In response to yesterday’s post about the ultimate interview question, I wanted to share my worst interview experience.
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I interviewed with a Vice President of Human Resources for a role as a Human Resources manager. The VP wouldn’t have been my direct boss, but he wanted to meet me before my potential boss extended an offer. He was very kind & thoughtful to see me. We spent about an hour together and he expressed great pride in his team and passion for his work.
The VP promised that, if hired, I would be exposed to C-level executives and would be empowered to take risks. He committed to giving me the freedom & space to make mistakes and learn from those around me. He gave examples of how he fostered diversity within his organization and told me that I would have his full support on all issues, great and small. I was told that I would be given all the tools and training needed to successfully accomplish my goals.
Wow, I thought, this job sounds awesome.
Then he said, “If you ever screw up and don’t tell me about it, though, I’ll rip your head off and shit down your throat.”
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Ever feel like you misheard something or someone — but didn’t?
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I blinked and smiled. The VP blinked and smiled. There was a moment of silence, and the VP asked, “What would it take for you to accept this job?”
At that point, I had several options: I could have reacted with disdain, grabbed my briefcase, and walked away from the job. I could have gone into a blind rage and told him to shove the job up his ass. I could have done something as simple as roll my eyes. Instead, I took a deep breath and chose to respond to him in the way that I normally respond to someone who said something ridiculous: I ignored him.
I told the Vice President, “I’m money-motivated and I have other opportunities at this point in my career. Make me a great offer — a really great offer — and I’ll accept it.”
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Just like that, the interview was over. We ended the discussion with smiles and a firm handshake, and I walked out of the office carrying my briefcase and a pamphlet on the company’s core values. (I swear to god.)
In retrospect, I understand that my reaction to his comment was the interview itself. I didn’t need to demonstrate my knowledge, skills or abilities as a Human Resources generalist. I just needed to pass this faux-psychological-exam and demonstrate that I had some balls.
My friends, there is no question about it: I have balls.
Two days later, when the verbal offer was extended, I shrugged my shoulders and accepted the job. The money was great and I felt that it was better to do business with the chumpsky you know than the chumpsky you don’t know. If being bullied by a passive-aggressive older man in Human Resources is as bad as it gets, I knew I could handle the job with pflying colors.
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Suckers, what’s your worst story???
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I read it wrong at first. I thought he said if you ever screw up he’ll ya know do that stuff we won’t mention. There was a way to get that message across without going to that extreme. I would have been worried how he’d truly act if a mistake was made.
I think you are the queen of the Gen Xers. Regarding the Boomer command-and-control tactics, I think a lot of us tend to go in the direction of “I’m not going to react to that, but I’m not going to forget it.” There’s a Hannibal Lector quality to that
The patience to outmanuever the shmucks. Eat them with some fava beans. I think you can see a lot of that in the Clinton/Obama showdown. I would consider Obama an Xer. And whatever your politics, you have to admit that he outmanuevered Clinton. That’s why Xers rule. We’re stealth in our manuevers.
Thanks for the visual, MR. VP of HR.
@RachL Either way, I was pretty much assured that my head would get ripped off.
@GenX I was practicing my approach as a mother. I thought, “If kids say something outrageous and stupid, you don’t pay attention to those behaviors.” That being said, your Boomer/X insight is totally SPOT ON because, really, the Baby Boomers are kids who seek out attention as adults. PS – The Obama-Clinton comparison is perfect. Voters rejected the looking-backwards-nostalgia of the ME generation. Clinton would ask, “What doesn’t my opponent like about the 90s? The peace or the prosperity?” I would answer, “I didn’t like Monica Lewinsky and the gridlock with Newt Gingrich. Otherwise it was okay, not great.
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@Regina The visual is so ridiculous. I just imagined a drill sgt screaming WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION? I kind of felt sorry for him, though. Who feels compelled to talk that way?
So, did he live up to the image he gave you of himself in that interview?
Wow, great retort. That line the VPHR used was so Gordon Gecko — and you Tina Fey’d him. Beauty.
Sometimes it does take huevos. And wit. You have both (one of them figuratively). well done…still laughing….and going “hmmmmm.”
dude, i like Tina Fey
I lose my huevos when I become angry. Why? Because anger sometimes = crying. I HATE IT. If I could get a handle on that one thing I think I could be more successful.
Here is my worst interview story. For a final interview with a consulting company, I had to fly down from Ottawa to Houston for an interview on Monday morning. They made all the travel arrangements and I left on Sunday afternoon. However before the plane took off, we waited and waited and waited for the weather conditions to improve. When we finally left, it was too late to grab by connecting flight in Chicago (I only got to Chicago around midnight!).
Here is the fun part: the weather was also very bad in Chicago and all the hotels were full. I thought it was not the best idea to take the presidential suite at the hotel’s Hilton so I ended up spending the entire night walking around the airport and trying to sleep on the floor. Luckily I had managed to get on a waiting list for the next morning’s flight.
I finally arrived to Houston, shortly before noon. My suit was the most wrinkled suit you could imagine since I had tried to use my carry-on as a pillow. I had not taken a shower since the previous morning. I was at least 2 hours late for the interviews. I can only imagine what I looked like and what must have went on in their mind when I stepped in the board room.
The interviews went on for about 2 hours, then I was on the cab to get back to Ottawa. The next day I got a call saying: “We really need troopers like you”.
Nice. I took the job.
The unspoken question is as follows: Did said head removal and subsequent fecal throat filling ever occur? (NOTE – This is not to imply that you need a breath mint.) Incidentally, I did like your response!
My most painful interview involved me walking in with my starched-white shirt and suit covered in blood. I had just witnessed a horrific accident on the interstate and had pulled over the help the driver. In the process, I managed to get splattered (apologies for the gore) head to toe. Still in shock, I got back in my car and drove to the interview, now running about 15 minutes late. I walked directly into the HR VP’s office and began to chat as if nothing was amiss. Suddenly realizing my state, I tried to reassure her by saying – “Don’t worry Sarah. It’s not my blood.” She screamed and ran out of her office to call security. Nice one Mark…. *grin*
My worst interview…
I had a Friday afternoon interview set up at a commercial and residential property management company in Overland Park, KS. I met with a VP and the Director of HR. The interview with the VP was fantastic! The Director of HR was less than fantastic. Her card indicated that she had her SPHR certification, but it must have been a typo! At one point in the interview, she asked me where I live. I tried to redirect the questioning without success. When I finally answered, she then asked how long of a drive that would be for me (30 minutes) and inquired about my means of transportation. Mind you, this was between her husband calling on the cell phone several times to arrange for a sky diving trip the next day. To finish up the interview, she told me that the owner of the company frequently got himself in trouble. She gave a great example; he fired someone because she was pregnant. I practically ran out of that office and promptly called my recruiter from the parking lot to let her know that this position is clearly NOT what I’m looking for.
oh, i love this story. and i love someone who can pull out a curse word here or there. shows they’ve got some fire in the belly. and HR pros who curse, even better. love it.
I once had a horrible interview with a sr. partner for a consulting job . The whole time he corrected my answers telling me I was wrong etc. I was convinced I just wanted to leave and then he says to me “I’m not going to beat around the bush, I’m going to recommend we hire you”. I was so shocked I couldn’t think of what to say, so I found myself stuttering a lame “ok”-type response.
@Mark Oh My God. That’s the craziest & best interview story. Wow. Amazing & gross.
@DMarie Don’t you wish that people like the Director of HR would just go find something else to do? They give HR a bad name!
@Jessica I love to swear. Love it. I couldn’t make it through the day without tossing out a curse word. It’s the only way to roll.
@MegBear I’m not going to beat around the bush, Meg. That guy sounds like a loser.
Interesting…Well, during my 3 months of unemployment, I received a call from the VP of a telecommunications company in Houston Texas. He informed me that I had the qualifications he needed for an Executive Assistant/ HR Generalist position within his company. When I arrived for the interview, the first thing that came out of his mouth was “are you Hispanic?” Course, I answered his question with a big smile on my face and followed him to the interview room…his office
. He proceeded by giving me incite to his rise as a business owner. After he gave me his history, he began with his next question. 2.”Do do have any small children?” “If so, this will be a problem because I need someone at my beck and call.” I responded by telling him no, no children of any kind. 3… “Are you a Christian?” “We are all Christian here and get along just great.” I told him that I should be Catholic but attend church every other week…Sundays. 4.”One final question, are you married or single?” See, we are going to be extremely busy during the next couple of months as our business grows. I need busy bodies here. At the end of the interview, he asked me if I had any questions or comments. I ended the interview with this: Mr. David, I want to thank you for taking the time off your busy schedule in meeting with me today. This interview has been a blessing for me in so many ways. Let me fill you in; I have one year of experience as a Human Resources Assistant and 8 years within business management. I can admire the way you so happen to build your successful business without any lawsuits during your time you hired your current staff and during recent interviews for this position. Every question that you asked me is illegal and if I gave you an answer that did not meet your needs, I will be suing you. I will take the opportunity if you will still have me. Happy to say that he gave the position and I only lasted 4 months there. I walk away with meeting Satan…the business Satan. ***His sister slipped in the office and he fired her because he said she was clumsy*** that did it for me. People, this is real…I’m not joking…REAL