Here are some important facts about the flu from the CDC.
Every year in the United States, on average:
- 5% to 20% of the population gets the flu;
- more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu complications, and;
- about 36,000 people die from flu.
If you are like most people, you are stupid and won’t get a flu shot.
Here’s why you should get one, buddy.
- The shots are cheap.
- The vaccines are readily available around this time of year — get yours now because in a few weeks the local media will start running those “killer flu” stories on the evening news.
- If you are vaccinated against the flu, you won’t infect your co-workers.
- If you get a flu shot, you won’t get sick when one of your stupid co-workers comes to the office with the flu.
Think you never get the flu? Think again.
I said the same thing until I was infected — out of nowhere — on Christmas Eve 2001 by my cousin (who shall remain nameless). I was sick through the middle of January 2002 with a horrible upper respiratory infection. I almost invoked my rights & privileges under FMLA, which is fine for you to do but is frowned upon when HR professionals use their own benefits and sick days. (God, I hate asshole HR leaders.)
I had an alien living in my body; this creature ripped apart my lungs and poured cement into my sinuses. I was contagious for what seemed like weeks and infected several people — like a germ-robot — because I was too stupid to stay home and avoid contact with humankind.
I know you’re a total dumb-ass like me. Learn from my mistakes and get vaccinated on the cheap at your employer’s health clinic, Target, Walgreens, CVS, or Wal-Mart (it hurts me to suggest Wal-Mart, but the clinic is wicked cheap).
It’s not punk rock to be sick and germy, yo.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen! Had nearly the same experience, and I’m a True Believer now.
My husband has always been resistant to getting the flu shot. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think it may be because he resists doing things that are expected of him. His mom is an epidemiologist, so he’s doubly expected to be vaccinated against diseases.
Last year he got the flu, perhaps for the first time in his life. He said he felt like he was dying. When I asked him if he would get a flu shot the next time around, he said, “Yeah,” without reservation.
But now he’s reverted back to being a big ol’ baby and probably won’t get the shot. So, yeah, he’s a dumbass.
I’ve had the flu twice in my life. The first time (at age 17) I thought the same as my husband — that I was dying, and perhaps that would have been preferable. I have received a flu shot every year since then. But I was damn unlucky another year and got the flu despite the vaccination, so that I was crazy sick AND pissed off.
Rob – We belong to the church of the heavenly vaccination.
Crystal – I don’t think the flu shot is 100% fail safe, but I like the odds of NOT getting sick with the shot. Dying might be preferable to the flu. I felt like I was cooking from the inside and being frozen on the outside, like a weird piece of meat. Ugh.
Last year I got a flu shot, because a) I’m asthmatic and get bronchitis as soon as someone just thinks of coughing near me, b) I use public transportation (germy, yo!) and c) I’m a hypochondriac (I like to call it “well informed about health issues”).
Well, the shot caused me to feel sick for about a week, and then, about two months later, I caught the FLU FROM HELL. It was awful! Laurie, you described it well with “cooking from the inside and being frozen on the outside” – I was so sick that I was bedridden for two weeks and it took another two/three weeks for me to be able to do strenuous activities like take a walk around the block.
I was seriously thinking of skipping the shot this year, but the Punk Rock HR Diva/High Priestess of the Church of Heavenly Vaccination convinced me to get one when I go to my doctor next week.
But how do you know the flu shot isn’t a means for the government to implant a microchip into every American citizen as a means of tracking us and possibly even controlling us as a means of taking over the planet as a means of preparing it for conquest by the reptilian aliens from Alpha Draconis?
Huh?
Karin – Sometimes I think there are two types of flu. There’s the flu that normal chumps pass along, which is easily battled by the vaccination. Then there’s the super-awesome-Detroit flu (or something like that) where your body can’t help but to have the shit kicked out of it!! Could also be the Gary, Indiana flu or the Bronx flu. Maybe the Sacramento flu, but I don’t know much about Sacramento.
Mason – What? Did suddenly just convince you to vote for Ron Paul and take up arms against the Commie UN? I know you’re a) in the south & b) in the humanities — but the flu shot is science. Don’t be scared. Science is good for us!
thanks for the nudge. i am totes gonna get one now. xo
I’m not in one of those flu-high-risk groups (seniors/kids/respiratory-ailments/immune-system-compromised – does that mostly cover it?). so I’ve never felt I really needed to get a flu shot. But when I was at my doctor’s for a regular exam last week, the nurse asked if I wanted one, so I went ahead and got it. No side effects, don’t know if it will matter much, but it couldn’t hurt. Besides, my husband believes in them and I knew he’d be glad I got one.
Karin – My significant other is the same way. If there is a path of least resistance he will take it. I don’t get it.
Cols – get one x100. You need to be healthy when we move to NYC.
Florinda – Amen. Might as well get one — if you didn’t, you would totally get the flu.
hrWench – I think it’s a guy thing.