I’m not very good with boundaries on the internet, which is a real pain-in-the-ass because I didn’t realize this problem until it was too late. I was well into my third year of blogging at Punk Rock HR before I realized, hey, maybe I need to be a little less friendly and a little more direct with people.

I am an idiot.

The problem starts and ends with the me. I like to meet new people and hear stories. I ask probing questions. I should really STFU and mind my own business, but I assume that everything will be fine. Most of the time, everything is fine. I meet new people and get to know a little about them. The world is a brighter place.

Unfortunately, there have been situations where my enthusiasm has been misunderstood. That’s the downside of a social media persona, I guess, but I really resent those moments when I have to have an honest conversation that goes like this.

• I don’t want to receive emails from you where you criticize your wife.
• I can’t help you qualify for long-term disability benefits.
• Stop texting me about your weekend plans because you are being totally inappropriate.
• I can’t be more clear: I don’t want to have sex with you.

Ugh. It feels so gross.

I take full responsibility for these situations. I operate in a world (that doesn’t exist) where I assume that I’m allowed to have professional, collegial relationships that are little more honest and authentic. I know that my language confuses people, too. I ask for details. I prod. I demonstrate a level of verbal intimacy on my blog that pushes the boundaries.

Double ugh. Damn you, Punk Rock HR. I am a liberal arts student. I’ve read my fair share of Derrida. I should know that communication is so unbelievably complicated.

So if you’re one of those people who reached out to me and feels rebuked, I apologize for your hurt feelings. I just can’t have a serious relationship with you. Your bipolar diagnosis/failed marriage/awful spouse/horrible childhood is sad. I wish you well.

Boundaries. I’m developing them. I’m sorry if you don’t understand it. Neither do I.

So it goes.

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I wasn’t feeling well, earlier this summer, and I blogged about it.

My clinical diagnosis was ‘tummy troubs’. Yes, I’m in fourth grade.

I really appreciate the comments on my blog, but as I navigated through the real world, I quickly discovered that no one wanted to hear about my tummy trouble. I got some feedback from a friend that talking about health is like talking about your dreams.

• It’s boring,
• it is impossible for people to understand and share the experience,
• and once you talk about diarrhea and acid reflux, there’s nowhere to go in a conversation.

In other words, talking about health problems can be perceived as a very selfish act.

Another thing I learned? Many of the people who wanted to talk about my problems were hypochondriacs who wanted to one-up me and talk about their own problems.

You have tummy trouble? I have mesothelioma.

Cheese and rice, people. It’s not a competition.

The other weird thing I discovered is that people who are very sick — cancer in the bones, debilitating arthritis, heart disease, cystic fibrosis — don’t work their illnesses into everyday conversation. Many of them approach life from a hermeneutic of wellness. Instead of taking every opportunity to outline a litany of medical tests and prescription drugs, they cherish the opportunity to go to the office, take stupid meetings, and talk about celebrity gossip.

So here’s what I learned: health issues shouldn’t be minimized, but it’s important to realize that it’s the least interesting among us who hijack a conversation and talk about health.

I’m no Debbie Downer and neither are you. Let’s take some Tums and get on with the business of life.

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Fuck it. I want to repost my favorite video EVAR — the dramatic chipmunk.

No, fuck it again, let’s do Parry Gripp.

We’re done here.

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If you work in Human Resources or live in Ohio, you need to know Steve Browne. He is the ultimate connector and social media guidance counselor — but he also works in the trenches of Human Resources. Steve is the Executive Director of HR for LaRosa’s. He has responsibilities for the strategic direction of over 1400 Human Resources employees. In his spare time, he is active in Ohio SHRM and runs a subscriber-based newsletter called HR Net.

He knits the HR community together beyond the state of Ohio.

And Steve is unbelievably generous and humble.

When I told Steve that I wanted to feature him as my final Sunday HR Shout-Out, he was over the moon. What a guy. If you want access to his awesome email newsletter, you have to email him. It’s almost quaint to send an email, right? You can also connect with him on LinkedIn.

Steve, thanks for all the great work you do. In the immortal words of Bon Jovi, you give HR a good name.

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