@HRJEFE Prosit!!!!

*employee relations — send to Legal.
*Benefits/payroll admin — send to Finance
*HRIM — send to IT. SO much time wasted while those two groups fight — throw ‘em in the same group with shared accountability and let ‘em hug it out.
*Performance management — trash it. Performance is one of the many leader accountabilities that HR allows leaders to shirk by overbuilding and directing process, along with hiring, culture, career development, change management, team dynamics… the list goes on.

*Hire, reward, and promote leaders who understand that THEY are HR to their people. Fire the ones who think they can’t “do” career coaching without a form. Support them with a very lean group that is NOT called HR and whose sole purpose is support leaders to unleash people potential.

Therefore, I will also pony up a round to get the creative juices flowing \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ Cheers!

@Dan Can I just say that you are awesome and brilliant? I want to be The Face!

@Matt You’re *nothing* in HR if you can’t plan TYCTWD and order a few dozen donuts for an executive meeting. Get your house in order and stop dreaming about these crazy opportunities in HR.

1)Continually assessing which few positions are truly strategic to achieving the organizational mission and strategy as they evolve

2)Making sure those few key positions are filled with top talent and a future pipeline

3)Directing executive behavior through incentive compensation that rewards strategic success.

But if HR is in fact reduced to a bunch of Project Managers that negotiate contracts with vendors, even for the strategic items mentioned above, I might lose my religion and have to find a new profession.

I could be way off base and if so, no worries. I can still plan a mean picnic, collect performance appraisals with the best of em, recite stupid labor and employment law, and tinker around with our health care plan design until the sun comes up. That should buy me a year or two while I learn a new trade….

@Laurie–I agree that the CEOs and VPs and managers need to think of employees, too. Seems like HR folks are their servant, when really, it should be the other way around. And I agree–psychology is way overrated–especially in the workplace. They are already into your head enough.

@HAria–You just really don’t know how uncool this artist is…but I’ll still accept the round!

BZ

LT Templeton “Faceman” Peck (AKA Face) — With the unorthodox plans created from above you will need someone who can communicate those strategies in a way that gets everyone on board and commits them to mission fullfillment. Training, communicating, development, and massaging egos will be his specialty.

Capt. HM (Howling Mad) Murdock — The teams pilot, I see him as the HR Systems guy I need someone that can take HR systems and move them to the next level. He needs to be partially insane in order to put his foot down with IT and explain to them our needs.

SGT BA (Bad Attitude) Barracus — Legal and compliance…don’t “F” with him. When he speaks you listen. Face will be needed to massage egos after he is through with whichever manager catches his gaze.

Frankie Santana — Special Effects. Probably would have to be two people for compensation and benefits. He is in charge of making people believe that the organization is putting their money where their mouth is as far as the unorthodox strategies. The right explosion at the right time is very close to getting that great package together for that talent aquisition and making sure that comp and bennies fit in with the rest of the picture.

Meh, probably a stretch and I am sure there are holes, but it would be fun. Now everyone hum the A-Team theme (Bah da dum dum).