Taking legal action is absolutely the last resort. Lodging a complaint with the EEOC is just slightly more appealing. Taking it to HR makes working intolerable – because they don’t care. It is their responsibility to protect the company.
It took me years to get over that period in my life. I originally trusted my boss and the company. They all betrayed that trust. I’m much older and wiser now. I have zero tolerance for anything that resembles harassment or favoritism. And that gets me in trouble. However, I will not sit back in silence and watch a company screw its employees.
The sooner something is said – far before it is intolerable – the quicker you get your resolution. Or your walking papers.
My advice – and I’ve been there – is to find another job. Because as Laurie stated, with the way that company operates, the company is broken. Find another job and do not look back, do not feel bad that things ‘could have been better.’
No job is worth compromising your deepest values. But let them know, in writing why you’re leaving.
Documentation is the first step to ending their vile practices.
I was going to offer some brief, non-graceful advice to make sure that you voice your professional goals to your bosses and use legal action as a last resort. But, I can’t beat Crystal’s or cblue’s comments, so I’ll just say: re-read those two comments.
Some really great comments here… on a really important issue (that I wrote an entire book about).
Bottom line: doing work and leading the charge are totally different skills sets. Not only is working hard not a prereq for leadership, it can actually show a *lack* of leaderhsip skills if the work you’re busting your hump doing could be consolidated, delegated, or eliminated.
Look at it this way: the top of an organization, because the people there are so leveraged, generally is blind to what’s happening in the trenches. If you’re in the trenches, constantly behind your desk, grinding it out, you’re invisible. Period. Which not only means that leadership can’t see you to promote you, it also means you’re not out there, meeting people, mixing it up, communicating, bridging relationships, fostering new communication channels, etc.
Now when you consider that a leader’s job is mainly communication-based rather than work-based, can you see how being the diligent soldier can not only make you invisible, but also send signals that you don’t have the raw skills to lead?
I’m not taking this particular leadership team off the hook. Leaders have responsibilities to make themselves unblind, to alert people what’s required to lead and get promoted, etc., which they don’t seem to be doing.
But I’m less of a old-boys-club conspiracy theorist than a confederacy of dunces theorist: people are simple creatures who do what’s easy… and that means responding to only the most obvious clues right in front of our faces.
To overcome this challenge, you need to get seen and make your intentions clear. And, let them know their mistake: leadership needs to know the cost of their recent decision on morale, trust, and productivity.
When they realize that their promotion practices are hurting productivity and costing them money, they’ll listen. (And when they see you making that case, they’ll recognize you as something more than an employee with a gripe; they’ll see in you someone who “gets it” and could possibly lead.)