I really don’t care about good customer service. I don’t want you to go above and beyond. You don’t need to wow me. You barely make enough money to pay your rent and utilities. I want you to relax. Please don’t worry about smiling and making conversation. I don’t need it.
Here’s what you can do for me:
- Do your job.
- Be quick about it.
- Stop asking me for my ID when I pay with my credit card.
That’s right. This really is a blog post about you asking me for my drivers license when I’m trying to buy a shirt and a necklace at the mall.
Let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t communist China and I don’t have to show you my ID. It slows down the process, it exposes my information to the public, and it doesn’t really prevent identity theft.
Furthermore, it’s not your job to ask for my drivers license. It’s your job to get my fat butt into a pair of expensive and unflattering jeans. That’s it. Take my money and let me go. We’ll both be happier.
*
Please don’t send me email messages telling me you hate customers like me. I’m a great customer. Really. I am. I swear.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
Sometimes I needed it though. Sometimes the easiest way to get through an eight hour shift is to be chatty and helpful, because otherwise, you are just standing there. Smile and you’re halfway to feeling it.
And usually no one checks for id unless it says SEE ID on your card.
Amen.
And also–I’m not sure whose idea it was that customers should swipe their own credit cards. I’m thinking if I am spending a bunch of money in your store, you can do me the courtesy of taking my money yourself, instead of making me swipe it and use that fake pen that every germ-laden customer before me has used. But if you INSIST on making me do it, do not wait until I have put my card back in my wallet, put my wallet back in the diaper bag, and put the diaper bag back in the bottom of the stroller to say, “I just need to see the back of your card.” If you’re going to be one of the cashiers who checks the back of my card, let me know that up front.
Better yet, don’t put me in front of a device that disconnects the signing part and the card-checking part by 10 minutes.
Also, my card is a small strip of plastic, and your device is a screen that won’t take the loops in my name without interpreting it as me hitting the “done” button. Also, the signature on my card has been worn off for over a year, so you can’t read it anyway. Don’t pretend that you are comparing the signatures for real, because if you were, you would notice that there is no resemblance between them. You’re just doing it for the supervisor’s benefit. I get that…but at least be timely about it then.
I’d bitch about some more stuff, but the electrician is going to be here any minute, and I’m still wearing pajamas with giant cupcakes on them.
@sealz Oh crap, fine, we can chat — small talk, whatever — but don’t ask to see my ID. This happens to me everywhere, these days, and I’m told that you’re doing me a favor. You are not.
@Kerry Whoa. Where did you get those cupcake pajamas? My favorite part is how I scan my card during the transaction at some stores and it’s fine — but at other stores I have to wait until everything is done. Which is it? Why are there no uniform standards on credit card machines? Do we really have *that* much innovation and competition in the space that every damn machine and every damn store needs a different process?
I work part time at a cafe and I only ask for someone’s ID if it says SEE ID on the back. Usually they have written this themselves. What I really love is when they have left their ID in the car or something and get pissy about it. I’m like “Hey, you wrote it on there douchebag”.
Except I usually don’t say Douchebag.
In the atmosphere of the cafe I tend to use “Fucktard”.
I used to sign the back of my credit cards—and everytime the cashier would ask me for my ID. Then I wrote “See ID” on the back of my credit card and now no one asks. Reverse psychology maybe?
Yesterday I was at Target, and they had one register open, the line was 8 customer long, and the cashier was “in training” for the holidays. The lady who was training her just stood there and watched her struggle through putting the sales in. Here’s an idea—when the line gets hella long—the fast, experienced person should get the customer asses out the door and wait to train the person when the line dies down. So I can go home and lay on the couch with my dogs. Done.
If I as the cashier at Macy’s where I am working over Christmas after I have been laid off from my job suggest politely that you might want to sign your credit card in case someone does steal it and then get a fake ID to match a valid credit card, don’t get all pissy with me.
I, who has had a credit card imprint stolen and made into a card that was then taken on a $6,000 spending spree across eastern New Mexico and the Texas Panhandle, including Rosie’s Cantina in Amarillo, where someone paid to watch nekkid women, am just trying to help.
Don’t worry, Laurie. After the second customer got annoyed, I stopped mentioning it and just folded and bagged Ralph Lauren shirts and pants which were not on sale, lady, someone put them on the wrong rack, not that I could prove it because Macy’s systems were so crappy that the register prices never matched the advertised prices SO HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW? $9 an hour with no benefits is not enough money to take crap from people.
So, I go to this meeting, in downtown Portland, and I park in a tall building of offices. 3 hours later, I am done with the meeting, I go down to the garage, find my car, and drive up to the ticket booth to pay and leave. I hand the man my ticket, and my credit card.
“We do not take the credit cards,” he said.
“Okay,” I replied. And hand him my debit card.
“Oh no, Sir. We do not take the debit cards, either” he says, shooing my hand with the card back at me.
“Okay…what do you take?,” I ask, somewhat pissed.
“Cash.” He said, quickly.
“Well, Friend, I guess we are at a standstill,” I said. “Because I have no cash. You might as well ask me to pull two goats and a chicken out of the trunk for payment.” (I think I might have said, pull them out of my ass, not sure).
Anyway, long irritating story short, I had to re-park my car, walk to an ATM, pull out cash, go back and pay the man, to leave. Cash only?? Portland garage in a business building? WTF?
Thank you! I went in New York Co last year and purchased what became my last purchase with them. I paid with my debit card and the woman asked for my ID, for a pin based purchased. I naturally asked why and she said she needed to verify my identity. I asked her wasnt that what my personal identification number was for? She told me if I didnt show her my id she couldnt process the sale. The manager said the same thing. I advised them to visit the Visa regulations behind their agreement with Visa to offer debit/credit services. I havent been back in there since and I didnt purchase the item I had intended to buy.
Laurie, agreed. I work parttime at a dept store and I NEVER check ID, even when they make a comment about wanting me to check it. Honestly, I really don’t care who they are and if the card belongs to them. Not my job to make people honest and to be identity watchdog. Don’t like it? Pay with cash stupid. All I care is that you buy crap and not return the items later.
Kerry, really. I work in cosmetics and you are the type of customer that we never give samples to because of your entitled attitude. Also, maybe we don’t want to touch your germy credit card, so just swipe the stupid thing or leave.
Yea, btw, no amount of money is enough for heinous customers to talk to me like I’m trash. So, I just give it right back to them and I usually have a loyal customer for life. It’s just an ego trip, put’em in their place and they’ll settle down.
I’ve been operating like this for over 10 years in retail and haven’t got fired yet so the customer is obviously never right. It’s the illusion of making them think they are right.
Wow. I suddenly feel like a much nicer consumer.
Laurie,
I think you should have changed the focus of the blog to the store or regional manager. Attack the company policy. The cashier “$9 an hour with no benefits is not enough money to take crap from people” is just doing what they have been told to do. They are most likely, not trying to screw up their gig- I would cut them a little slack.
No way they know what is in the Visa Agreement- I believe their ID checking has the right intentions- to prevent credit card fraud.
Then again- I can be naive.
Consumerist.org is constantly ranting about two topics: stores that violate the credit card merchant agreement by demanding to see your ID, and stores that try to check your receipt before they’ll let you out the door. I agree with them on both.
I once got so annoyed that I called Visa to report a store that was demanding ID. Visa directed me to a form on their web site where you can report stores that do this, and supposedly they’ll threaten them or something.
But my biggest rant is stores that grill you for all kinds of info unrelated to your transaction — email address, zip code, etc. I’m not going to have my transaction take longer in order to help you with your marketing. I always politely say “no thanks” but it irks the crap out me.
I’d rather wait and check myself out at the grocery store than get in a line of a clerk that will launch into their script: greeting, request about shopper card, finding everything you were looking for, etc. Glad they finally dropped that paper or plastic question. They should have put those self checkouts in years ago!!!!!!!!!!
Beth—you don’t have to touch my germy credit card (unless you ask to see the back, in which case you’re going to have to touch it anyway). Just let me know up front that you’re going to want to see it afterward. Don’t watch me pack it up, and then ask for it five minutes later when you’re done ringing me up. That’s really inefficient.
I would agree that people shouldn’t talk to you like you’re trash. I don’t think anyone on either side should talk to anyone like they’re trash.
Laurie,
You have to be 18 yrs old to purchase via credit card…your fetching young looks are the only reason for your ID dilemma.
The key to building a great retail experience is helping people understand their extended purpose. In understanding a grand intent it is much easier to appreciate the now! The education matters more than the results.
- Dave
I will draw the line when they start requesting DNA samples.
Personally, I hate it when I have to drag all these items out and then the cashier hands me EVERYTHING back at once, I am trying to jam my ID back into my wallet, zip up my purse, take the receipt and the bags, and I’m getting that “hurry up” vibe from the person behind the register…. sorry that I just spent $$ in your store and you can’t give me three friggin seconds to get myself together!
I can’t get over the no debit/credit in a Portland parking garage Dale mentioned. That has never happened to me in all my years in the PDX area. Are they insane? Dale – which garage was it? Expose!!!
Hey Laurie – I mostly, almost completely agree with you. As a customer, I’m annoyed when people ask for ID, especially when I am (a) spending money in your store and (b) spending a fairly average amount of money, one that shouldn’t send up any red flags.
I worked for Barnes & Noble for many years and I would only ask for ID with a CC transaction. in a few situations. If a card was unsigned, I’d ask in the nicest way possible. And if the customer was making a purchase well above our average transaction, I did as well.
I just spent money at Fossil here in Chicago (at Snootyville, aka Water Tower Place) and honestly, I thought they were going to pat me down and do a perp walk. Not very warm and fuzzy. How companies are bringing it down like that in THIS economy is beyond me!
But I have to say, I’m even more annoyed at hard sell. Say hi, let me know you work here, and then get the hell out of my way until I ask you a question. I don’t need anyone to give me a five-minute monologue on the mysteries of shower gel. Kthxbye.
I spent 10+ years in retail in my prior life. Let’s cut ‘em some slack – it’s a policy developed by a demented corporation that talks about customer service but delivers epic fail. The cashier is just trying to keep their (probably much-detested) job.
The one exception I’ve found: Nordstrom. Always friendly, helpful and the send me hand-written thank-you notes. Nordstrom is customer service, not just lip service.
I’m a man who wears expensive socks and shiny shoes, therefore I deserve to have the sales people recognize that I am their better, and coddle me accordingly. I find it abhorrent if shop at a store and am not immediately given mineral water, and told how handsome and funny I am. If eight bucks an hour doesn’t buy that sort of ass kissery, then I’m not sure what the world is coming to.
Actually, one advantage of living in the middle of nowhere is that excellent customer service I recieve just ordering stuff on-line. No chit chat, no fuss.
Hey HR Underling, I used to work at a bookstore and experienced the same situation many times and it always brought a smile/smirk to my face.
Laurie, unfortunately many stores require their cashiers to prattle off rediculous things to every customer. Sometimes doing your job is a pain in the ass for everyone involved. This is due in large part to the fact that the person making these rules doesn’t actually have to abide by them!
What I’d appreciate is if the store clerks would let me do my own thinking. Nothing pisses me off quicker than getting barely one foot across the threshold and having someone instantly leap into my face with “MAY I HELP YOU HERE’S OUR SPECIALS FOR TODAY WOW I THINK THIS $500 OUTFIT WOULD LOOK GREAT ON YOU HERE LET ME SHOW YOU THIS COMPLETELY UGLY PURSE TO MATCH THESE COMPLETELY UGLY SHOES YOU NEVER LOOKED AT I’M JUST MAKING SURE YOU KNOW WE’RE WATCHING YOU SO YOU DON’T TRY TO STEAL ANYTHING OH I DON’T THINK OUR STORE CARRIES ‘YOUR’ SIZE.” You’re destroying your own industry.
Agree. And I especially agree w/Alison Green. Do not ask me for any info. I politely say “I don’t give out personal info” & the clerk tells me she can’t move on w/out it. then make something up I tell her. It’s petty, but this is one of my biggest peeves.
Giant screen TV, XBox & 22 games, $800 subwoofer and 12 $80 Arnold Palmer golf shirts?? RED FLAG
A lousy package of Underwear and beef jerky?? NO RED FLAG
Get it together people.
btw– my last ID I liked showing to people though– I looked like a serial killer!! Awsome! (I was pissed cause I didn’t want a drivers license or drive at the time– it was for a job– and it was raining and cold– funny.)
On the back of my credit card, I wrote, “Your fly is unzipped,” because I think that I’m really funny. Most people laugh and some point out that I have to show them my ID now because I have no signature (but it’s still worth it). I had one person sniff and say to me, “My fly is not unzipped, thank you very much.” She was right.
Dale and Jen, cash is the official currency of the US, not plastic. PDX is a cash-focused area. Dale, I wouldn’t have let you out of the parking garage either. I always carry cash and leave lots of change in my car for back up since you never know when the revolution is going to come.
@ Dale – ran into the same thing on the Tollway in Dallas – I just drove through and went on my merry way. I now have a roll of Susan B Anthony dollars in the glove box. I never have cash unless I am traveling outside the country or through airports.
I don’t like the last minute sales pitch at the cash register. I don’t like being solicited to sign up for the store’s credit card to save 20% on my purchase. Honestly that 20% savings on a new spanx is not worth the additional credit inquiry ding on my credit report.
I seriously detest stepping up to the register and hearing, “your phone number please.” FU. Why do you need my phone number? Then I am asked for my email address.
I may start replying “no thank you” as someone mentioned earlier. I give them fake email addresses and fake phone numbers just to avoid prolonging the payment process any further.
Wow. I used to love retail back in the day. I loved helping and interacting with customers and *gasp* being nice to them. After reading some of these responses, I think I’d hate to go back into it.
My boyfriend, up until recently, worked in both retail AND the restaurant biz (now he’s in restaurant management). I have so much respect for him being nice and excelling in the face of all the a**holes out there.
I never was asked for my ID back east when making CC purchases. It was only once I moved to California. I think more than one store associate told me it was the law. I have no idea if that’s true or not, but honestly, if you want to take a quick glance (or pretend to) to make sure I’m me, I’m fine with it. It’s not the end of the world.
And honestly, it doesn’t take THAT long. That extra 2.2 seconds of your life ain’t gonna make or break you, folks. If you think it is, then either a) you need to plan your day better and get better time management skills, or b) you need to get your head checked, because most likely, you are not that important.
How hard is it to smile and be nice and take things as they come?
HOLD ON – Get the rest of you in a minute.
@Allison That’s where I learned about my rights. Love that site
@HR Mark It’s plastic, dammit. PLASTIC!!!
@David Yeah, uh, I look like a homeless school teacher. It’s not my looks.
@Kirsten No one rushes me. No one!
@Jenn I must get to Portland to witness your outrage.
@Patrick I know, I know. Fossil can kiss my fat ass, though.
@Marsha Sometimes I get lousy customer service when I’m at Nordstroms post-workout. I know, I know. I smell. Doesn’t mean my money isn’t any good here.
@HRPuf I’m 100% pro-internet when it comes to shopping. Also, you are dashing.
@AMJ I understand. That’s why I support breaking the rules.
@Aja Amen.
@Brandi I don’t mind pettiness.
@MattyMat My current ID scares children.
@Deadhedge All money is psychological. Money is what we make it.
@Donlyn You can always say “no thank you.” Always.
@MeredithElaine I dunno. Sometimes it’s really hard for me. Maybe I’m shitty.
I have no comment
Selfish and charming post))
And yes, it is really annoying when society forcing you to smile, otherwise you are out of regular, and freking out psychologists.
Nice cat..
I work in eCommerce now, happily behind a massive iMAC, designing cool stuff. But my first job was as cashier in retail. Unfortunately, they come up with all these awful sales pitches you are supposed to rehash for the customer, as well as check ID, make them write their phone numbers on their checks, etc. Ugh. I wish I could have weasled out of it, but we had “shoppers” who would pretend to be real customers that would go through your line to make sure you were doing your thing.
Have more sympathy for the poor cashiers. They’re just doing their job, and it’s a crappy one at that. Yeah, it’s a hassle, but in the big scheme of things, who really cares? I consider myself lucky if I get one that is fast and not texting or scowling at me, which is 95% of the cashiers here in SE Florida.
I have never been asked for my ID for a credit card purchase. But it really wouldn’t bother me if they did. I, like a few of the others mentioned above, detest it when the salesperson asks for personal information and also tries to push the candy bars they have on sale. I have been told (by sales people and managers) that if they don’t try and push certain items they will get in trouble. How ridiculous is that? I used to work in a department store ages ago but I think things are much different now. We all had to be polite and helpful, not pushy. Now I find that many of the sales people act like you are supposed to bow down and kiss their asses. Not all, but a good number of them. I get attitude often and believe me, I am nice to these people…at first…depending on their actions. A few act like it’s such a tremendous bother to press a key on a register. When I went on the road trip with my husband in his semi I encountered this often with truck stop employees! C’mon now don’t be witchy to the customers just because you are working in a glorified gas station. There were a few however, that went out of their way to be helpful and friendly. All they really have to do is be civil for pete’s sake! What I also observed is that most truckers are nice, very friendly people who spend 11 hours a day in their trucks mostly on their own. Is it too much to ask to be friendly to these drivers when this is, for the most part, the only human contact they get all day?
Okay, the ID thing? I’m not overly concerned about. But why the hell do the ladies at Great Clips need my goddamned address? Really, like bulk mail advertisers don’t already kill enough trees? And when I say to cashier — with a smile and a wink and in a pleasant tone of voice — “You don’t need my address,” the poor woman acts as if I just slapped her granddaughter with a bowling pin. I explain that I get plenty of mail that I throw away and don’t want any from them and get the, “I’m just doing my job. You don’t have to be ugly about it.” Ugly? Since when is a smile ugly?
Charles Bukowski said it best: “Of course Hell is other people.”
Re: class factotum
I think the basic ideas is as follows -
Grabbing someone’s wallet with their credit card = easy
Making a basic imitation of the signature on the back = easy
Getting a convincing fake ID if the credit card says “Photo ID Only” = hard
Obviously this isn’t an issue if they decide to use the card online, but in that case you would hopefully be able to track down the shipping address.
If you’re paying via debit, I could care less if you’re using your parakeet’s card so long as the PIN clears. I don’t need a signature.
If you’re paying via credit, I need your driver’s license. If I don’t ask, I get canned and can’t buy anymore skin breakout-inducing ramen to eat late at night between shifts of my 7.25/hr and 9/hr job(s).
A necessary evil that sucks on both sides of the register.
@ShawnPavey – I am SO with you on that.
I can understand a store asking your zip code to geo-identify you – it helps them figure out if they need to open a new store, close an existing one and/or service their customers. OK, that’s fine.
Why they need your phone number – especially when many phone numbers are cell numbers and not tied necessarily to the area it’s being used in – is beyond me.
I’ll gladly give my email address to a store I like and shop at often. But I don’t see why Bath and Body Works needs my phone number and email address every time I buy their fancy shower gel.
Radio Shack was the worst. I haven’t shopped in there in so long I have no idea if it’s changed, but I remember being asked name, address, phone number, date of birth and about everything else but an SSN to buy a pack of batteries. I just walked away. In-saaane.
(ps: obviously, talking about everyday retail here. specialty stores or places like, say, car dealers would clearly have that info.)
I no longer sign my name for credit card purchases, instead I draw a smiley face!
I dunno about this one. My credit card number was stolen and someone made a fake card with the digits. Then they went on a shopping spree until Visa put a hold on my account.
Had one of the many cashiers ever looked at the card, they would have caught the perp. I got my money back, but some jerk has about $1200 of crap of Walmart that all of us paid for.