There is one skill that can differentiate you from other job seekers during the interview process. It’s so simple.
Please stop talking.
This seems counter-intuitive, but you are interviewing for a job and not deconstructing your life history on Oprah’s couch. Arrive at the interview with some level of prep. Research and understand the organization, the culture, and the job. Read the job description 100 times, even though the job description probably sucks. Think about your professional history and how your knowledge and experiences could be used to demonstrate your unbelievable awesomeness.
Walk into the interview with the goal of being likeable but owning the conversation. Keep your stories simple, make great eye contact, and STFU when you are done talking.
Important things to know.
- Only rookies add an afterthought or additional commentary onto a story.
- Only knuckleheads will joke around and try to seem funny. This isn’t Last Comic Standing.
- Realize that when someone else is talking during the interview process — like the hiring manager — it’s a sign that they like you. They are too busy talking about themselves to judge you harshly.
Silence is your secret weapon.
Now please STFU and get a job.
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Great advice. STFU comes in so handy in keeping a Job too!
@Gerry Brilliant, of course.
Damn…There is nothing worse…Can we please add STFU as the #1 Sales Skill?…
@Shaun Word.
Sorry, I’m hung up on acronyms now…I love using STFU whenever I can! This actually leads me to another acronym that people use in the business world – and I DON’T KNOW WHY! FU = follow up. How does this acronym come up in the least appropriate places?
Here’s a fun example.
- An email from me to someone wanting to demo a product: “I don’t know what our space constraints will be when we are there. I know we have meeting space, etc, but I don’t know how much yet. Can we revisit maybe come the end of July once we are moved in and things are getting settled down?”
- The reply: “Absolutely. Thank you for responding and I am glad all is well with you. I will fu then.”
Which leads me to another acronym, my thought upon receiving this reply was WTF?!
@HR Chris Hilarious.
@ Laurie–as someone who has chronic diarrhea of the mouth, I sooooooooo needed to hear this reminder.
@ Chris–that is too funny. I work with people who use the acronym “HO” for “home office”. I’m like, “ummmm . . . “
@rain I’m right there with you.
Back in the olden days, before emails (oh!) I use to write f/u in the upper right corner on all of the cases I needed to follow up on, with the date written next to “my code.” No one then would have ever assumed that it meant or suggested anything else. I don’t think. Who knows.
That aside, with regard to over talking in an interview- and hiring managers who talk too much, let’s face it, interviewing is a fine art, on both sides. There are hiring managers who ramble on endlessly- doesn’t mean that they have their act together either. The bottom line is to not make the mistake of being in an interview you don’t want to be in- maybe that’s when nervous energy turns into rambling.
This is true Laurie. The other part that I think prompts one to be talkative is that awkward silence. In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably only a few seconds but feels much longer. It’s important to understand that it’s okay to chill during that silence while the interviewer is gathering his/her thoughts. I also think if someone is savvy & experienced enough to pull it off, asking creative questions vs. the “suggested” ones allow the interviewer to see the jobseeker as being innovative and interesting. No one wants to be in a boring interview!
Thanks Laurie! This comes up so much. I’ve interviewed 1000 people and this is so very true and happens so very often. I just got a new job and during my interviews I was especially conscious of not talking too much and not getting off on any tangents. I literally was sitting with my soon to be new boss and realized that he was doing all the talking and my first thought was – He Likes Me.
Regarding the acronyms: They have become so prevelant and essentially meaningless that I had this experience with a friend who is, shall we say, very religiously moral. He was sending a text message to his 10 year old son (the kid has his own cell phone – not all that unusual I suppose). He replied to something his son texted to him with – WTF. I said, “You know what WTF stands for, right?” His draw dropped open – fell right to the floor.
@Glen YOU GOT A NEW JOB? Send me an email and tell me more. laurie@punkrockhr.com So excited for you. Hooray!
Does this mean that introverts have a better chance of being hired than extroverts?
@bruno I would prefer to hire introverts so I’m left alone…
With all due respect, I have to disagree w/the comment that interviewing is a “fine art.” It’s not! It’s a conversation so 2 people can determine if they can work together and if the job can be done correctly. Yes, I’m generalizing a bit, but let’s face it… if you try and “talk the talk” during an interview but can’t cut it at your desk, the relationship will not continue.
Interviewing is a meeting where you take the steps to build a relationship and both parties decide if they would like to continue that relationship. It really shouldn’t be sugar coated.
@Kimberly Maybe interviewing isn’t a fine art, but it’s an art when one person is totally unprepared or unskilled on the rules. You’re so right on what it should be…
Topsy Turvy that MF’er.
http://www.movietranscriptions.com/289649_Curb_Your_Enthusiasm_s06e06.html
@Scott Funny shit. OMG.
First of all: Best. ClipArt. Ever.
Second: More spot on advice. The key is tricking yourself into feeling confident enough that you don’t need to keep trying to persuade the person to hire you – by being in their office, you’re halfway there. Brownie points for not showing up looking like you just cruised over from Wal-Mart.
@Simone Thank you. Also, you’re so right about confidence.
Amen! After 10-15 minutes, the candidate is really shining and then they let their guard down and screw it up. My favorite is the “pause”. If they can pass the pause test, he/she is usually going to do well (as long as they don’t have that “deer in the headlights” look). On the other side of the table, why do so many hiring managers use the interview to bolster their own egos? You’re absolutely right, this is the best case scenario for a candidate that can’t keep their mouth shut.
@Steven I have no idea why we think behavior-based interviews are an effective way to hire someone. Lame.
I am a proponent for the KISS school of thought – Keep It Simple Stupid! It is my mantra when interviewing and often I am SCREAMING it in my head when listening to an interviewee. I have said to an interviewee after listening to them ramble – “this next question I need you to answer in 2 sentences. If they are big ramblers this is like watching a computer short circuit. It tells me how they will handle things like staff meetings, customers, employee issues, work like, water cooler talk…. over explainers – OY!
@Randi Over-explainers kill me slowly. Ugh.
Great, simple advice. I’ve learned that rambling can equate to unpreparedness. I’m sure it can be quite impressive when you’re able to answer questions succinctly, especially if the interviewer has to go through many applicants at a time.
@Rochelle Well said. Thanks!
@Simone – I second your thought on the clip art!
@Randi – “2 sentences” – Great response for the ramblers I will be using that going forward!
Great post. It always amazes me what people do in job interviews to sabotage themselves. You tell them over and over to prepare, dress nice and be polite (and STFU which I’m adding to the list now) and instead they show up at an interview an hour late, smelling of cigarettes with their mother in tow. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall sometimes.
@ Chris – That gave me a mean case of the giggles. I can’t wait to start telling my co-workers to fu.
@Stefanie Self-sabotage is so insightful because it’s true.
I love work acronyms. At my company, everything goes by initials. Right now we are creating a new position and I’m lobbying hard to make sure the new title has crazy initials that people will pronounce. Like: BAM, RAM or SPAM. Yes, I am a little evil. I really want someone to refer to a group of employees as SPAMs.
@Michelle I love it.
Listening is the more widely used form of communication, and you can gain a lot of insight from it. Not just what people are saying, but how they’re saying it.
@Rick Listen with your eyes!
First off, three things immediately came to mind…
(1) “You have two ears and one mouth – use them proportionally”
(2) “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt”
(3) “Diarrhea of the mouth is typically symptomatic of constipation of the mind”
Second, a good friend gave me these; I like to hand them out at the right time when the other person just isn’t reading the writing on the wall (or seems content with reading it out loud)
Interviews remind me of two people meeting for the first time, say at a bar, and they’re trying to get to know each other – in a non-professional sort of way, if you catch my drift. Best feet are forward and each is doing their best to impress the other.
Then someone lets out a loud burp – or even “better”, there have been some really nice dinners together, things are heating up…and then someone decides to let one rip. There’s a time and place for “casual” – and we all know that time HAS to come – but it needs some strategic compromising until the time is right. BTW, when it does happen, why is it the other person is ALWAYS surprised?
The challenge in recruiting is deciding when and what to say – and how to say it. I don’t think STFU is the best overall strategy, just one of many that needs balancing.
@steve STFU isn’t the best strategy for everyone, but I love those cards. Also, Ken just told me, “You have a voicemail from someone who called you Mrs. Scrubby.” I’m leaving for California in the morning but let’s catch up ASAP.
Who knew silence would be the better weapon of choice in an interview? Most peeps are bent on talking (at least you should speak when they ask you the questions)…I guess knowing when not to speak…looking for cues, that is…would definitely help even things out.
Speaking of which, the funniest advice I ever got about preparing for a job interview was to imagine the hiring manager sitting on a toilet (the great equalizer, she called it) during the interview…unfortunately her own son couldn’t follow her advice…in one major interview, he wound up laughing so uncontrollably. Of course, he never got the job.
(It went down the tubes, so to speak.)
Great conversation you have going here!
Karen, The Resume Chick (on Google or Twitter if you need me)
@Karen Great advice. Thanks for adding to the conversation!!
I can’t tell you how much I want to print out that hilarious baby and post it on my door.
Second, I totally want to buy this shirt and wear it to interviews, even though it’d be inappropriate.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/generic/78ae/
But you are spot on. I know that there are certain personalities that just keep on talking when they’re nervous. If you’re one of those people, keep it in check. And for crap’s sake, stop interrupting the people interviewing you, or take the cue when they start talking and shut it. Continuing to talk is showing us that you can’t listen.
@H Aria I’m not lying when I say that I wrote this post around the baby.
Keeping things in check. Yep. Knowing when to reel it in. Yep. That’s why face to communication is, I believe, a fine art. It takes a lot of practice to know your audience, read them and follow leads. People just don’t come out of a box knowing how to do that. It’s learning it, understanding it and putting into play.
@iknow Exactly. It’s so difficult and definitely an acquired skill.
I like SNAFU – Situation Normal – All Fucked Up!
Oh— and yes, Laughter is a close 1a. death nail (next to talking too much.) Just because you think granny falling down a flight of stairs is funny— I might think you kick puppy dogs to get your jollies. Nope– you’re not Richard Pryor either— so the odds are against you of you actually being funny.
But by ALL means though, laugh at any joke the hiring manager or owner might mention— regardless of it’s inappropriateness– you can turn down the job if you need to later.
@mattymat Humor is so dangerous. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made jokes that are just stupid & ridiculous. I’ve learned from my own mistakes.
@Laurie, I love you.
You’ll notice I’ve been trying to keep my replies brief…
@econopete I’ll take it. Thank you.
Definitely a helpful perspective Laurie. Do think it is always possible to not speak enough? I often get the impression I make people uncomfortable with my brevity.
@Joseph You have to be likeable. Be brief but inflect your tone. Lean forward when you speak. Smile. There you go. That should help. Or just do what I do — roll your eyes and giggle a lot.
Laurie, I couldn’t have agreed with you more. This is one of my pet peeves when interviewing folks.
My fave line of yours: “Now please STFU and get a job.” ….priceless
@Tasha Please use that line OFTEN.
When I get nervous I think I talk too much. I just had a “chat” with a PR firm recruiter/HR person this afternoon.
*please tiny baby jeebus, please tell me I didn’t chatter on like a lemur*
@DysF Thank god you’re so cute. That earns points.
Nothing worse than asking a candidate a question that should take a few sentences to answer and have to interupt them 15 minutes later to get them back on track….
Good post.
Typo: “stop taking” should be “talking”
@clster Amen.
@John You’re hired as my editor. Scrubby is falling down on the job. Thanks!
@Laurie Nice. I’ll bring my punk rock editing skills.
The best interview I ever had was when the HM did 75-80% of the talking. I was more than happy to STFU.
Some of the “notes” comments reminded me of when there was an actual “clean” purpose to writing certain abreviations on someone’s app at a particular workplace, but even better if it also had a dual meaning.
The acronym I liked best was NFW – it meant something innocent, but no effing way, was the bonus definition.
@Talenttalks I like NFW, too!
Seriously, that picture just makes my day everytime I see it.
GREAT point. I’ve seen this many times on the HR side of the interview table. And worse, I’ve been guilty of this MANY times while on the other side of the interview table. I’m a nervous talker. Gotta get that locked down.
As an executive coach and lifelong learner, I’ve caught myself playing too many times playing the “I’m the smartest one in the room” game. When I feel anxious about fitting in, I share some (in my mind) great idea. Others sense my fear. I do too. When tempted to play that game, I now more frequently invoke the gold of silence. Listening lets me notice the best others have to offer. Noticing the gifts of others is heard as wisdom.